


Last Chance

by Laura81



Category: American Actor RPF
Genre: Angst, F/F, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-23
Updated: 2013-03-23
Packaged: 2017-12-06 04:27:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 47,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/731426
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Laura81/pseuds/Laura81
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The first time they met was like fire, the second time like ice. What will the third time bring? </p>
<p>It's been years since Voyager ended, but Kate can't get Jeri out of her mind. Jeri has married and moved on, but seeing Kate again brings it all back and both women find themselves once again drawn to each other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Last Chance

Disclaimer: This is ACTORFIC, a work of FICTION. Repeat NONE of this is REAL. None of this EVER happened. It is written purely in fun, not intended to disparage either actress. It is strictly from my fantasy world, so if you don’t like the idea of Kate Mulgrew and Jeri Ryan having lesbian sex and wanting to be together then DO NOT READ THIS! If you do read this despite these warnings and you’re against this sort of thing then maybe you need to think about why you’re reading it.

Thanks: To my beta readers – LZClotho & BeachBum. I would never have finished this if not for these two women. Any mistakes or inconsistencies still remaining are mine. Written during: November 2006 – February 2007

 

_I'll just flip through the channels and see what's on. No harm in that._

 

Taking a sip from her vodka, Kate ignored the small snort her sub-conscious gave her. This was how it always began. For the past 4 weeks Kate would sit down in front of her TV at 8:30 always telling herself she was just channel surfing. A ridiculous lie she well knew since she had never done such a thing before in her life and was not likely to start at 51 years old.

 

Allowing herself a small smirk of contempt at herself she flicked through no more than two channels before landing on the one she wanted, CBS. Home to the new television show "Shark."

 

_What are you doing woman?_

 

Having no answer she could accept she ignored the internal query, drank back the rest of her vodka and watched the opening of the episode.

 

Half way through the show she was happy to see that the reason she was tuning in had much more airtime than was previously had in the other episodes. _About time._

 

The show didn't really interest her but she watched enraptured as the D.A. walked down the sidewalk in a tailor made power suit and Raybans.

 

_You're having a mid-life crisis. You've gone through menopause, your boys are grown up and moved out, your mother has just died; you're having a mid-life crisis._

 

This was the mantra she said to herself every Thursday night as she sat down in front of the TV to watch Shark. It was the only half-decent excuse she could accept to deal with her over-whelming obsession with Jeri Ryan.

 

Not that it was necessarily a new obsession but she thought she had learned to control it. It had flared relentlessly eight years ago when she had been forced to work with Jeri on Voyager but she had dealt with it. Not very well, but she had. Once Voyager had stopped filming she was convinced Jeri would again be out of her life forever. She should have known better. She thought the exact same thing when they met for the first time seventeen years ago. She couldn't have been more wrong, receiving the shock of a lifetime when she'd been told that Jeri Ryan was the latest edition to the Star Trek Voyager cast. 

 

The first day Jeri arrived on set to work Kate felt like she was free falling. Not knowing how to handle her own resurgent emotions towards the young woman she turned everything she felt into animosity and ended up treating Jeri like shit. After two years of working with Jeri, Kate had actually handed in her resignation. It was only persistent pleading by the Executive Producers that made her reconsider and finish out the remaining two years. 

 

Kate had never felt so conflicted about the ending of a show as she did when Voyager ended its seven-year run. Finally she would be able to once again leave Jeri Ryan behind her. Nothing had actually happened between the two as it had when they'd first met seventeen years ago but just being around Jeri was enough to tempt Kate and Kate didn't want to be tempted. 

 

There had been a few very close calls. Once Kate had walked into Jeri's trailer to discuss their lines in the script and found Jeri in her terrycloth white bathrobe. It was held loosely together with the ties but open enough for Kate to realize Jeri wore nothing underneath it. She stopped dead in her tracks and stared for what seemed minutes but in reality probably only a few seconds. When she regained herself enough to take her gaze from Jeri's body their eyes met and she saw the same passion as when she had first met the engaging young acting major. Kate knew without doubt that her eyes mirrored Jeri's own and she knew Jeri knew it too. It suddenly felt as if time and circumstance had never come between them. Turning promptly on her heel she fled the trailer in terror. Hearing Jeri call her name nearly made her lose her resolve but she stayed her course.

 

Later that day during filming Jeri sought her out in a secluded corner of the Paramount lot. Jeri simply said her name and Kate knew what was coming. The coming confrontation had been haunting her all day. Thinking about how much she hated herself she shoved her own needs back into the darkness, gathered herself and turned to Jeri with cold eyes simply saying "no." Jeri stared into her hard gaze for only moments before acknowledging her decision with a quick nod then turning and walking away. She swore she could feel Jeri’s heel digging into her heart with each step those long legs took away from her. Kate had rushed to her trailer after Jeri was out of sight and cried for what felt like forever until she was called back to shooting. She’d called in sick the next day; one of the few times ever.

 

That incident happening only weeks into the filming of season four Kate expected to be confronted again. However, Jeri never tried to bring up the matter again. Kate knew why. With that one word she’d crossed a line with Jeri from which she could never return.

 

Never once in their four years of working together did they speak of their past.

 

The phone ringing jarred Kate from her reverie. Sighing she reached across to the coffee table and checked the caller ID before picking up the receiver.

 

"Hello, Tim."

 

"Kate! How are you doing, dear?"

 

A lop-sided smile tugged at her lips hearing the term of endearment.

 

"Tim, there's really no need to call me such things anymore," she said teasing him.

 

"Nonsense!"

 

Kate knew Tim still harboured feelings for her and would resume their marriage in a more traditional sense if she gave even the slightest hint that was what she wanted. She didn't though and he understood that. Their parting was amicable and they were still best friends. They hadn't even bothered with a divorce since neither of them was interested in pursuing other relationships. They had an arrangement to put on the facade of wedded bliss when in public because it looked good for Tim's political career. Neither of them had a problem with the arrangement; it had actually been Kate's idea. She still loved him as a friend and at this stage in her life a marriage of comfort rather than passion suited her. Twenty years ago she never would have imagined she’d want such an arrangement but so much had changed during those years.

 

"So, how are you?" Tim persisted.

 

"Tired and annoyed with myself," Kate answered bluntly.

 

"Anything you care to talk about?"

 

"No, but thanks for the offer. Is there a specific reason you called or just to say hi?"

 

"Both. I did want to see how you were, but I've also called to ask a favour."

 

Kate smiled, she'd assumed as much and didn't mind at all. Whatever it was would give her a chance to get away from her own maddening thoughts for a while.

 

"Sure, how can I help you?"

 

"There's a large Democratic fundraiser taking place in L.A. in a few days. I was hoping you would accompany me."

 

_Nothing like a few political debates to suspend my mid-life crisis for a while._

 

"I'd be happy to. Would you like to me fly to Ohio and then fly with you to L.A. or just meet you there?"

 

"Why don't we fly over together?"

 

"Sure. When is it?"

 

"Tuesday."

 

She smirked, "You sure don't give a girl much notice, do you?"

 

"Sorry, I'd meant to ask you weeks ago but it just slipped my mind."

 

"It's no problem. It's a quiet time for me at the moment. I'll fly to Ohio Monday. Pick me up at the airport?"

 

"Of course. Thanks Kate, see you then!"

 

Hanging up the phone she looked up at the TV to see Jeri Ryan looking out of the screen back at her.

 

_Jeri's in L.A...._

 

_Yes and you are going to stay far, far away from her._

 

*****

 

Struggling to hold her head off the pillow Kate watched through a half-lidded, lustful gaze, as Jeri crawled up her nude body. Her head dropped back with a thud, a moan escaping her lips as she felt Jeri's hard nipple slide up her thigh. Raising her head again she only had enough time to watch as Jeri took hold of her own breast and manoeuvred it so that the nipple was rubbing on her already mercifully teased clit.

 

"God, Jeri, you're killing me!" she cried out, hoarse and raspy from the multiple times she had already screamed Jeri's name that night.

 

Her hips bucked suddenly against her will when Jeri replaced the nipple with her tongue, a yell erupting from her throat. She whimpered and thrashed, helpless under the minutes of Jeri's excruciating, sweet torture. When Jeri stopped Kate's head shot up off the pillow and a growl erupted from her throat.

 

"You are trying to kill me, aren't you!?" 

 

Kate's thoughts were again lost when Jeri was suddenly the rest of the way up her body and kissing her with a passion as raw and needy as their first time. Her hands glided down the young woman's back to her ass where she grabbed the firm cheeks, trying to pull Jeri impossibly closer.

 

Breaking the kiss, Jeri pushed herself up on both arms, staring down at the woman beneath her.

 

Staring back Kate felt the breath leave her body as the candlelight played across Jeri's form. 'Goddess' kept repeating in her mind until she heard herself finally say it aloud. The sight when Jeri threw her head back and laughed freely entranced Kate. A dazzling smile and heated blue eyes came back down to capture Kate's own.

 

Kate felt herself aching for this woman. She always ached for this woman. Since the first moment she laid eyes on her.

 

"Turn around."

 

Her voice was husky and demanding and Jeri did so immediately, instinctively knowing what Kate wanted.

 

Kate revelled in Jeri’s aroused shivers as she licked a slow path through Jeri's centre. Tasting Jeri she felt intoxicated. All rational thought quickly left her mind again. Plunging two fingers inside hot wetness she heard Jeri call out her name before the blonde head lowered to her own centre.

 

Jerking rudely awake Kate tried to get her bearings as she looked around her. 

 

"Nightmare?" Tim enquired from his seat next to her. 

 

_Of course, I'm on the plane flying to L.A. with Tim_. 

 

"Not exactly." 

 

Kate was relieved when Tim asked no further questions and went back to reading his paper. She wouldn't have given him any further information anyway.

 

_This has got to stop_! 

 

Her mind was never known for obedience however and she squirmed in her seat as she became aware of the wetness between her legs. Unconsciously licking her lips at the visual still in her mind she became aware of a taste in her mouth that she immediately recognized as Jeri.Stifling back a groan of frustration with herself she thumped her head against the back of the first class leather seat.

 

One of the stewardesses chose that moment to walk past and Kate grabbed her arm. 

 

"Double whiskey, neat."

 

A blonde head with blue eyes looked down at Kate and smiled her acknowledgement before moving on to fulfil Kate's request.

 

Kate did groan with frustration this time as the woman walked off.

 

_Typical. I get on the plane with a stewardess that looks like Jeri's twin sister._ She snorted in disgust with herself. _You are 51 years old. You should be past this._

 

Jeri's look-alike chose that moment to reappear with Kate's drink, bending over to place the drink in the holder attached to the seat. Kate could not help but get a full view of the woman's assets.

 

"Will that be all, Ms. Mulgrew?"

 

"Yes, thank you."

 

As soon as the woman turned Kate grabbed her whiskey and gulped down three quarters of the drink. Feeling as if someone was watching her she turned to Tim. Indeed he was watching her with what she knew to be his questioning look.

 

"I'm fine." Voice in perfect control.

 

Fixing her eyes on the TV screen in front of her she determined that she was not falling asleep again.

 

*****

 

Stepping from her shower Kate decided that she'd spend the night in her hotel room writing some poetry or possibly outlining more of her autobiography. Sliding into her Burgundy coloured robe she took a moment to appreciate the feel of it as it settled around her body. She adored the feel of silk.

 

A knock on her door caused her favourite cuss word to slip from her mouth before she grudgingly went to answer it.

 

It was Tim. He had a big grin on his face and Kate knew he had what he considered a good surprise for her.

 

"You have a surprise for me, don't you?" She asked dryly.

 

His grin grew larger before answering. "I do."

 

"Well, come in." She told him, stepping back so he could enter the room.

 

"No need. I need you to get dressed and meet me in the lobby in fifteen minutes."

 

Raising her eyebrow slightly she tilted her head to the left, a sign that he should provide more information if he expected her to adhere to his request.

 

"Well, I don't want to tell you too much, but I've got a dinner date set up for us and some old friends that you haven't seen in a while. Some friends you were talking about getting together with again soon if only you could find the time."

 

Kate smiled. Tim was a sweet man and normally she'd have been thrilled but at the moment her own emotions and thoughts were turning her inside out therefore she didn't really feel like catching up with Robert, Robbie, Tim and their respective spouses tonight. However, she didn't want to disappoint and Tim must have went through a lot of trouble to arrange it.

 

"Very well," she acceded, "I'll meet you in the lobby in fifteen minutes."

 

"You won't be sorry."

 

*****

 

Forty-five minutes later Kate was feeling very sorry and very, very nervous when their car pulled up outside of L.A.'s finest French cuisine restaurant, Ortolan. Owned by none other than Jeri Ryan and her fiancé Christophe Eme.

 

_Would faking a heart attack be completely out of the question?_

 

Shaking her head to dispel the ridiculous thought she wrapped her coat tightly around herself before opening the car door and stepping out into the night.

 

Tim was by her side a few moments later, taking her arm and escorting her into Ortolan. It was the first time she’d ever been there and she was surprised how comfortable and at ease she felt the moment she stepped through the doors. Considering who might be inside she expected to feel nothing but tense and nervous. The fact that she didn’t entirely feel that way was a testament to the atmosphere Jeri and Christophe gave the restaurant.

 

A waiter was quickly by their side and showing them to their table. Robert Picardo and Tim Russ were already present with their wives. Both men stood up upon seeing Kate and Tim, giving a quick handshake to Tim and a hug to Kate.

 

“Robbie just called me and said he and Carol were running ten minutes late,” Tim Russ said, explaining Robbie’s absence.

 

Sitting down at the table Kate tried not to look around the room too much. After all if Jeri was here did she really want to know? Did she really want to be faced with the woman again? Especially with the crazy thoughts she was having?

 

The six of them perused the menu and exchanged small talk for a short time until Robbie and his wife arrived. Then they ordered and caught up on each other’s lives while waiting for their meal.

 

Kate found herself having a great time despite being worried that Jeri might pop over to their table at any moment. She was a bit surprised that Robert, or Bob as his friend’s called him, didn’t mention her since she knew the two of them stayed in contact but she certainly wasn’t going to bring Jeri up and invite trouble.

 

“Good evening ladies and gentlemen. I hope you’re having a wonderful night and finding everything to be more than satisfactory?”

 

Turning slightly in her chair to address the waiter, Kate nearly dropped the glass she held, the waiter being Jeri’s fiancé, Christophe. Kate recognized him from the pictures she had seen of them together in magazines. 

 

“Christophe! It’s great to see you again!” Bob exclaimed, standing up and shaking his hand.

 

“It is lovely to see you again as well,” he responded in his thick, French accent. “It’s lovely to see you all again.” Addressing them all with his eyes and a soft smile, stopping when he came to Kate. “I don’t think I’ve had the pleasure of meeting you before Madame?”

 

Kate mentally shook herself and found her voice. “No, I haven’t had the pleasure. I’m Kate Mulgrew this is my husband, Tim. You are Jeri’s fiancé?”

 

“That is correct, Madame, a pleasure to meet you.”

 

“Is Jeri here?”

 

_What are you saying? Have you completely lost your mind!_

 

“Sadly, no, she is filming tonight. If you had come tomorrow instead you could have caught up with her as well.”

 

Kate tried to hide her disappoint that Jeri was definitely not anywhere in the restaurant.

 

# You should be glad!

 

“Filming Shark?” _Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!_

 

“Oui.”

 

“Is she well?”

 

_Would you shut up, woman! Put something in your mouth! Anything!_

 

“Jeri is very well, thank you for asking. When she comes home tonight I will tell her you all were here and send your regards. Now I must get back to the kitchen but I will try to stop by your table for a longer chat later. Bon appetite!”

 

Watching Christophe hurry back to the kitchen Kate wasn’t surprised when she felt a sharp stab of jealousy. She was imagining Jeri arriving home, gracing Christophe with a soft kiss and maybe more once they…

 

_Oh would you stop this! This is getting beyond the absurd! Now rein in your treacherous emotions and get some control back before you make an ass of yourself!_

 

Turning back to the table she noticed a few strange looks from her fellow dinner companions. Bob in particular was studying her closely with a raised eyebrow. They all thought they knew how she felt about Jeri; certainly her asking after the woman would cause them to wonder.

 

Flashing them all her best smile she asked Robbie about his latest work project, hopefully deflecting any questions before they could be asked. It appeared to work as the rest of the evening flew by without so much as one comment about her questions to Christophe.

 

After four hours of catching up with each other they all decided to call it an evening. Christophe never made it back to their table for a chat, for which Kate was secretly thankful, but he did bid them farewell making them all promise to come back soon. While Kate enjoyed the restaurant and the food thoroughly she knew she would never be coming back.

 

*****

 

Slipping into her car and shutting the door, Jeri sighed, trying to relax into the leather seat. She'd just finished a late night of filming and received a very strange call from Chris. It wasn't strange that he called. He often did. It was who he mentioned that was strange. A group of old cast mates from Voyager had come to Ortolan for dinner. That wasn't unusual in itself since many of them had been before but he mentioned one name Jeri never expected to hear. Kate Mulgrew. Not only had Kate and her husband been with the group but according to Chris, Kate asked him if she was there and if she was well. At first Jeri assumed Kate was asking if she was there because knowing Kate she would have left if she had been there. But then to ask if Jeri was well? That stumped her. When was the last time Kate gave a damn if she was well or not?

 

_A long time ago._

 

Memories stirred that Jeri had worked very hard to bury and she felt herself grip the steering wheel tightly in response.

 

A knock on her car window startled her and she jumped in her seat. Rolling down the window she smiled at one of her cast mates.

 

"You okay, Jeri? Everyone's pretty much gone and I just noticed you still sitting here."

 

"I'm fine, thanks."

 

"See you Wednesday then."

 

Starting her car while rolling her window back up Jeri turned on the radio to distract herself from thoughts and feelings that were not welcome in her life. Five minutes away from the studio lot she wished she'd never turned the radio on when "Separate Ways (Worlds Apart)" came over the airwaves. The old Journey song was one she had listened to repeatedly for months after her and Kate had parted seventeen years ago. She hadn't listened to it since then, hadn't even heard it on the radio... what were the chances that it would play now when Kate was fresh in her mind?

 

As the song played more memories surfaced from where she'd buried them and she was shocked by how many of them still hurt so deeply. Suddenly she didn't feel like going home.

 

Making a sudden decision she took an exit off the freeway and drove a short distance to a secluded beach she knew. Parking her car she quickly got out, slamming the door in frustration. Before she could clamp down on it, the door slamming and the smell of the salty, ocean air conspired to make another memory surface.

 

_"It's over Jeri."_

 

_It was the third time Kate had said those words yet Jeri still wasn't able to respond. She didn't know what to say. She was in shock. The woman standing before her didn't look like the woman she had just shared the best three months of her life with. Her expression was cold, cruel, completely devoid of any loving emotion._

 

_Jeri could only stare at Kate in disbelief until Kate finally looked away and started walking to her car. The sound of a wave crashing nearby and Kate's car door opening snapped Jeri out of her trance._

 

_"Wait!" She immediately hated how desperate she sounded, how needy._

 

_Watching Kate's back she noticed the woman sigh deeply before turning around and walking towards her again. When she stopped in front of her all Jeri found herself asking was 'why?'_

 

_"I told you when this all started that it was temporary. That absolutely nothing serious could come of our affair."_

 

_"You also told me you were only going to see me for the two weeks you were in L.A.! Those two weeks have well and truly come and gone! It's been three months! You’ve bent over backward to make sure we could still see each other! And what about the things you said to me last..."_

 

_"I was drunk last night! I don't even remember what I said.” Jeri swallowed hard as Kate cut her off and felt the knife twist more deeply into her heart. "And you're right, it was only supposed to last two weeks. I got carried away with you and for that I apologize; I shouldn't have let it go on so long. However, I told you that love was never going to be part of the equation."_

 

_Kate was cool, calm, in control. Jeri needed to make her feel._

 

_"You miscalculated!” Jeri took a deep breath trying to calm herself before continuing. “I’ve seen the love in your eyes…you said you loved me last night."_

 

_Jeri watched as Kate averted her eyes to the ground, struggling not to grab her chin and make the older woman look her in the eye._

 

_"I shouldn't have said that."_

 

_"But you did!"_

 

_"I don't love you."_

 

_"I don’t believe you."_

 

_Kate's head snapped up and she rolled her eyes while moving further away from Jeri._

_“Don’t walk away from me!” Advancing quickly on Kate, Jeri grabbed her arm and spun her around, making their gazes meet. Voice quavering Jeri pleaded, “Now say it to me Kate. Tell me you don’t love me. Don’t tell the gravel at your feet. Look at me and tell me!”_

_Holding Kate’s arm Jeri could feel Kate trembling, could see the emotions swirling in her dark blue eyes. Still the stubborn woman said nothing and Jeri knew that even though Kate held her gaze she wasn’t looking into her eyes._

 

_Grabbing Kate forcefully around the arms with both hands, Jeri implored her, "Damn it, Kate! Look at me! You can't just ignore what we have, what we both feel! I love you!"_

 

_Kate's eyes finally focused on her own as they widened in surprise._

 

_"I'm sorry I didn't say it back to you last night but I was afraid. If I'd known this was where we were going to end up though I would have said it to you a hundred times over. These last three months with you mean everything to me. You've changed me and I don't want you to walk out of my life. I need you!"_

 

_Jeri could see the beginnings of tears forming in Kate's shining blue eyes and felt a surge of hope that she had finally reached the woman she loved. Holding her breath she waited as Kate closed her eyes and breathed in deeply. All too soon Kate was pulling herself free of the younger woman's grasp._

 

_"No! I can't do this! This wasn't supposed to happen! This doesn't fit in with my life plan! I’m 34 with two children and a husband! I have responsibilities! You're only 21 years old for god’s sake! You’re just starting your life! I just cannot do this!"_

 

_Jeri felt each word like a kick in the stomach, but despite that she pressed on. She would not give up and quickly moved to stand behind Kate who had walked away from her and was looking out over the ocean. Carefully Jeri laid her hands on the shorter woman's shoulders, firmly pulling her back into her curves._

 

_She lowered her voice, trying for calm, rather than the begging she felt she wanted to do. "Tell me you feel nothing for me Kate, tell me you don't want to be with me."_

 

_Having the desired effect she heard a strangled moan escape from Kate's lips at the body contact. Before she could do or say anything further though, Kate pulled away roughly and spun on her. Jeri cringed as Kate thoughtlessly said the words that would brand her soul forever._

_"This is ridiculous! What we had was sex! It was fun but that's all it was! It meant nothing! Do you understand me?!"_

 

_Jeri's face paled and her eyes closed slowly as she absorbed the pain mere words caused her to feel._

 

_"No, you don't mean that... I lo…" Kate cut her off._

 

_"NO! I can't take this! I'm sorry Jeri, but it is over! Please don't contact me again."_

 

_Finally Jeri could no longer hold her tears back and a single droplet slid down her cheek, glittering in the sun. At the sight of it Kate turned away and stumbled to her car. Watching the dark blue vehicle pull away Jeri felt as if her soul was dragged and shredded on the pavement behind it, left to bleed and die alone. Not knowing when she finally moved, Jeri at last stumbled to her own car. Once she was safe in its confines the tears came. She had never cried so much or hurt so deeply in all her life._

 

Coming back to the present Jeri hastily wiped away an errant tear. That moment was still the most painful of her life, despite the things she'd been through since then. The two years of her life after that last meeting with Kate she tried so hard to forget the older woman. Studying, travelling, having stupid flings... nothing could erase Kate from her mind. So many times she asked herself why Kate? Why did the love of her life have to be someone so utterly unobtainable?

 

So often she would flip-flop between her love for Kate over-whelming her so much she could barely breathe to intensely hating the woman.

 

Eventually she met Jack Ryan and while she didn't love him the way she did Kate, she felt loved by him and that was enough. Or it was enough for a while anyway. In the end the only decent thing she'd taken from that relationship was her son.

 

Remembering her divorce from Jack reminded her of other events at that time in her life. Getting cast as Seven of Nine in Star Trek Voyager. The first time she was offered the part by her agent she was stunned into silence. She didn't have to read the cast list to know that Kate was the lead in the show. She had followed the woman's career. Immediately she turned down the part despite the exposure it would have brought her. Her agent couldn't understand her decision and between him and the Executive Producer, Jeri Taylor, she was constantly badgered to take it. Still, she kept refusing. It was only when she admitted to herself that her relationship with Jack was completely falling apart and she knew she needed to take the role. The fourth time Taylor asked her to reconsider her decision, she accepted.

 

During her preparation for the role she foolishly let herself hope that the damage between her and Kate could be repaired. They'd be working long hours together, surely a bridge would have to be built... and Kate had never said she didn't love her. Maybe, after nine years they could salvage what they'd shared.

 

She had no idea how wrong she was until she stepped onto the set that first day and was introduced to the cast.

 

Kate had stared daggers at her and only spoke to her out of professional courtesy. Still Jeri hadn't given up; still hoping time had helped to put things right between them. But then Kate came to her trailer one day and caught her in only a robe. Jeri saw in Kate's eyes during those first stunned moments what she had seen years ago, but then Kate was turning and fleeing. Jeri cornered her later that day to talk with her about what happened and it was only then she realized any hope she held out for the two of them for all these years was for naught. All she received from the woman was the now familiar cold gaze and one, hard word, ‘no’. Jeri didn't need to be told anything else. What she saw in Kate's eyes back in the trailer had been lust, pure and simple. After all, Kate never said she'd stopped desiring Jeri. It was the first time Kate made Jeri feel cheap and used. It was also the first time Jeri's hate for the woman overshadowed her love.

 

From that moment on Jeri never again let herself believe there could be anything between them. Somehow she got through the four years working with Kate and now, five years after filming ended for the last time, Kate asked about her.

 

_Why?_

 

The sound of her cell ringing left the question un-answered.

 

"Jeri, here." Her voice sounded tired.

 

"Jeri, it's Chris, are you okay? I expected you home by now."

 

The concern in Chris's voice pushed Kate's ghost into the back of her mind.

 

"Sorry, Chris. I got tied up with a few takes that had to be re-done. I'm on my way home as we speak. I'll see you soon."

 

"Drive safe, love you."

 

Closing her phone she sighed in disgust with herself. Someone who loved her was home waiting for her and what was she doing? Pulling over on the side of the road reminiscing about unrequited love.

 

_Forget about her, Jer. Forget about why she's asking about you. Go home and resume living your life without her in your head._

 

"What about my soul?"

 

The question echoed in the emptiness of the car for the remainder of the ride home.

 

*****

 

Kate woke up Wednesday morning feeling like shit. She'd drank too much at the fundraiser last night and then when all she wanted to do was get back to the hotel room and sleep, memories of Jeri plagued her. When she finally did get to sleep it must have been fitful because waking up now she felt as if she hadn't slept at all.

 

Originally today she and Tim had planned to leave. He was headed back to Ohio and she straight back to New York. However, yesterday morning Bob Picardo called and asked her if she and Tim would please stay for his birthday party on the weekend. Scheduling conflicts made it impossible for her to attend his party for the last couple years so she quickly agreed. Tim wasn't going to be able to attend due to commitments in Ohio on Friday and Saturday so Kate was driving him to the airport this morning to see him off.

 

Grudgingly getting out of bed she took a quick shower and threw on a pair of jeans with a casual blue shirt. Making some morning coffee Kate chuckled remembering the first time Jeri brought her breakfast in bed and how horrible the coffee had been.

 

_She shook and hastily put the carafe down before she dropped it. You still love her._

 

It wasn't the first time those words flashed through Kate's mind and she knew it wouldn't be the last time. Kate knew she still loved Jeri; she'd always loved Jeri. However whom she loved and what was expected of her was hardly the same thing.

 

Thinking back to the day she told Jeri it was over still caused her to feel physically ill. After driving away and just leaving Jeri standing there, Kate hadn't driven more than a mile before she pulled the car over to the side of the road and completely lost it. She could still remember the look in Jeri's eyes, the love. No one had ever looked at her in quite the same way since and she'd certainly never looked at anyone the way she looked at Jeri all those years ago.

 

_She's convinced you hate her, you know?_

 

"I know."

 

_Is that really the way you want to leave things?_

 

Kate began pacing and quickly raked her fingers through her hair. "It's been seventeen years."

 

_It's only been five since you last saw her._

 

Kate let out a sharp bark of sickened laughter. "I treated her even worse then... it's too late. Seventeen years is too long, there's been too much pain, too much hate. I sacrificed the love of my life for my career and family. I can't very well just waltz up to her now and expect her to understand."

 

_But she might..._

 

"No!" Kate dropped her head into her right hand, squeezing the bridge of her nose. "I've hurt her enough! Just because I'm suddenly having a hard time living without her doesn't mean I have the right to walk back into her life and screw her up again!"

 

_You've always had a hard time living without her._

 

"But I've repressed it, I've hidden it, I've ignored and avoided it for seventeen years. I will continue to do it."

 

_To save Jeri the anguish?_

 

"Yes!"

 

_Your logic is severely lacking._

 

"I'm having an argument with myself... logic obviously isn't my strong point right now."

 

Shaking her head, Kate picked up her coffee and moved to a chair by the window. She and Tim were staying at a hotel over looking the Pacific Ocean and Kate tried to sit down to relax with the view. Unfortunately the typically sunny L.A. day was in direct contrast with her dark, depressive mood. Instead of relaxing the view caused another memory of her time with Jeri to materialize before her eyes.

 

_Kate and Jeri walked hand in hand along the shoreline, both enjoying the soft feel of the sand between their toes. Just finishing a very late dinner both of them felt the need for some fresh air. Jeri happened to know a secluded beach off the beaten track and that is where they found themselves now._

 

_There was never a moment spent with this woman Kate did not enjoy. Since the day they’d met at a cocktail party Kate couldn’t get enough of the young acting major. Their relationship was dangerous, forbidden; yet Kate went out of her way to make sure it continued._

 

_Feeling eyes on her Kate turned to Jeri and found herself entrapped by an ethereal gaze._

 

_Both women stopped walking and turned towards each other, bodies sensing the shift in atmosphere before their minds caught up. Kate settled her left hand on Jeri's waist while her right one drifted higher to cup Jeri's cheek. Jeri closed her eyes at the touch, instantly melting under soft fingertips. Using her left arm Kate drew their bodies together until not even air could pass between them. Gently she guided the taller woman's lips to her own, hand slipping from cheek to tangle in soft hair. They'd kissed before, but this time when their lips met, something was different. Kate moaned as Jeri's tongue entered her mouth, intensifying their connection. Feeling Jeri's arms come around to encircle her back and pull them still impossibly closer together, Kate felt as though Jeri were not just kissing her lips but her soul._

 

_Something shifted._

 

_When the kiss ended minutes later Kate saw in Jeri's eyes what she herself felt. Their mutual lust and infatuation for each other had just transcended into love. In a matter of weeks Jeri Zimmerman had taken Kate's heart as her own and Kate was at a loss as to how to get it back._

 

_As Jeri lowered them onto the sand Kate admitted to herself she didn't want it back._

 

Kate still remembered with vivid clarity the feel of the lithe body on top of hers. Fingers trailing over her collarbone, between her breasts, gliding lower to slip under her pants where Jeri would only lightly touch her before removing her hand and running it back up Kate's body. A warm tongue flicking her nipple before full lips encircled, sucking strongly while teeth manipulated her hardened flesh.

 

Hearing her own moan, Kate snapped out of the trance-like state she found herself in and abruptly stood up.

 

"I need to get out of L.A."

 

*****

 

Jeri finished styling her hair and gave herself a quick once over in the mirror. Finally satisfied with her reflection she left the bathroom and emerged in her and Chris's bedroom.

 

"You look beautiful, Jeri," Chris commented, taking her hand and kissing the back of it.

 

"Thank you," Jeri smiled.

 

"The babysitter arrived five minutes ago and she and Alex are already playing video games together. Whenever you are ready we can go."

 

"We better get going then, we're already running late."

 

"If the traffic is not too heavy we shouldn't be too late."

 

Jeri gave a nod of agreement and Chris left the bedroom to go downstairs and get their coats. It was a warm night so it was doubtful they would need them but you never knew when a cool breeze might blow in from the ocean. Jeri walked to the bureau and opened the drawer with her jewellery in it. Choosing a few pieces she quickly threw them on. Making her way downstairs Chris greeted her and draped her coat around her shoulders, placing a soft kiss on her lips before stepping back.

 

"You are ready now?"

 

"Yes, let's go."

 

Leaving the house Jeri couldn't help but think about the kiss Chris gave her. There was something missing, something lacking. Jeri knew what the something was... this always happened to her every time Kate was on her mind and everyday since Wednesday she had been.

 

_You don't have the connection with anyone else you have with Kate._

 

I know.

 

"Are you okay, Jer? You look… lost."

 

The Frenchman's voice filled with concern making Jeri feel instantly guilty. Plastering on her best smile she replied, "Everything is great, Chris. Just a bit tired I think."

 

"Are you sure you want to go?"

 

"Yes. I couldn't make the party last year and I don't want to disappoint Bob again this year."

 

Chris accepted her explanation and started the car, pulling out into the dark night.

 

*****

 

Kate was onto her third drink when she saw Jeri enter the room. Barely restraining the impulse to spit the liquid out of her mouth she quickly set the glass down before she dropped it.

 

_This is not happening! I need to leave. I'll make up some explanation to Bob tomorrow but for now I need to get out of here._

 

Turning and heading straight for the back door she walked right into Bob Picardo.

 

"Kate! Sorry, I just walked around the corner and..."

 

"I'm fine, Bob," she interrupted, "but I have to leave. I just received a call from Ian and I have to..."

 

"Kate, stop. You're lying."

 

She looked at him aghast. "Excuse me?"

 

"I just got off the phone with Ian, literally one minute ago... just before Jeri walked in and that's really what this hasty retreat is about."

 

From the look on Bob's face Kate knew she wore a complete look of shock. Trying to recover she schooled her expression and went on the defensive.

 

"I have no idea what you're talking about! I didn't even know Jeri was here! And it hardly matters to me if she is or isn't anyway. No, we don't get along all that famously but it's certainly no reason for me -"

 

"You're babbling, Kate."

 

Bob was leaning against a wall, arms folded, looking smug. Kate wanted to slap him. She stopped talking and looked anywhere but at Bob. What could she say? How did he know? Had Jeri said something?

 

"I had more scenes on Voyager with you and Jeri than any of the other actors combined. I noticed the way you'd look at her when you thought she wasn't watching and I noticed her doing the same with you. Admittedly I never knew if my suspicions were correct but your behaviour since you've arrived in L.A. has confirmed it beyond doubt."   
  
Despite Kate feeling trapped she couldn't help but look at him with a raised brow.

 

"The night at Ortolan was the first big clue. You gave Chris the fifth degree about Jeri and later I saw you barely restraining yourself from speaking to him again. Then I called you last night... right when Shark was about to start and you told me you couldn't talk right now and you'd call me back in an hour. Tonight you've been enjoying yourself with the rest of the old gang until Jeri walks in and you nearly snort vodka out your nose."

 

Kate sighed, rolling her eyes.

 

"I'm not asking you for an explanation, Kate. But I am asking that you stay for my party... let nature take its course for once."

 

Smiling, Bob gave her shoulder a pat and walked in the direction she'd just left, probably to greet Jeri. Kate sagged against the wall knowing her carefully played facade had finally failed for at least one person.

 

She could still run for it... Gathering herself from her slumped position she prepared to do just that. Bob would understand eventually. Moving into the shadow of the hallway Kate glanced left to check no one was going to call to her when she glimpsed Jeri walking past. Instead of moving right Kate suddenly found herself moving left as if being pulled by a Siren's Song. Unconsciously staying in the shadows so as not to draw attention to herself she continued to move slowly forward until she spotted the tall blonde.

 

Wearing simple black jeans and a casual blue shirt Jeri looked stunning. Though honestly, Kate couldn't remember a time when Jeri didn't take her breath away. Kate leaned against the wall behind her, observing while Jeri chatted with Bob and Roxanne. Watching the blonde smile and laugh caused a small grin to form on her own lips. _What would happen if I just walked up and apologized to her?_

 

The thought was squashed as Chris, Jeri's finance, was suddenly by her side. He took her hand, brought it to his lips and kissed it before entwining both their hands. Kate was brought crashing back to reality with a sharp slap of jealousy. As Chris put his arm around Jeri, Kate tried telling herself she was being absurd. She just needed to leave and go back to New York. Back to a life where everything was in her complete control. 

 

Forgetting that she was hiding in the shadows, Kate stepped out of the hallway and grabbed a drink from the nearby table. Quickly drinking the contents down she turned around to walk down the hallway and out the back door when she suddenly found herself caught in a clear, blue gaze. She stopped in mid-turn, seeing first surprise, apprehension, curiosity and then indifference in Jeri's eyes.

 

*****

 

Seeing Kate, Jeri felt her already shaky foundation crack again. This was the absolute last person in the world she expected to see right now. She clamped down on her bubbling emotions and put on a mask of indifference. The last thing she wanted Kate to see was the effect she still had on her. Over the course of filming Voyager, Jeri became very skilled at hiding everything she felt from Kate. The older woman just as skilled in hiding things from her... except now. Jeri couldn't help notice Kate looking... shaken. The look of cold indifference no longer there, instead looking... conflicted.

 

Jeri removed her hand from Chris's and told him she'd be right back, never once taking her eyes off Kate.

 

*****

 

Kate stood rooted to the spot, swallowing hard as she watched Jeri’s approach. _What do I say? What does she want? Did Bob say something to her?_ Trying to order her tumultuous thoughts she told herself she was thinking with a guilty mind. Bob wouldn’t have said anything; she was simply conjuring worst-case scenarios. Her thought processes stopped completely five seconds later when Jeri was standing face to face with her, only three feet away.

 

“Hi Kate.” Jeri gave a smile that didn’t move to her eyes.

 

“Jeri,” Kate replied, “it’s been a long time.”

 

_Could I have said anything more asinine?_

 

“It has.”

 

An uncomfortable silence fell between the two women, each looking the other up and down. Assessing, appraising, evaluating and, as much as both would hate to admit it, admiring. Finally Jeri broke the mutual regard.

 

“I heard you were asking about me.” Her voice was strong with just a hint of hesitation, unsure if she should have said anything but needing to speak.

 

Startled but struggling to keep her expression impassive Kate began twisting her hands together. _Get out of here!_ Ignoring the voice in her head she finally responded with not an answer to Jeri’s question but a truth all the same.

 

“I was just about to leave. Why don’t I do that and we can avoid this, okay?”

 

Although she had phrased her words as a question Kate had not expected an answer. She expected Jeri would take it as the statement it was intended to be and they would both go their separate ways. She did not expect Jeri’s cutting retort.

 

“Oh, I see. You were just going to run away again.”

 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m not running from anything! I was just going to try to save us both from this exact situation!”

 

“More like you’re trying to save yourself from what could be an ugly scene.”

 

Jeri’s eyes flashed with resentment and Kate’s defences went up. Her voice dropped an octave.

 

“I should think you’d care about saving yourself from public embarrassment at this point in your career.”

 

“At least I still have a career.”

 

*****

 

Jeri couldn’t believe she’d just said that and wished immediately she could take it back. She couldn’t seem to control herself! Seeing Kate like this, so unexpectedly, and after how much she’d been thinking about her lately brought all her repressed emotions about the older woman to the surface.

 

Now angry, Kate let loose with her own cutting retort, “At least I never slept my way to the top.”

 

Jeri’s respiration picked up and her eyes glowed with anger at the derogatory comment. “No, you were always more of the user than the used, weren’t you? Just meaningless sex and fun, right?”

 

A second later Kate never got the chance to respond when Chris stepped up next to Jeri, placing his hand on her back, seemingly oblivious to the hostile atmosphere.

 

Turning to Chris, Jeri nearly snapped at him to give them a moment but instead realized where she was, what she was doing and snapped her mouth shut. _I can’t believe this woman can still piss me off so damn easily!_

 

“See, I told you Jeri is very well, did I not?” Chris was speaking directly to a stone-faced Kate who was now very still.

 

“You did. Excuse me, I have to use the restroom.”

 

Jeri snorted as Kate turned away from them, going back down the hallway to the bathroom. _How damn typical! At the first moment of opportunity she’s running. Why did I even bother coming over here!  She used me and ever since she’s only wanted me out of her life! Why after all this time can’t I just let go!_

“She’s abrupt, isn’t she?” Chris commented.

 

“You could say that. Let’s get a drink.” Jeri didn’t wait for a response before walking off.

 

*****

 

 Kate stood, hands braced on the sides of the sink, holding herself up, arms shaking with anger.

 

# How dare she! **Meaningless** sex and fun! How can she even think…oh god. Kate’s face paled as the memory slammed into her. Those were my words. Staring at herself in the mirror her resolve firmed. Okay, she thinks she’s got such a clear picture of the reality between us. I think it’s about damn time I shake that up!

 

Turning on the cold-water tap she placed her hands underneath it and splashed some water on her face. She roughly dried her face with a towel not bothering to reapply her make up. Not caring at the moment how she looked. Throwing the towel on the sink she yanked open the bathroom door and stalked down the hall to find Jeri.

 

Spotting the blonde talking to Garrett by the front door she marched across the living room. Garrett saw Kate coming and greeted her with a large smile, which he quickly wiped from his face when he saw her expression. Jeri turned to see where he was looking, her eyes sparkling. Immediately her gaze turned stormy upon seeing Kate.

 

“Garrett, would you please give us a moment?”

 

Feeling as though he was back in the middle of filming Voyager, he didn’t need to be asked twice.

 

When he was safely out of sight, Jeri turned on Kate. “Shouldn’t you be running out the door?” Jeri asked caustically.

 

Kate grabbed the younger woman’s elbow and pulled her close, causing their bodies to touch. Her heated gaze grabbed Jeri’s own and held it, their faces now only inches apart. Adrenaline and anger kept her ire hot.

 

Her tone was biting. “You think you have me completely worked out don’t you? You think you know exactly what I feel about you. You think I used you and now you think I hate you.” She took a deep breath. “Both things couldn’t be further from the truth.” Though her admission had come out more softly than she planned, her eyes continued to blaze hotly into Jeri’s own. “I never, _ever_ used you. Seventeen years ago meant more to me than you will ever possibly imagine. You have no idea how many nights the memories from that time have sustained me through some of the darkest years of my life.”

 

Breathless, Kate stopped for a moment, trying to regain control of her voice, which had risen with emotion. Jeri looked stunned, so stunned that Kate thought for a moment that if she weren’t holding her up the younger woman would need to sit down. Quickly she moved her hand from Jeri’s elbow to her shoulder, pulling the woman down to her own shorter height and putting her mouth close to her ear.

 

Both for the privacy and the vulnerability of her admission, Kate whispered urgently, “I asked about you at Ortolan because you’ve been on my mind constantly and I _care_ about you. I’ve always cared about you and I _always_ will. I have never for one moment hated you. Been terrified of you? Yes. But never hate. _Never_ that.”

 

Abruptly Kate pulled away and released her hold on Jeri, taking a few steps back. “I’m sorry you spent all these years believing those things.”

 

Kate studied Jeri’s face and seeing an acute pain in soft blue eyes, decided to say no more. She’d hurt this woman enough and couldn’t bear the thought of doing so any longer. She only hoped what she’d confessed would give Jeri some level of resolution with their past. Without saying another word she brushed passed Jeri and out the front door.

 

*****

 

Jeri stood motionless, stunned and disbelieving. Conflicting emotions swirled in her head and she reached out for something to steady herself. Finding only the front door handle she quickly let go of it, imagining irrationally she could still feel Kate’s hand grasping it. Light-headed, she slumped against the door, trying to make herself breathe regularly.

 

Feeling a hand on her shoulder she looked up into the warm eyes of Bob Picardo who looked at her with concern. “Jeri?”

 

Pushing herself off the supporting door she tried to smile but failed. “Excuse me,” she responded before nearly running to the bathroom.

 

Shutting and locking the door behind her she moved to the lone chair in the room and sat down on it, relieving her shaky legs of their burden.

 

What is she doing to me? Why is she doing this? She can’t mean those things. I’ve seen her eyes burning with hate for me and now she tries to tell me she’s never hated me, that it was fear… could it have been? **Was** it fear in her eyes, shadowed with so many insecurities and doubts that I mistook it for hate? Does she really care about me?

“No! I can’t do this!” Jeri yelled in frustration, a tear tracking down her cheek.

 

Angrily she rose and stood at the sink, commanding herself in the mirror.

 

“You will _not_ cry over this! _Not_ over this woman again! She’s ripped you apart enough! Don’t give her the opportunity to do it again!”

 

Turning on the cold water tap she rinsed her face, trying to wash her conflicting emotions down the drain and out of her life. Grabbing the towel sitting on the edge of the sink she began to dry her face with it when she smelled it. Chanel No. 5. Kate. The scent caused her head to spin, making her dizzy. She stumbled backward into the chair she’d been sitting in. Still holding the towel to her face she couldn’t stop herself from deeply breathing in the familiar scent. Before she could sort out all the memories flooding her mind, her body became racked with sobs. Clutching the towel to her stomach she let herself cry, knowing she was helpless to stop it. Irrationally her mind kept repeating Kate’s name as she rocked back and forth with her tears.

 

Some time later a knock on the door made her jump.

 

“Jeri, you okay?” It was Bob’s voice.

 

Choking back her tears she struggled to make her voice sound normal. “I’m fine, Bob.”

 

“I didn’t want to disturb you but Chris is looking for you.”

 

“Thanks. I’ll be right out.”

 

Grappling with still threatening tears she smothered them down and stood up to again confront herself in the mirror.

 

“Okay Jer, you’ve got to pull yourself together. Stop thinking about her. Dismiss her as she’s done to you so many times for so many years.”

 

Looking into her own blue eyes she knew it was doubtful she’d be able to do that.

 

*****

 

An hour later Jeri was home and in the bathroom getting ready for bed. Chris was downstairs paying the babysitter and seeing her off.

 

Stepping into a scalding shower Jeri exhaled sharply as the steaming water hit her body but quickly became acclimatized to it and sighed with relief. Rubbing soap slowly over her body she couldn’t stop the surfacing of a memory from seventeen years ago…

 

# “What a shit storm!”

_Jeri smirked at her friend’s curt description of the current weather. They’d just arrived at the local Hilton and were dripping wet from torrential rain outside. Jeri ran her hands through her hair, slicking it back out of her face and approached the front desk._

_“Zimmerman and Anderson,” she told the desk clerk. The boy looked up their names on the computer and handed Jeri both their keys since Sue Anderson was still standing in the middle of the lobby ringing her hair out._

_Jeri walked back to Sue and picked up her bags. “Our rooms are on the fifth floor. Let’s go up, have a hot shower, change our clothes and meet back down here in around two hours to grab some dinner.”_

_Sue stopped fussing with herself and picked up her bags, following Jeri to the elevators. “Sounds good. I’ll be glad to get out of these clothes. I can’t believe how wet it is out there! I say we just have dinner in the restaurant downstairs.”_

_Jeri laughed. “God Sue, you act like you’ve never experienced rain before!”_

_Sue made a face in response before changing the subject. “So, who was that woman you were talking with at the party?”_

_Instantly Jeri smiled, her face lighting up. “Kate Mulgrew.”_

_“I thought so. She’s standing in the bar right now watching you.”_

_Jeri had just pushed the button for the elevator and hearing Sue’s statement dropped one of her bags and spun around to the bar area. Sure enough, Kate Mulgrew was standing just inside the entrance, watching Jeri. When she saw Jeri look at her, she smiled before taking a drink from the glass in her hand._

_Jeri swallowed convulsively, jumping when Sue nudged her. “Elevator's here, Jer, grab your bag and let’s go.”_

_“Uh, right.” Turning she picked up her bag and entered the elevator, giving one last look toward Kate. The older woman raised her glass at Jeri as the elevator doors slid shut._

 

_“You like her.”_

_Startled, Jeri turned to face Sue. “I do not! No, I mean I do, she’s a very nice woman.”_

_Sue smirked. “Yeah, right.”_

 

_Jeri scowled. “God, Sue! Not everything is about sex!”_

_Sue laughingly replied, “Of course not, but this is. You two were stuck like glue to each other at that party and the vibes coming off both of you were intense! Not to mention the look she was giving you from that bar… she wanted to eat you alive!”_

_“Sue!” Jeri exclaimed, smacking her friend on the arm. Sue just laughed harder and stepped out of the elevator as it arrived at the fifth floor._

_“Hey, anyone can see it if they care to look! You two were like moths to a flame the moment you laid eyes on each other. I was there, I saw it for myself. I have never seen two people have such immediate chemistry together.”_

_Jeri said nothing and walked down the hallway towards their rooms. She didn’t know what to say because she had felt exactly what Sue was describing. Never in her life had she been so drawn to someone as she was to Kate Mulgrew. The two had laughed and joked all night talking about their lives and ambitions. When the evening ended Jeri wanted very much to ask for Kate’s number. Not in any romantic way. She wasn’t going to approach a married woman no matter how connected she felt to her or how much Kate had flirted with her. She wanted to keep in touch though, to keep Kate in her life even if only sporadically. In the end she’d said nothing though and the two had parted with a hug. Jeri could still feel the impression of Kate’s body pressed into hers and she shivered._

_Arriving at her room she told Sue she’d come over to her room in two hours and the two parted company. Jeri entered her room, immediately dropping her bags and began to strip off her wet clothes. When the last article of clothing was finally removed she picked up one of her bags and tossed it onto the bed to get out some clean clothes. Laying them out on the bed she grabbed her toiletries and headed for the bathroom._

 

_Moving to the shower she turned it on, adjusted the temperature and stepped inside, closing the glass door behind her. Immersing herself under the cascading water she sighed with delight. Idly she wondered if Kate would still be down at the bar by the time she arrived down there. Probably not since that was a good two hours away._

_Why wait? Go down there as soon as you’re done here._

 

_She snorted at her internal voice, finding it sounded a lot like Sue. “No, I’m not going down there any earlier. If she’s still there when I get down there, so be it, if not then it wasn’t meant to be.”_

_Not really satisfied with her resolution she set about washing her hair with gusto, trying not to think about the petite woman with auburn hair and dark blue eyes._

_Ten minutes later she stepped out of the shower and wrapped herself in one of the hotel’s large, white towels.  Moving out of the steamy room she took no more than three steps before she stopped dead, rendered utterly speechless by the vision sitting in the chair by the window._

_“Kate,” Jeri breathed out in a whisper._

_Kate quickly stood and blurted out, “I told the desk clerk I was a friend who hadn’t seen you in years and wanted to surprise you.”_

_Jeri noticed Kate fidgeting with the key in her hand, her eyes moving from Jeri back to the door and back to Jeri. She’s nervous. In spite of her bravado at walking straight into my room she’s barely resisting the urge to run right out again._

_Jeri didn’t want her to leave. “You’ve certainly succeeded in surprising me.”_

_“If you don’t want me here…”_

_“No!” Jeri cut her off. Kate looked at her in alarm._

_“I mean, no I don’t want you to leave,” Jeri clarified._

_What are you doing? Do you think this will really end in anything other than misery?_

_Jeri pushed the thought aside._

_Hesitatingly but attempting to project confidence she moved toward the older woman until they were only a few feet apart. She caught Kate’s darting gaze and held it, feeling her breathing start to increase at the desire she saw there. Finally Kate stopped fidgeting and tossed the spare key onto a nearby table._

_“I know I shouldn’t be here but… I want to be,” Kate explained, her voice dropping to a deeper, huskier timbre on the last four words._

_“I want you here,” Jeri responded, her own voice coloured with desire._

_Jeri knew they should talk, discuss what was happening between them, but standing so close to Kate there was only one thing she wanted to do right now. What she’d wanted to do all day. Stepping closer she raised her hand to touch Kate’s cheek, moving her fingers lightly over it before cupping it. She could see Kate’s chest rise and fall faster as her respiration increased. Moving her head slowly she lowered it toward the shorter woman’s waiting mouth, both women moaning when warm, soft lips melted together._

_Kate raised her arms, wrapping them around Jeri and pulling the taller woman to her body. Jeri responded by moving her hand from Kate’s cheek to the back of her head, tangling in her hair, while she wrapped her other arm around Kate._

_Moving her tongue over Kate’s lips she was immediately granted entry and when she entered Kate’s mouth, head spinning, she tightened her grip on the shorter woman and welcomed the tumultuous sensations._

 

_Both women finally separated when they backed into the wall, Kate letting out a small “oomph” on impact. Pulling back and meeting Kate’s gaze again, Jeri could feel the desire and lust radiating from passionate blue eyes. Moving her hand from Kate’s head she began to slowly unbutton the older woman’s shirt, enjoying every inch of flesh revealed to her hungry eyes. Kate’s hands were moving over her back, encouraging her. When the last button was undone Kate straightened her arms as Jeri pushed it off slim shoulders, the shirt sliding off and dropping to the floor. Hands grasped Jeri’s head, pulling her down for another searing kiss._

_Kate pushed off the wall and guided them in the direction of the bed. Jeri turned sharply when she felt the bed against the backs of her legs, switching positions with Kate. The two women fell onto bed, legs tangling together as Jeri’s hands moved to find the clasp on Kate’s bra._

_Breathlessly Kate broke the kiss. “Jeri, I’ve never done this before…” Jeri’s eyes were clouded over with passion and she didn’t catch on until Kate clarified, “with another woman I mean.”_

_Jeri smiled reassuringly, “It’s okay. I have. Just let go, let your instincts guide you. I’ll show you the rest.”_

Kate smiled suggestively at her, replying, “I think I can do that.” And then proceeded to undo the knot keeping Jeri’s towel on, throwing it to the floor. Kate’s eyes traced over Jeri’s body, admiring every curve. Jeri felt as though the gaze was heating her.

The shower door opening yanked Jeri from her daydream, slamming her firmly back into the present; flustered she yelled out the intruder’s name, “Chris!”

Chris smiled, “Sorry I startled you. Thought you might like some company.” Putting his hands on her shoulders he tried pulling her to his naked form but met with resistance.

“Chris, I really don’t feel like that in here,” she told him, squirming out of his grasp. She quickly moved around him and out the shower door before he could question her, grabbing her robe and exiting the bathroom.

 

Jeri breathed a sigh of relief when Chris didn’t follow but instead continued taking his own shower. Slipping on a pair of boxers and a t-shirt she slid into the king size bed and tried to stop the thoughts of Kate running through her mind. When Chris emerged from the bathroom five minutes later she closed her eyes and hoped he would think she fell asleep. She cursed silently a minute later when she felt his hands start to move down her back. _Damn! Maybe if I just lie here…_ When she felt his hand start to move under the waist of her boxers she knew she wasn’t going to be so lucky.

 

Carefully she reached around and removed his hand, yawning and faking sleepy eyes as she turned to face him. “I’m sorry Chris, I’m so tired. Can we just go to sleep tonight?”

 

He didn’t try to hide his disappointment but relented. Jeri could tell she’d pissed him off but she didn’t really care right now. She only felt relief when he turned over to his side of the bed and within five minutes was asleep.

 

This is crazy, Jer! He is your fiancé! You love him! What the hell are you doing? Are you really going to let her ruin the life you’ve built based on **one** encounter!

 

Jeri could only think that she’d prefer her newly built life with Kate in it. It’s what she’d always wanted. She’d never stopped wanting that but a long time ago faced reality that it would never happen. After Kate’s confession tonight it made her think again.

 

She didn’t say she loves you. She said she cares about you. Remember that. There’s a big difference and in your heart you don’t even believe that she does care. It’s nice to reminisce about the good times you had with her but don’t forget her parting comments to you, how easily she dismissed you or the way she’s treated you since. Don’t let your emotions rule you again. You can’t trust her. That is the only thing she’s ever proven to you.

 

Jeri couldn’t argue even though she desperately wanted to.

 

*****

 

Kate lay drunk in her hotel bed thinking of her encounter with Jeri. The image of Jeri’s shocked features was burned in her mind. She’d not intended to tell Jeri those things, yet now that she had she didn’t regret it. All she felt was great relief at finally having given Jeri the honesty she deserved. Kate wasn’t sure what could come of it though, probably nothing. She’d let the great love of her life slip through her hands a long time ago. Let responsibility, fear and her driving need to put her career before anything else take Jeri away from her. She spent all these years wasting her time with socially acceptable stand-ins, knowing none of them would ever make her feel what Jeri made her feel. What the woman could _still_ make her feel with just a look.

 

However, what good her admissions did now she wasn’t sure. What she was sure of was that Jeri would never trust her again. One confession of words did not make up for seventeen years proving with action the exact opposite.

 

“And do you truly understand what a life with Jeri would mean?”

 

Kate shifted restlessly at her own whispered words. Did she understand? Did she know what it would mean to the life she already had? To her family? Her sons? How accepting would they be? She couldn’t very well hide it from them. She wished she didn’t care, but she did. Family was important to her. It had been one of the main reasons she previously cut off the relationship with Jeri. Was she really ready to walk up to them, hand in hand with Jeri and introduce the woman as her partner?

 

A warm feeling built in her stomach and quickly consumed her at the thought. _Yes._ Surprised at such an intense reaction from the mere thought of having Jeri as her partner Kate shifted in the bed, thrashing at the covers. _Shit! I never should have come to L.A.!_ Falling back on years of routine and safety Kate tried shutting Jeri out of her mind. _I’ve lived this long without her; I’ll continue to do so._

 

 

Ten hours later Kate was sitting in the waiting area at LAX to board her flight back to New York. Studiously she forced thoughts of Jeri out of her mind. She would board this flight and resume her life.

 

_“Passengers may now begin boarding for flight 241 to New York City,”_ a female voice spoke over the intercom.

 

Kate stood from her seat, picking up her bag and walked toward the entry gate. She took no more than three steps before a voice in her head said, _“Don’t do this!”_ and memories of Jeri washed over her. Jeri laughing. Jeri smiling. Jeri crying. Jeri dancing, touching, moaning, yelling. The barrage of images had no order and Kate found herself dizzied by the onslaught of emotions surging within her.

 

_I can’t leave. I can’t._

 

Stopping dead she half apologized as someone behind her bumped into her before turning around and walking toward the exit and out the airport doors. Taking a deep breath of fresh air she smiled into the sun as she thought _I am hopelessly in love with Jeri Ryan._ The heat on her face warmed her and she could feel the fear melt away as she finally embraced the words that could change her life. _I won’t run again._

 

Getting into one of the many taxis waiting for busy travellers she instructed the driver to take her to the Hilton. She was staying. It was time to show Jeri she was ready to back up her words with action.

 

*****

Jeri was floating in that languid space between dreaming and reality. She and Kate had just shared an amazing evening of lovemaking. Feeling warmth behind her she turned over and scooted close to it. The warm body turned around, gathering her into hard, muscled arms. Jeri’s eyes snapped open. A bare, hairy chest looked back at her, a far cry from the soft breasts in her mind’s eye. Body tensing, she froze. Instinctively she wanted to jerk away but instead stayed perfectly still, not even breathing and feeling entirely confused.

 

A moment later Chris rubbed his hands up and down her back and then she felt his lips on her neck. Not thinking about the consequences but only wanting to stop, she pushed him away and rolled out of bed.

 

“I’m not in the mood!” she snapped, moving toward the bathroom.

 

“What’s the matter with you?” Chris demanded, sitting up. “Ever since Bob’s party last night you’ve been acting strange! You disappeared for ages into the bathroom, were deathly silent on the ride home, didn’t want to shower together, dressed in boxers and a t-shirt for bed and don’t want to make love!”

 

Turning back to him she bit out, “I was tired last night and this morning I have to be at the set within an hour, I don’t have time.” Resuming her path to the bathroom she stopped just before the entrance, whirling on Chris to add sharply, “And what the hell is wrong with boxers and a t-shirt?”

 

Chris jumped out of bed, yanking on a pair of jeans.

 

“You have never worn such clothes to bed in the entire time we have been together!”

 

Jeri rolled her eyes. “This is ridiculous. I don’t have time to argue with you just because you’re pissed off about not getting any!”

 

Not waiting for a reply she stormed into the bathroom, slamming the door behind her. Chris said nothing further but silently fumed as he pulled on the rest of his clothes before going downstairs to the kitchen.

 

Twenty minutes later Jeri arrived downstairs dressed in jeans and a shirt; when she got to the set she’d be rushed off to wardrobe to change into one of Jessica’s power suits. Her son Alex had already left for school. She’d said goodbye to him when he came upstairs to the bedroom to see her earlier. Chris sat at the kitchen table eating breakfast and having morning coffee. He said nothing to her and she said nothing to him. Right now she didn’t know what to say; she needed time to think away from everything. Deciding to skip her morning coffee she grabbed her purse, cell phone and headed toward the front door.

 

“No goodbye kiss?” Chris remarked mockingly.

 

Jeri turned around, saw the sarcastic expression on his face, made a scoffing noise and walked out the door. Hearing the clattering of silverware hitting the floor she knew Chris had just thrown his spoon across the kitchen.

 

Getting in her car she started it up, hit the button on her remote to open the gates and hastily pulled out of the driveway.  Angrily she asked herself what the hell was wrong with him as she hit the freeway heading to the studio.

 

You’re what’s wrong with him.

 

“Nothing’s wrong with me!” she shouted to empty air.

 

Everything is wrong with you right now. You’ve let her completely fuck you up.

 

Jeri sighed in anguish, feeling the rightness of that statement. One heartfelt speech from Kate saw her now wholly losing her grip. All these years she’d dealt with her unresolved emotions for Kate by burying them. They’d been resurrected when she’d joined the Voyager cast but a curt “no” from Kate had her burying them even deeper than before. Then Voyager was over, Kate again out of her life. No reason for her to ever enter it again… yet Kate did just that with no obvious reason other than she wanted to. That she cared.

 

Jeri remembered the hurt expression that came briefly to Kate’s features when she had referred to their affair as meaningless sex before she covered it with a stony one. She remembered the way Kate’s eyes shone with emotion when she unequivocally told Jeri that she had never hated her. The way they were shadowed by darkness when she told her their time together had seen her through some of the hardest years of her life. The openness in them when she confessed she had been thinking about Jeri constantly. The vulnerability when she admitted to being terrified of her.

 

The confessions warmed a part of Jeri she thought frozen forever but confusion still remained. Why was Kate terrified of her? Why had she been thinking about her constantly? Where was she now? Was she still thinking about her?

 

“What the hell am I supposed to do?” Jeri asked the emptiness of the car. Her emotions hadn’t felt this raw in a very, very long time. “What does Kate expect to come of this? She’s married; I’m engaged. Is she only telling me this out of guilt? Does she just want to set things right or does she still feel something for me? Is she going to contact me? Does she expect me to contact her? This is crazy!”

 

Jeri slammed her hands on the steering wheel, causing the car to swerve slightly and the driver behind her to honk their horn. “Shit!”

 

Trying to gain some semblance of control over her chaotic emotions she turned the radio on hoping to clear her mind with some music. A song came on she recognized and she automatically started humming along with the opening chords. She sang along with the first couple stanzas but only one line into the third choked on the words, recognizing them reflecting her current state of mind.

 

I finished crying in the instant that you left  
And I can't remember where or when or how  
And I banished every memory you and I had ever made

But when you touch me like this  
And you hold me like that  
I just have to admit  
That it's all coming back to me

When I touch –

 

Jeri lashed out, turning the radio off. The song hit too close to home. If she continued listening she felt sure she’d end up a road statistic.

 

“This can’t be happening to me,” she said helplessly, making the rest of the drive in silence.

 

*****

Kate tightly gripped the steering wheel of her rented Mercedes as she pulled up behind a small truck, waiting to gain entrance to the CBS studios. She tried to relax but failed as she had failed all day. Waking up this morning she had felt more energized and free than she had in a very long time. Now that she’d finally discarded her fear and doubt she felt giddy with the warm feelings that infused her every time she thought of Jeri. However, now faced with actually seeing Jeri again she felt that fear and doubt in a whole new way and she swallowed against the nausea in her stomach.

 

She had no idea how Jeri had taken what she’d said to her last night. _God, was it really less than 24 hours ago that I said those things?_ Now she was fearful Jeri would not even afford her the time to listen to what else she had to say. More than that she was terrified if Jeri did afford her the time she would monumentally fuck up what she wanted to say. _You cannot blow this. If she gives you the chance you have to get it right. For once._

 

Finally it was her turn at the security booth and she gave her name, looking around the part of the lot she could see while the guard checked her clearance to visit. Early this morning when she had the brainstorm to visit Jeri at the lot she called a friend at Paramount and arranged access.

 

“You can go ahead, Ms. Mulgrew,” the young guard said as he opened the gates for her.

 

“Can you tell me on what stage Shark is currently being filmed?”

 

“Studio 5. Drive straight ahead, then make a right at the first turn off, drive another 300 feet or so and you should come to the building. It has studio 5 written on it.”

 

“Thanks,” she said, offering a small smile before following his directions.

 

Only a hundred feet from the building she pulled the car to a stop. Her palms were sweating and the nausea increased. Taking a deep breath she gave herself a pep talk.

 

“You can do this. You _want_ to do this. You _need_ to do this. Jeri is in that building and you are going to march up to her- no, not march, you are going to gently approach her and ask for a moment of her time. If she dismisses you with a dirty look, you will _not_ run away. You will try again and again if necessary until she agrees to speak to you. Speak to her softly, gently. Let her hear the love in your voice; don’t hide it out of fear of rejection. Do _not_ fuck this up!”

 

Not really feeling a hell of a lot better but with determination intact, she resumed the short journey and parked her car. There was no activity outside the studio so Kate surmised a scene was currently being filmed. Walking to the door she carefully opened it, quietly slipping inside. She was right, she could hear James Woods giving a monologue now and turning the corner she saw to whom he gave it. Jeri.

 

She’s beautiful.

 

Kate looked around, spotting a large pillar and silently slipped behind it. No one as yet had seen her and she wanted to keep it that way. She would reveal her presence when she felt ready. For now she peered around the pillar watching Jeri, trying to stop her hands from shaking. There had been only one other time in her memory she could recall being so nervous about speaking to someone…

 

“What can I get for you?” the bartender asked.

_“Vodka Tonic,” a sultry voice replied._

_Expertly fixing the drink he handed it to her and she moved off to stand at the entrance to the bar. Kate felt restless and keyed up. The entire day she’d spent in the company of the most beautiful, intelligent, charming woman she’d met in a long time. The woman was only twenty-one but nothing about the way she conducted herself or spoke made you think so. The moment Kate laid eyes on her she felt an irresistible pull toward the woman. It wasn’t the first time she’d raised her brow at a female but it was the first time she’d actually been unable to resist temptation._

_Kate was an actress in Hollywood, married with two young boys. Superfluous attractions to anyone, but especially females, were something she couldn’t afford to indulge in. Yet she couldn’t help herself, introducing herself to the young woman and immediately hitting it off with her. Over the course of two hours her attraction to the woman became more than superfluous and by the end of the cocktail party another two hours after that, she was more than smitten._

_Resisting the urge to ask the woman for her phone number she’d instead given her a farewell hug and wished her all the best. Even now she could still feel the delightful feminine curves pressed against her body._

_Shivering Kate looked over from one of the hotel’s water features to two people running inside out of the rain. They were drenched from head to toe, one of them promptly cursing the storm raging outside. As Kate’s gaze settled onto the taller of the two her breath caught, her posture going rigid._

_Jeri Zimmerman._

_The woman with whom she’d spent the day. The woman who’d captured her attention in a way no one else ever had._

_Kate swallowed hard as Jeri flicked her wet hair back, running her fingers through it before approaching the front desk. Taking a drink from her glass Kate debated what to do. She could call out to her, gain her attention, and maybe have dinner with her? Get to know her more. Or you could just shut up._

_Kate took a longer drink, staying quiet but observing. When the two women made their way to the elevators Kate felt like a deer caught in the headlights when Jeri suddenly swung around and looked right at her._

_Her acting training kicked in and she smiled before taking another drink. She needed it. She needed plenty of drinks. Jeri smiled back causing Kate’s heart to skip a beat. Jeri gave one last look in Kate’s direction; Kate raised her glass to her. When the elevator doors shut Kate slumped against a stone pillar and moved the glass to her mouth only to find it empty. Turning back to the bar she ordered another, greedily slamming more than half of it back when it arrived._

_Her hormones were raging. This is ridiculous! No one has ever affected me like this before. Something must be wrong with me. She tried to sit at the bar and think about something else, anything else and failed miserably. All she could think about was what it would be like to kiss those full lips._

_An idea suddenly seized her and before she could think about the ramifications she paid for her drinks and hurried to the front desk. A couple minutes later she had a key in her hand for Jeri Zimmerman’s room. Then she was in the elevator going up to the fifth floor._

_What are you doing? You’re married with children. She’s twenty-one and more than that she is a **she**. _

_Kate shoved the thoughts aside, concentrating on Jeri. Whatever consequences her actions had she would deal with later. Right now all she wanted, all she **needed** , was to be with Jeri. She stood trembling with fear for minutes outside Jeri’s door before finally inserting the key, turning the knob and entering what would become the most satisfying, unsurpassed time of her life. _

 

“CUT!”

 

The word snapped Kate out of her reverie and she refocused her eyes. Kate briefly thought of the warm reception she’d received from Jeri seventeen years ago when she’d entered her hotel room. She knew it wouldn’t be nearly so easy this time.

 

Woods said something to make Jeri laugh before he moved off. Kate took a deep breath, gathered her courage and took a step to move from her hiding place. A familiar man approaching Jeri made her stop cold. Christophe Eme.

 

With a large smile he took Jeri into his arms, hugging her tightly before drawing back to speak with her. Kate stumbled back behind the pillar, feeling jealous but also more unsure of herself.

 

What am I doing? That man loves her. She loves him and I’m going to take it upon myself to march down there and screw it all up for her? Do I really have the right to throw her entire life into chaos again because of my own feelings? Am I being selfish in my desire to pursue her? Am I putting myself first again and not really thinking about Jeri?

 

The very idea that she might be doing that was enough to make Kate second guess herself. This was supposed to be about putting Jeri first and if there was even the slightest possibility she wasn’t doing that then she had to step back. She had to re-evaluate. Not entirely sure she was doing the right thing but having the vision of Jeri in Chris’s arms firmly in her mind, Kate chose to leave without speaking to her.

 

*****

 

The laughter from Woods’s joke quickly died away when Jeri saw Chris approaching, her body tensing. It was rare he ever came to the set and after this morning she was surprised to see him here now.

 

“Ma Cherie,” he began, a large smiling on his lips, “You look beautiful.”

 

Surprised by the transformation in his attitude Jeri tried to accept the hug he gave her.

 

He pulled back, holding her hands. “I’ve come to apologize. I have been acting like a spoiled baby. Come have lunch with me?”

 

Relieved he was not here to fight Jeri automatically apologized as well. “I’m sorry too, Chris, I have been… out of sorts since Bob’s party.”

 

He looked at her with concern, “Did something happen there?”

 

“I had a… confrontation with someone I haven’t seen in a while.”

 

“Do you wish to talk about it?”

 

“No,” she replied, a bit too quickly causing Chris to frown at her.

 

“Jeri, you would tell me if there was something wrong, no?”

 

“Of course,” she lied, putting on a fake smile. “It was nothing, let’s go have some lunch.”

 

She hated herself for lying but what could she say to him? How could she discuss the turmoil she felt over her feelings for an ex-lover with her husband-to-be? She couldn’t.

 

Emerging from the studio Jeri squinted against the bright sun, swiftly retrieving sunglasses from her purse. Putting them on she looked up just in time to see a black Mercedes pulling away. Not knowing whom the car belonged to she tried to get a glimpse of the driver before the car gained speed and was out of sight. What she thought she saw caused her to stop walking.

 

Chris turned around when he realized she was no longer beside him. “Jeri?” When she didn’t answer but only stood frozen he repeated more insistently, “Jeri!”

 

“Sorry!” she responded, sounding as if she was coming out of a trance. “I thought I’d forgotten something. Let’s go.”

 

Nearly running the rest of the distance to Chris’s car, the man hurried to catch up.

 

“Are you sure you’re okay?” he asked, again finding her behaviour strange.

 

“Yeah, I’m fine. Let’s go. I’m starving!”

 

Feeling like he was in the Twilight Zone, Chris said nothing more, instead choosing to just do as Jeri said. When they stopped at the gate behind a white BMW, Jeri further caused him to raise his eyebrow when she jumped out of the car without a word and sprinted over to the security booth.

 

“Mike, can you do me a favour?”

 

“Sure, Ms. Ryan,” the young man answered, obviously smitten with her. 

 

“Can you tell me who was driving the black Mercedes that was just in here?”

 

“Sure.”

 

Jeri held her breath while Mike retrieved the vehicle logs.

 

“Kate Mulgrew.”

 

The air she’d been holding left suddenly in a whoosh and she grabbed the front of the booth to steady herself.

 

“You’re sure?” she asked shakily.

 

“Of course. Why? Was there a problem with her?”

 

“No. No, not at all. Thanks, Mike.”

 

Jeri walked back in a daze to the car where Chris waited and slowly got in. As soon as she was in the seat she slumped down, putting her head in her hands.

 

“Jeri, what’s wrong?” Chris asked with genuine concern.

 

A dazed Jeri looked up at him, “I don’t feel too well.” She said nothing more; she didn’t know what to say.

 

Chris’s expression reflected the confusion he felt. A moment ago Jeri looked and sounded perfectly fine, now she looked decidedly pale. “Let’s skip lunch. I’ll take you home. Take the rest of the day off. They’ll have to film the scenes you’re not in.”

 

Jeri made no protest.

 

*****

 

Jeri stood looking out the window through the sheets of rain that had suddenly decided to pour down on L.A. Sipping from her glass of water she kept trying to make sense of the abrupt turn her life had taken. When she first arrived home from the set of Shark she’d immediately gone into the bathroom, away from Chris, to compose herself. Questions rained down upon her. Why had Kate said those things to her at Bob’s party? Why had she now come to see her at the studio only to end up leaving without speaking to her? What sick, twisted game was Kate trying to play?

 

She feared believing Kate was genuine with her words at Bob’s party. She couldn’t deal with facing that pain again. So after pondering the situation for an hour, that is exactly what Jeri decided this to be. A game. For what reason Kate was choosing to fuck with her mind she didn’t know, but she damn well intended to find out.

 

Jeri welcomed the surging anger as well as the adrenaline accompanying that anger. It was preferable to the constant confusion and loss of control she’d been feeling for the last few days. _I need to find Kate and confront her._ She thought for a moment about where Kate might be staying in L.A. but the choices were far too vast for her to call around to hotels asking. They wouldn’t give out that type of information anyway.

 

An idea came to her and she reached for the phone, dialling Robert Picardo’s number.

 

“Picardo residence.”

 

“Hi Bob, it’s Jeri,” she replied, masking her anger with a smile.

 

“Jeri! How are you? Are you feeling any better?”

 

“I’m will be. Listen, I had an unexpected visitor at the set today.”

 

“Oh?”

 

“Yeah. Kate came by, but she left before I could talk to her. She and I have a conversation to finish from your party the other night. Do you think you can tell me what hotel she’s staying in so I can call her?”

 

After an unusual silence Jeri prodded him again. “Bob?”

 

“She’s at the Hilton in downtown, room 1701. You know the one, overlooking the ocean?”

 

“Yes, I’m familiar with it. Thanks, Bob.”

 

“I hope you two are able to work it out. Take care, Jeri,” he told her and then hung up.

 

Jeri looked at the phone oddly for a moment before hanging it up. _What a strange thing for Bob to say._

 

She had other things on her mind though and quickly forgot the comment as she jogged down the flight of stairs. Thankfully Chris had left twenty minutes ago to go into Ortolan so she wouldn’t have to add this as more odd behaviour to explain to him. She took her leather jacket off the hook and put it on to give some protection against the rain. Picking up her keys she was out the door, not giving herself time to really think about what she was doing. Jeri was going to the Hilton. This situation was ending now.

 

*****

 

Kate paced the floor of her Hilton hotel room. She’d been doing so since she returned forty minutes ago. After leaving the studio she’d driven aimlessly for a while lost in thought but decided to head back to her room after nearly running up the back of a large Bronco. Now, with vodka and tonic in hand, she paced nervously. _You’re going to turn into an alcoholic._ She laughed self-deprecatingly, thinking if she did she deserved it.

 

Seeing Jeri with Chris was causing her to rethink everything. Why the hell should she pursue this issue with Jeri when it was obvious Jeri was in love with Chris? Why cause Jeri the confusion or herself the embarrassment of admitting she still loved the woman like she’d never loved anyone else in her life when it was gut-wrenchingly obvious Jeri loved another? What the hell good could come from it? She’d already told Jeri she was sorry for the past, sorry for making Jeri think she hated her. That’s the truth Jeri deserved and she’d provided it. Going any further was only her own selfish desire.

 

_Shouldn’t you let Jeri make her own choice?_

 

“She’s already chosen! She’s engaged to be married in six months time and here I am running around practically _stalking_ her! I don’t even know if she still feels anything for me! I’ve completely lost my fucking mind!”

 

She hasn’t made any choice at all. She doesn’t even know there is a choice to be made! She doesn’t even know you’re in love with her!

 

A loud knock at her hotel door caused her to jump in surprise. She wasn’t expecting anyone. Sitting her drink on a table she walked to the door and pulled it open expecting hotel staff. The image that confronted her took her breath away.

 

Hair drenched and pushed back from her face, Jeri Ryan stood before her. The sense of deja vu was not lost to Kate.

 

“Jeri,” she managed mumble out quietly after staring wide-eyed for many stunned moments.

 

“Kate. We need to talk.” Jeri was curt and to the point. Rage coloured her eyes a dark shade of blue and Kate swallowed apprehensively.

 

Jeri didn’t wait for Kate to ask her in, instead pushing her way past into the room. Kate tried to smother the gasp ready to escape her lips at the feel of Jeri brushing up against her. She watched as Jeri marched the length of the room to stand by the window. As soon as Kate shut the door the younger woman turned sharply to face her. Kate could feel rage radiating off the woman despite the thirty feet separating them.

 

“What the hell were you doing at the studio today!”

 

“How do you –.”

 

Jeri cut her off. “That doesn’t matter. What does matter is why you’re stalking me!”

 

Flustered at the accusation Kate replied without thinking. “I wasn’t stalking you! Don’t confuse me with some obsessed fan!”

 

Jeri snorted. “Oh don’t worry! I would _never_ think for one moment you were a fan of mine!”

 

The comment, though spoken in anger, made Kate halt the next sharp barb she was about to fling. This wasn’t what she wanted with Jeri. This wasn’t the way this was supposed to be happening. _Okay, this wasn’t the way you planned to talk to her but the opportunity is here. You can either continue to trade insults and hurt each other further or you can talk to her._

 

Making her decision, Kate took a deep breath, closed her eyes for the briefest of moments and when she reopened them spoke with determined quiet and calm.

 

“I don’t want to fight with you.”

 

“Then explain to me what the hell type of game you’re playing!” Jeri demanded.

 

“I am not playing a game with you!” Kate bristled; offended that Jeri would think so.

 

Jeri took a few steps forward, challenging Kate. “Oh? From where I’m standing it sure as hell looks that way to me.”

 

“Did you not hear a single word I said to you at Bob’s party?”

 

Jeri stepped forward again, eyes fiery, tone biting. “Did you really expect me to believe what you said to me? I’ve had too much experience with you to be so gullible! I’m not letting you play me for a fool again!”

 

“I wouldn’t waste my time!”

 

The comment was out before Kate could think about it and she instantly regretted it. Breathing deeply and cursing silently she shook her head. She had to stop this.

 

“Damn it, Jeri! Why has it always been so easy for you to anger me! This isn’t wh-.”

 

“Don’t even try to put this shit on me! You’re the one who entered my life again. _Uninvited_. I would think this country is big enough that we could both stay away from each other for the rest of our lives!”

 

“I don’t want to stay away from you!”

 

“What the hell _do_ you want!”

 

“To love you!” Kate shouted back, voice filled with raw emotion.

 

The heated yet genuine words acted as a slap in the face to Jeri. She stumbled back a step, looking at Kate with disbelief.

 

“What?” she whispered.

 

Kate sighed and walked closer to Jeri but kept far enough away to still give her personal space.

 

“I came to the studio today to talk with you. But then I saw you with your fiancé and I started to question my motives.” Kate sighed again. “I’m not making any sense. Let me start over.”

 

Pacing, she offered, “I meant every word I said to you at Bob’s party and so many more I didn’t say. When you joined Voyager I felt my life spin out of control and my own resolve slipping. I knew the moment you stepped back into my life that I was still in love with you. I knew it before but with you there I was so tempted to let myself love you, to give in to what I truly wanted. That day I walked in on you in your trailer and all you were wearing was a robe… God, Jeri. You have no idea how much I wanted to take you in my arms and never let go. Every fibre of my being ached for you.” She stopped and bestowed a look on Jeri, illustrating that ache was still very much alive before she resumed pacing. “You terrified me, so I fled. I panicked when you confronted me later. I was so angry with myself, infuriated that I was losing control over my emotions like that! But you’ve always been able to do that to me,” Kate added softly, a smile coming to her lips. She glanced at Jeri again and nearly lost her nerve to continue. Blue eyes were wide with surprise, confusion and unshed tears. _Oh God_ , _I’m hurting her. But this is my last chance._ Taking a deep breath she resumed her pacing and continued speaking from her heart.

 

“So when you confronted me, what you saw in my eyes that day was the hate I felt for _myself_ ,” she stopped pacing again and caught Jeri’s gaze, “I have _never_ hated you. If you believe nothing else I say, _please_ believe that.”

 

Jeri looked stunned and shaken. A tear slipped down her cheek.

 

“Do you have any idea what I went through? Thinking you hated me? That you couldn’t stand the sight of me?”

 

“I’m sor-.”

 

“You think you can just walk back into my life like it’s all going to be all right? Do you have any idea how much you hurt me? Then? And before?” Jeri’s voice alternated between anger and pain, each making Kate flinch in a different way. “I was devastated when you left me. Should I tell you how for three months after you walked out I had to sleep at my best friend’s apartment because I couldn’t stand to be alone? Should I tell you how I turned down the part of Seven three times before I relented so I could get away from Jack? Should I tell you how I felt when Tim proposed to you on the set and you looked at him the way you once looked at me?”

 

“I have never looked at him the way I look at you,” Kate interjected, voice trembling.

 

Jeri visibly struggled not to break down, her voice cracking with anguish and hurt.

 

“We agreed to two weeks, which turned into three months! Did you really think I wouldn’t fall in love with you during that time? How could I not? It was so easy for you to just walk away!” Jeri’s voice broke on the last word.

 

“Easy? You think it was easy for me?” Kate asked, astonished. “Should I tell you how I got less than a mile down the road before I had to pull the car over because I couldn’t see through my tears. Should I tell you how I wouldn’t let my husband touch me for months because he wasn’t you? And even when I eventually did let him I couldn’t stand it. Should I tell you how when I divorced Robert I looked for you and became a mess all over again when I found out you’d married?” 

 

Staring into Jeri’s eyes Kate could see the emotional impact of what she’d confessed. Jeri sat down hard in a nearby chair and lowered her head into her hands, breaking their gaze and trying to control her emotions. Kate swiftly crossed the distance between them and kneeled before Jeri, taking the startled woman’s trembling hands in her own. Sincere, loving gaze met stunned and terrified.

 

“Seventeen years ago I made the worst choice I’ve ever made in my life. It is a decision I have regretted every day since. If I could change the past, I would. But I can’t. All I can do is change the future.” She stopped for a moment, wanting to be sure Jeri was absorbing everything she said, desperate for her to be impacted with the emotional sincerity of her words. “I came to the studio today because I wanted to tell you this but when I saw you with your fiancé I feared I was being selfish and not thinking of you enough. But I’ve made the mistake of keeping you in the dark one too many times. I won’t do it again.” Taking a fortifying breath, she continued. “I was in love with you seventeen years ago. I was in love with you during Voyager and I’m in love with you n-.”

 

“No!” Jeri suddenly cried, snatching her hands away from Kate’s grasp, startling her into silence. Jeri quickly stood. “I can’t handle this! I can’t do this! Not again!”

 

Jeri turned away from Kate and bolted for the door, turning to face the still kneeling woman one last time.

 

“Do not follow me! Do not try to contact me! Just stay the hell out of my life!”

 

Kate felt the slamming of the door revibrate through her body, settling in her stomach. A sick feeling started to grow inside and her eyes began to water as she was struck with the feeling of losing Jeri all over again.

 

“I can’t lose her again.”

 

_She’s afraid. Go after her!_

 

Jumping to her feet she yanked her long coat off a chair and bolted out the door to find her future.

 

*****

 

Dazedly walking out of the elevator and through the hotel lobby, Jeri felt as if her entire reality had been turned upside down. A part of her yearned to believe Kate. To fall into the woman’s arms and let herself be held in them forever. However a larger part of her was too afraid and confused to let herself.

 

Not noticing the rain pelting down onto her or the beautiful sunset, she slowly walked around the front of the hotel to the much quieter, more secluded area where she’d parked her car.

 

*****

 

Kate dashed out of the automatic doors just in time to see Jeri round the corner of the building. _Thank God._ She quickly sprinted in the same direction to catch up.

 

*****

 

“Jeri!”

 

The sound of her name being yelled startled her, causing her to drop the keys she was already fumbling with. Hurriedly she bent down to retrieve them, shoving what she knew to be the car key into the lock. However before she could turn the key, Kate was upon her.

 

The older woman grabbed her by the arms, spinning her around. Jeri’s eyes met with a pleading, heartfelt gaze.

 

“I’m sorry, I can’t respect your wishes. I can’t just let you walk away without telling you what I should have told you a long time ago. I love you. I want to put one of those beautiful smiles on your face every day. I want to be the cause of laughter in your life. I want to be the one you turn to when you’re scared or just need someone to talk to. I want to go to sleep with you every night and wake up with you every morning. I want a life with you. I know it may be too late. I know I’ve been the most colossal bitch on the planet to you. I know I’ve hurt you deeply and you have no reason to trust me…but I do love you. I’ve always loved you and I will never stop.”

 

Jeri watched a tear slide down Kate’s cheek before being washed away by the rain pouring down on them. She struggled to swallow back her own.

 

“Tell me you don’t love me and then I promise I’ll walk out of your life.”

 

Deja vu hit Jeri as she remembered having this conversation before, but their positions had been reversed. Did she want this to end the same way it had last time?

 

Tentatively she reached a hand up to Kate’s cheek, brushing against it gently. She watched Kate close her eyes at the contact and turn her face into the touch. A barrage of images and sensations assaulted Jeri. The feel of Kate’s skin beneath her fingers. The feel of Kate’s body moving against her own. Kate smiling and laughing. The glint she’d get in her eye when she was conveying a message to Jeri that no one else would have known. _I’m always going to love her._ Jeri felt the truth of in the very depths of her soul. Not waiting for Kate to open her eyes Jeri lowered her mouth to lips she never again thought she’d feel against her own. The older woman’s eyes opened in surprise at the first tentative touch but soon closed again as the intensity of the kiss increased. Both women moaned and their arms wrapped around each other, holding tightly.

 

*****

 

Kate felt as if her body was floating. Never again did she think she would experience this. She’d risked everything, not even knowing if Jeri still loved her. This made it all worth it. This intelligent, beautiful woman chose her. She felt Jeri’s tongue glide across her lips and almost failed to stop her legs from buckling. Jeri’s fingers tangled in her wet hair when their tongues caressed each other. At first gently but gradually Jeri became more insistent, more urgent and Kate hungrily returned the sentiment, wanting to give Jeri everything she needed.

 

Gradually Jeri broke the kiss but not their embrace. She pressed her cheek against Kate’s and spoke softly into her ear.

 

“I love you too.”

 

Kate’s heart soared. After all this time Jeri still felt it too.

 

“But I’m afraid,” Jeri continued. “For the longest time after you left I kept hoping you’d change your mind. But eventually I had to convince myself you were lost to me forever and I buried everything I felt for you but now you’re…”

 

Kate heard Jeri’s voice catch on a sob and her body start to tremble.

 

“Oh God, Jeri, I’m so, so sorry.”

 

Kate held her securely for a few long moments before gently pulling back. She moved her hand to Jeri’s chin and directed the woman’s eyes to her own. Her own eyes began to tear again as she watched a stray tear slide down Jeri’s cheek. Moving her hand from Jeri’s chin she caressed it away with her thumb, bringing it to her lips where she kissed it.

 

“I promise you I will spend the rest of my life showing you how much I love you. I will spend every waking moment easing that fear I know is telling you to run away from me.” She put both hands on Jeri’s cheeks. “I promise you, this time will be different. This time I won’t be running away in fear. I’m not going anywhere except with you.”

 

Kate guided Jeri’s lips toward her own, stopping just before their lips met. “Do you believe me?”

 

Jeri’s eyes searched hers for long moments before answering, “Yes.”

 

“Thank you,” Kate smiled and Jeri finished bridging the distance to soft, waiting lips. She tasted the salt of Jeri’s tears, wanting desperately to take them into herself and make them disappear. They clung to each other tightly, both never wanting to let go. Kate moaned into Jeri’s mouth when she felt the woman’s hand slip inside her long coat.

 

A fierce crack of thunder a few seconds later broke their heated kiss, making them jump. They looked up at the sky as if only now aware of the downpour in which they stood.

 

“We should go back to my room,” Kate suggested, breathing slightly erratic from their mouths reacquainting themselves with each other.

 

“We have a lot to talk about,” Jeri replied, a small smile starting to form in one corner of her mouth. Kate had never been happier to see anything in all her life.

 

*****

 

Jeri followed Kate to a side entrance of the hotel so they could both avoid walking back through the lobby soaking wet. The two didn’t need to attract any undue attention and Jeri knew they were lucky they hadn’t attracted such attention out in the parking lot. If it had been a normal, sunny L.A. day their display could have caused quite a scene but as it was no one was in sight within their vicinity. No doubt everyone had chosen to stay inside to avoid getting soaked.

 

Despite the chill of the oncoming night and her wet clothes, Jeri didn’t feel cold. Watching Kate’s backside as the woman ascended a short flight of steps in front of them she discovered she felt pretty damn hot.

 

It was so long ago but it’s all coming back to me.

 

She smiled to herself as the song lyric entered her mind. Only this morning she had angrily shut the song off when it started playing on the radio but now, as she thought about the lyrics, she realized how absolutely fitting it still was for how she felt. The feelings she had made herself bury for this beautiful, fiery woman were reasserting themselves with a vengeance. She could almost imagine no time had passed at all since she felt like this for Kate with how completely the feelings were consuming her.

 

# How did I ever manage to lock away what I feel for her?

 

Necessity. Survival. She’d had no choice but now she did and she welcomed them wholeheartedly. A part of her was still afraid but Kate had come after her. She hadn’t let her walk away and that action had gone a long way to quieting her fears. The absolute sincerity, love and adoration she saw in Kate’s eyes for her had been the deciding factor. Instinctively she knew Kate meant every word she said. If she were really honest with herself she knew Kate was serious from the night of Bob’s party but her fear had been too strong then and it would have won this time if Kate hadn’t come after her. She knew they still had a lot to talk about and work out but she also knew, without doubt that they would succeed.

 

Walking behind the shorter woman down the hall to her room she began to feel a deep ache to be closer to her, to wrap herself around her and bury herself in everything that is Kate. Finally they arrived at the room and Kate put the key card in the slot, a short beep and a click signalling verification as the door lock popped open. Kate tossed a warm smile over her shoulder at Jeri before she looked ahead again and entered the room.

 

Tossing the key card on the table and kicking off her shoes, the older woman turned to ask Jeri if she could get her a hot drink but before she could even form the first word the younger woman grabbed Kate, pulling her close. Jeri’s lips connected with Kate’s, kissing her urgently. Her hands went to Kate’s shoulders and stripped the wet coat off, letting it drop to their feet. She hurriedly guided Kate toward the bed, pushing her down onto it and throwing her own jacket off before climbing atop the breathless woman. Their lips rejoined, tongues meeting as both women devoured each other. Jeri’s hands stroked down Kate’s sides, over ribs and down to her waist where she yanked Kate’s shirt from her pants. Both women moaned into each other’s mouth as Jeri’s warm hands met Kate’s chilled flesh.

 

Jeri felt herself consumed with the need to feel Kate everywhere around her, feeling as though once her feelings for the woman were allowed to be acknowledged again, she had no control over them. She moved her hands up Kate’s stomach, anticipating feeling the softness of Kate’s breast. When her fingers finally reached their destination, they deftly slipped under her bra to cup a breast and squeeze firmly. Kate groaned in approval at the pressure, spurring Jeri on. Two fingers moved to pinch her erect nipple, causing Kate to gasp and her hips to undulate against Jeri who was still on top of her.

 

Breathlessly the women broke the kiss, staring into each other’s passion filled eyes while Jeri continued to manipulate Kate’s nipple. Then Jeri twisted the nipple in such a way that she knew drove the other woman mad with pleasure. She watched Kate’s eyes close in ecstasy before lowering her mouth to suck Kate’s earlobe, driving her to moan louder and squirm beneath her.

 

_It’s been so long,_ Jeri thought as she began a trail of kisses down Kate’s neck. She barely heard Kate call her name through the erotic fog.

 

“Jeri,” Kate tried, moaning again as Jeri licked her pulse point. “Jeri, honey, we have to stop,” she managed to get out between gasps.

 

Jeri raised herself up on her arms and looked down at Kate, wet hair falling around her face. Kate swallowed hard at the wild need she saw looking down at her.

 

“I don’t want to stop, but we have to. We have to talk. I want us to do this right. I don’t want this having the feeling of an affair to it,” Kate explained sincerely.

 

Jeri visibly struggled to control her raging hormones, shaking her head once to try and clear the haze she felt her brain trapped in.

 

“You’re right,” she agreed, her breathing still erratic. “I just, I, I need to be close to you right now, to feel you around me, to know you’re really here,” Jeri confessed. A part of her found that extremely hard to admit and she held her breath, waiting for Kate’s reaction.

 

Kate smiled at her lovingly. “Then lay back down and just let me hold you.”

 

Jeri released the breath she was holding and settled herself back on top of Kate’s body, sighing in contentment as the older woman’s arms wrapped securely around her. When she felt Kate’s lips press a kiss to the top of her head her eyes filled with tears. _If this is a dream I never want to wake up._

 

*****

 

_I can’t believe this is really happening._ Kate lay trembling inside from barely controlled desire as she held Jeri. She closed her eyes as she remembered the feel of sure fingers twisting her nipple. Kate hadn’t felt that in seventeen years. She’d never told another lover about it, wanting it forever as something for only her and Jeri. She hadn’t even known about it herself until Jeri discovered it while making love one evening. It had been so hard to tell her to stop. It would have been easier to let Jeri continue consuming her with their renewed passion, but she had to stop her. If she’d let it continue, she knew it would have only added to Jeri’s fears once the euphoria wore off.

 

“I can’t believe you’re here with me, wrapped in my arms,” Kate murmured with wonder as she ran her fingers through Jeri’s drying hair.

 

“I can’t either.” Jeri’s head lay against Kate’s shoulder and she snuggled further into the warm body beneath her, enjoying the feel of arms wrapped around her.

 

“I was such a fool,” Kate whispered.

 

Hearing Kate’s voice break, Jeri moved her head to focus on the woman. Tears glistened in sorrowful blue eyes. Automatically she moved her hand up to caress a cheek, offering comfort.

 

“We were both fools,” Jeri stated.

 

“No. You were never a fool. You knew what you wanted then and if I hadn’t been so selfish we would have spent the last seventeen years together.”

 

Jeri smiled at the thought but shook her head, “No, I don’t believe we would have.”

 

Kate gave her a look of confusion.

 

“As much as I wanted you to be, you weren’t ready then. I couldn’t see that at the time, but I do now.”

 

“I loved you,” Kate told her.

 

“I know you did. I could see it in your eyes.” Jeri smiled, moving her thumb to collect the moisture that had gathered in the corner of Kate’s eye. “Just like I can see it now.” They shared a moment of quiet connection before Jeri continued. “But that wouldn’t have been enough. You were too afraid and I don’t think you would have overcome that then.”

 

“That still makes me a fool. A spineless, selfish fool,” Kate stated, disdain for herself lacing her words.

 

“It’s in the past. As you said, neither of us can change that, no matter how much we might want to.”

 

Kate’s face softened as she looked at Jeri with wonder, “I can’t believe you’re willing to forgive me so easily.”

 

“It’s not easy. But I’ve loved you for so long and I know I’m always going to love you. If we have a chance, I have to follow my heart even if I am terrified.”

 

Kate briefly wondered if she’d ever stop being on the verge of tears today before she replied, “I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness or this last chance, but by giving both to me you have made me happier than I have been in a very long time. I’ll do anything to assuage your fears about us.”

 

Jeri smiled, “I know you would. What is really going to do that however is time. Time spent with you while both of us heal together.”

 

“My time is yours to have,” Kate replied, hugging Jeri tightly.

 

Sighing as Jeri again placed her head on her chest, Kate couldn’t believe the compassion this woman held. _I really don’t deserve her._ Idly she stroked Jeri’s hair, feeling content and warm. If she could stay like this forever she’d die happy.

 

“Kate?” Jeri asked after lying silently for more than fifteen minutes.

 

“Mmm?”

 

“When did you decide to accept your feelings for me?”

 

Kate took a deep breath before replying. Her fingers still glided through Jeri’s hair since the woman hadn’t moved.

 

“I’ve always accepted I’ve had them but I know that’s not what you’re asking.” She paused for a moment, gathering her thoughts. “During the entire four years working with you on Voyager I nearly told you many times. Sadly those times were often when I was at my worst with you because I was trying so hard not to break down and confess to you. Despite how I know it felt, I actually loved working with you. Not only did Janeway allow me close to you, but once a certain faction of fans started seeing something more in the interaction between Janeway and Seven, she also allowed me to flirt with you.”

 

Kate smiled as she remembered her feelings of outrage at the entire Janeway/Seven dynamic. When the producers first told her there was an entire legion of fans dedicated to the idea that there was subtext between Janeway and Seven she’d nearly died on the spot. She’d stared dumbfounded at them as they told her that they could see what those fans were talking about because many a director had also commented on the amazing chemistry between her and Jeri. By this point Kate was ready to swallow her tongue but she kept holding it, irrationally afraid that somehow the producers had found out about she and Jeri’s past involvement and any minute they were going to tell her she was fired. That blow never came; instead a request to step up the flirting was given. Kate tried to object but they didn’t listen to her and if there was one thing that had always had her absolute devotion, it was her work. So, she’d stepped it up. Jeri had as well, obviously being given the same talk by the producers, but neither of them spoke about it with each other. They just did what they were told, but secretly Kate enjoyed every second of it.

 

“I nearly fainted when the producers told me to step up the level of flirting,” Jeri commented, laughing slightly and unknowingly echoing Kate’s own thoughts.

 

“So did I,” Kate snickered. “I kept wondering what you thought about it but of course I said nothing. So, after that happened, I felt myself really losing control. I’d go home and dream about you all night. I’d come in to work the next morning with barely any sleep and fantasize about you while giving my lines. I’d watch you perform your parts when I wasn’t in them with you and think to myself what a magnificent, talented woman you’d become. There were so many times I’d lock myself in my trailer going crazy with thoughts of you taunting me in my mind.”

 

Kate shivered as she remembered how sometimes she felt almost feverish after doing a scene with Jeri or having been unobtrusively watching her. More often than not after a scene with the young blonde was completed Kate would request a break and have to go collect herself in her trailer before continuing. She shivered as she recalled one very desperate moment when they were filming “Dark Frontier.”

 

“Oh come on, I’m sure the thoughts weren’t that painful,” Jeri teased, remarking on the shiver she felt run through Kate’s body.

 

“Oh no, Jeri, they weren’t painful at all,” Kate replied, voice husky and tinged with desire.

 

“Oh,” Jeri replied, a slight smirk on her lips as she realized what Kate meant.

 

“Anyway,” Kate continued, trying to ignore the tingling in her body, “not long after that is when Tim proposed to me. I accepted, hoping like hell that once I was married again my feelings for you would lessen. At this point you were dating Braga and I assumed you were long over me.”

 

Jeri snorted, “Weren’t you ever taught to never make assumptions?”

 

Kate let out a soft chuckle, “Unfortunately I think that’s one lesson I chose to pay no attention to. Assumptions are often easier than facing the truth, especially where this was concerned. At least for that point and time for me.” Kate sighed with regret before continuing. “So, once Voyager ended, I again assumed that was that. I’d made it through the four years and we’d both go our separate ways. However, it didn’t quite work that way. I found myself still thinking of you almost every day. I’d pick up magazines when you’d do a shoot and find myself paging through them, staring at the pictures and hoping you were happy. I went on like that for years; I thought just following your career would be enough. When Shark went to air I found myself in front of my T.V. every Thursday night watching. Five days ago Tim asked me to come with him to a Democratic fundraiser and I agreed. Then he surprised me by taking me to Ortolan to meet up with Bob, Robert and Tim. By this time I was in a near panic. Your fiancé came to our table and I couldn’t help but ask about you. Then we met up at Bob’s party, you know what happened there. After that I tried convincing myself that I just needed to get away from you and I’d be able to control myself again. I left the next morning for my flight. They called for passengers to board and I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t leave. I think it was at that moment I accepted I wanted to be with you and that I’d do anything to make it happen. I didn’t feel that fear anymore. I just felt my love for you and I embraced it.”

 

“So, you’re not afraid anymore?”

 

“Not in the same way.” Kate tried thinking of a way to explain but couldn’t come up with anything that made much sense. “Do you understand?” She asked Jeri instead.

 

Jeri raised her head, their gazes intersecting, “Yes.”

 

Kate smiled and Jeri returned one of her own. Both women soon became lost in each other’s gazes and the feeling of their bodies pressed together. Kate moved her head slightly forward and Jeri met her halfway, lips merging. Both women let out a quiet whimper of need when their tongues caressed against each other. Soon hands were wandering each other’s bodies. Kate felt all rational thought leave her mind as her hands worked their way up Jeri’s shirt to take hold of Jeri’s firm breasts. Jeri moaned into Kate’s mouth before struggling to pull away.

 

“I-I thought we weren’t… oh God… going to do this,” Jeri panted out. She nearly didn’t remember the rest of the sentence when Kate’s hands slipped under her bra and captured her nipples.

 

Kate heard Jeri’s words but the woman’s actions were clearly in direct opposition as the lithe body slid further up hers, bringing the supple chest closer and closer to her lips. Kate’s mouth went dry at the thought of tasting those perfect breasts again.

 

“Jeri, darling,” Kate tried, but Jeri was oblivious to her words as she kept inching her way up.

 

Finally Kate couldn’t take anymore and grasped the woman firmly, flipping their positions. A hungry gaze now stared down into surprised but still desire-laden eyes.

 

“I think we could both use a drink.” Kate remarked, barely containing herself from devouring Jeri. Continuing to struggle against that desire she moved herself off the bed and walked unsteadily to the bar fridge.

 

Jeri pulled her shirt down and with great effort sat up on the bed. She couldn’t help but chuckle a little as she felt her head spin slightly.

 

“I’m glad you find this amusing,” Kate replied in dry tones while she poured the two drinks, “I for one need a very, very cold shower.”

 

“Even after all these years you still make my head spin,” Jeri commented, grinning affectionately.

 

Kate turned with drinks in hand and walked back over to Jeri, offering a drink that Jeri accepted.

 

“And you mine,” Kate replied, smiling as she sat down next to the blonde.

 

Both women took a sip of their drink, hoping it would quell their raging libidos but when they turned to look at each other both realized that quelling their libidos had only one solution.

 

Simultaneously they moved, arms wrapping around each other and lips again meeting heatedly. After long moments they separated slightly, resting their foreheads against each other’s and laughed, amused with their own behaviour.

 

“I love you so much, Jeri.” Kate said seriously after their amusement subsided.

 

“And I love you, Kate,” Jeri replied, locking their gazes.

 

“This isn’t going to be easy,” remarked Kate, a pensive look on her face.

 

Jeri moved back slightly and took Kate’s hands in her own. “I know. We have a lot to work out.”

 

Kate nodded her head in agreement. “We should meet tomorrow and discuss where we want to go from here.”

 

“Why not talk about it now?” Jeri asked confused.

 

“I think you should have a night to think about this,” Jeri opened her mouth to speak but Kate raised her hand, stopping her. “I know you love me and I love you. That’s not in doubt. I just want you to have some time on your own to think about this. Make sure this is what you really want because as I said, it’s not going to be easy.”

 

“Are you sure you’re not the one who needs the night to think things over?” Jeri snapped back, her insecurity making its presence known.

 

Kate stood and walked to the table she’d discarded the key card onto. Returning with it she kneeled before Jeri and put it in her hands.

 

“I am more sure than I’ve ever been about anything that I don’t need time to consider what I want. I’ve had more than enough time to do that. But this is new to you and I think it’s only fair you have time away from me to think about it. I want you to be just as sure as I am.”

 

Taking Jeri’s hands she raised them to her lips and kissed them before looking back into Jeri’s eyes. “Take this with you. I’ll be right here. If you need me, come. I’m not going anywhere.”

 

“I’m sorry,” Jeri began remorsefully but Kate cut her off.

 

“No, don’t be sorry. You have every right to question me right now. I understand your fears.”

 

Kate stood and bestowed a more chaste kiss on Jeri’s lips, not allowing herself to linger for fear that she would end up stretched out on top of Jeri again. Walking to the table she grabbed a piece of paper and scribbled something down on it before returning with it.

 

“Here’s my cell phone number. With that key and this number you’ll be able to reach me anytime.” Jeri nodded, tucking the paper in her pocket. “We can meet here and talk if this is still what you want tomorrow.”

 

Jeri stood to her full five feet eight inches and looked down at Kate. “It will be,” she assured with conviction. “I’ll meet you here at six pm.”

 

Kate smiled. “I’m already looking forward to it. We can go somewhere and talk then. Maybe to that beach you showed me some time ago?”

 

Jeri nodded her agreement. “I guess I should go then.”

 

Kate smiled at the morose tone. “If you stay we’ll only end up in bed and that’s not what I want.”

 

Jeri looked up, raising an enquiring eyebrow.

 

Kate’s expression took on a look of recognition as she realized how what she said sounded.

 

“That’s not what I meant,” she began quickly. “I do want to end up in bed!” Colour rose in her cheeks as she registered how desperate that sounded. Jeri tried to control her laughter but failed. Kate sighed and put her head in her hands, chuckling. “You know what I meant,” she finished dryly.

 

Jeri regained some of her composure but still wore a large smile. “Yes, I think I get the general meaning. And you’re right of course.”

 

Kate nodded, still wearing a grin herself and walked with Jeri to the door. “I’ll see you tomorrow then.”

 

“Six pm,” Jeri repeated.

 

Both women now stood at the door, reluctant to part. Finally Jeri pulled Kate to her and kissed her thoroughly before letting the woman go again.

 

“Until tomorrow,” Jeri said, slipping out the door before she lost her will to do so.

 

Kate leaned against the door as it shut, still catching her breath from the incredible goodbye kiss. _How have I ever lived without that woman?_

*****

 

The automatic gates closed behind Jeri as she parked her car and she somehow felt their closing represented the ending of this chapter in her life. She felt fearful but exhilarated at the same time. She checked the time before she stepped out of the car, four pm; she’d been gone three hours. Chris was still at Ortolan and would be there quite late since it was a Friday night. Alex had soccer practice after school and wouldn’t be home for another hour. She wanted to talk to Alex right away and would need the hour to mentally prepare herself for the conversation. Only three hours ago she had been infuriated with Kate and now she had to explain to her son that she was going to leave Chris to be with her.

 

“I can’t believe how much my life has changed in the last five days,” she said out loud as she entered the house. “A week ago if someone had told me I would be in this position I would have laughed in their face.”

 

Shaking her head at the audacity of it all, she went into the kitchen for a drink. Sitting down at the breakfast bar she couldn’t help but recall how it felt to finally kiss Kate again. To feel the woman respond to her touch. Arousal shot through her as she remembered Kate’s hands on her body. She found herself burning for her even more than she had years ago. She knew Kate had been right to stop it though; this was about more than that. They both had to officially end their involvement with their current partners before they could be together. No affairs this time.

 

Ending it with Chris did scare Jeri. As selfish as it sounded they both owned Ortolan together and she loved that restaurant as much as he did; she didn’t want to lose it. She also did not look forward to hurting him. She cared about him; she could have had a good, safe life with him. However, after being with Kate again, she realized she didn’t love him. Not the way you should love someone if you’re going to marry him. She’d made the same mistake with Jack. Settling for someone because she couldn’t have Kate. Chris was a much better man than Jack though. He deserved a woman who would love him fully, that woman could not be her.

 

She’d also had time to think about how being a lesbian in Hollywood was bound to affect her career. She loved working on Shark and would hate to lose the role, but if that’s what it took to be with Kate, then she would gladly pay the price. Jeri stopped herself from thinking about it too much at the moment though, wanting to discuss what she and Kate were going to do about that together. They both had careers to consider and it felt like a problem better thought about and solved by both of them rather than worrying about it on her own.

 

“Hey, Mom! You home?” Alex’s voice rang out, startling Jeri. A quick look at the clock confirmed it was only five-fifteen and immediately she was concerned that Alex was home so early. Her own crisis forgotten she rushed out to the living room.

 

“Alex! Are you okay?” she asked when she got into the living room, voice worried. “What are you doing home so early?”

 

Jeri’s heart rate slowed back down when she could see nothing physically wrong with him.

 

“Raining. Coach decided to stop practice early,” he told her, sounding depressed about it.

 

“Of course,” she replied, relieved.

 

“You okay, Mom?” Alex asked. “You look sort of… tense.”

 

“I need to discuss something you,” she answered, straight to the point. Her son had always been very aware of her moods ever since he was a very young boy. It was nearly impossible to hide anything from him.

 

“Sure,” he replied easily, plopping himself down on the couch.

 

Jeri suddenly found herself extremely nervous sitting down next to her son. _How am I going to explain this to a twelve year old?_ After another couple minutes of silence, Alex looked up at her.

 

“Mom?” he prodded.

 

“Sorry, Alex. I guess I’m just not sure how to explain this to you.”

 

“We’re not moving to France, are we?” he asked, voice filled with dread.

 

Jeri laughed loudly at his forlorn expression, feeling a bit better for doing so. She resisted the urge to hug him, remembering that he told her it was no longer cool to do so now that he was almost a teenager.

 

“We are definitely not moving to France,” Jeri promised.

 

“Good. It’s bad enough you’re having the wedding there.” As soon as the words were out, he clamped his hand over his mouth, indicating that wasn’t something he meant to tell her.

 

Jeri raised her eyebrow at him.

 

“When I told you the wedding was to be in France you acted very happy about it.”

 

Alex looked down at his feet; clearly sorry he’d said anything.

 

“Sorry mom, I didn’t mean to tell you that. I didn’t say anything before because it’s up to you and Chris.”

 

“Hey, your opinion matters a lot to me, Alex. You know that.”

 

“But it is _your_ wedding and you’ve become so obsessed with everything French ever since you met Chris, so I didn’t want to say anything bad about it.”

 

Jeri was slightly taken aback by Alex’s comment for a moment… but he was right… she had become obsessed with everything French. Yes, she’d always loved French food but it was more than that. In fact she and Chris had discussed moving to France, but decided against it when Jeri landed the role in Shark.

 

“Do you like Chris, Alex?”

 

Alex squirmed in his seat and avoided Jeri’s eyes.

 

“He’s okay.”

 

“Alex, look at me,” Jeri commanded.

 

Slowly he turned his head and as soon as Jeri saw his eyes she knew the truth.

 

“You don’t like him, do you?” she asked. There was no anger or reproach in her voice, just genuine curiosity.

 

“Aw, mom, do we have to talk about this? If you like Chris and he makes you happy then he’s okay by me.”

 

Jeri was flooded by a warmth of love for her son and gazed at him affectionately.

 

“C’mon, mom, don’t look at me like that!”

 

Jeri laughed again at her son’s aggravation and ruffled the hair on his head with her hand.

 

“Mom!” Alex yelled outraged at having his hair messed up.

 

“It was either that or a hug,” she told him with mock-severity.

 

Alex rolled his eyes before asking, “So was that all? You just wanted to know if I like Chris?”

 

Jeri became serious again and shook her head in the negative.

 

“No. That’s not what it’s about but it is about Chris and me.” Jeri struggled for just the right words to make him understand but she doubted there were any. She would just have to use the simple truth and hope Alex could handle it.

 

“I’m not going to marry Chris anymore.”

 

Alex’s head snapped around to look at her with shock.

 

“Are you breaking up with him?” Alex asked.

 

“Yes. When he comes home tonight I’m going to talk to him.”

 

“So, he doesn’t know yet?”

 

“No.”

 

“Why?”

 

Alex asked the question simply and Jeri wished there was a simple answer to give.

 

“I’m in love with someone else and I want to be with them instead.”

 

Alex’s mouth dropped open in further shock and Jeri ran her hand through her hair nervously.

 

“Who?” her son asked.

 

# Oh boy, this is where it’s going to get really complicated! How do I tell my son, who has only ever seen me with men, that I’m in love with a woman?

 

“You actually know her.”

 

“A woman?” Alex asked calmly but clearly surprised.

 

_No malice or disgust in his voice, that’s good_ , Jeri thought before answering.

 

“Yes.” Jeri confirmed, voice quieter than it had been. She felt the anxious feeling in the pit of her stomach continue to build.

 

“Does she make you happy?” he asked, looking her directly in the eye.

 

“Very much so,” Jeri answered, voice thick with emotion. She was unbelievably touched that was her son’s first concern. “You actually know her. Her name is Kate Mulgrew,” she added.

 

“Is she the woman who played the Captain on Voyager with you?”

 

“Yes, she is.”

 

Alex nodded his head as though confirming something to himself before saying, “I like her.”

 

Jeri sucked in a lung full of air and quickly let it out again, not realizing she hadn’t taken a breath in a while. Those words were more than she could have hoped for considering what he’d just said previously about Chris.

 

“She would always talk to me when you’d bring me to the set. She always asked me how you were doing and if you were happy. And then she’d ask me how I was and play with me for a while.” Alex told her, explaining his previous statement.

 

Jeri’s mouth now hung open in shock and her eyes glistened, understanding the meaning of what Alex was telling her. She thought of Kate playing with her son when he was younger and felt a lump rise in her throat.

 

“You’re not going to cry, are you mom?” Alex asked with dread.

 

Jeri chuckled and blinked back her tears.

 

“No, no crying.” After a moment she asked him, “So, you have no problems with me being involved with Kate then?”

 

She held her breath again as she could see the thoughts ticking over in Alex’s young mind.

 

“It’ll be weird… at first,” he clarified, “but I like her and she makes you happy, so I’ll get used to it.”

 

Jeri let out a relieved breath, amazed that she wasn’t going to have a rough time of this with Alex. She expected him to possibly be disgusted by the idea of his mom seeing another woman, but it appeared as if even though it might be ‘weird’ at first, he didn’t really care.

 

“So, that’s all then?” he asked, standing up.

 

“Yeah. I just wanted you to know before I told Chris. I expect he’s going to be pretty upset with me so I didn’t want you to wonder what was going on.”

 

“Maybe I should go over to Joe’s house for the night,” Alex suggested.

 

Jeri stood and wrapped her son in a tight hug.

 

“You are the sweetest, most thoughtful son a mother could have,” she told him, kissing the top of his head.

 

Alex didn’t struggle against the embrace, but when Jeri released him his cheeks were coloured at least ten different shades of red.

 

“It’s no big deal,” he explained, scuffing his feet on the floor. “I was going over there tomorrow night anyway. We’ll just make it a boys weekend and watch lots of horror movies.”

 

Jeri laughed at her son’s discomfort, finding it adorable.

 

“Thank you, Alex. But remember,” she said, getting serious, “you are the most important thing to me. I want you to talk to me if you have any problems with this. I want you okay with it.”

 

“If she makes you happy, I’ll be okay with it,” Alex returned easily.

 

Jeri thought about hugging him again but decided to spare him. He started off toward his bedroom and Jeri walked to the kitchen to get a glass of water.

 

“Besides,” Alex started, turning around, “I know all about lesbians. There’s a lot of girls at school who see each other and they’re all really cool.”

 

Then he was gone, into his room to collect some Play Station games to bring over to Joe’s with him. Jeri was left in the kitchen, choking and spluttering on the water she’d just tried to swallow.

 

*****

 

Kate hopped out of the shower and threw on her robe. She still couldn’t believe how everything had turned out and she felt like she was walking on air. Never had she felt so free and unrestrained. She could ask for nothing more in her life right now.

 

However, the euphoria was slightly tempered by the fact that she still had to call Tim and explain to him that she now wanted a divorce. They had been apart in every sense of the word for a long time now but she knew he still harboured hopes of rekindling their relationship someday and she cared about him, therefore did not look forward to hurting him. He was a very, very good friend and she only hoped he would remain one after this.

 

Sighing with the knowledge that she should stop avoiding the inevitable, she fixed herself a drink and picked up the phone. Dialling Tim’s number, she tapped her fingernail on the rim of her glass while she waited for him to pick up.

 

“This is Tim Hagan’s phone. I’m sorry I’m not available…”

 

“Fuck,” Kate cursed, “do I leave a message or not?”

 

She decided to just leave a short one telling him to please phone her but when she started to speak Tim suddenly picked up.

 

“Hello Kate, I’m here! Sorry, I was outside and only just managed to get back in,” he said, partially out of breath.

 

“Would you rather I call back?” she asked.

 

“No, it’s fine. I was just enjoying some fresh air. What can I do for you?”

 

He sounded happy and Kate loathed to ruin his mood. However, she had to do this now so tomorrow she and Jeri could start planning their life together.

 

“I need to talk to you for a bit. Something’s happened while I’ve been in L.A.”

 

“Nothing bad, I hope.”

 

“No, nothing like that at all. For me it’s something absolutely wonderful. Something I wasn’t even sure could happen.”

 

“Sounds great!” he responded enthusiastically.

 

Kate was torn between wanting to share her happiness with a person she considered to be one of her best friends, or treat it as the sombre occasion she knew it would be for Tim. Quickly she chose the latter; she had to respect how this was going to affect him. She tempered her voice before she spoke again.

 

“I’m not sure how to tell you this. I don’t want to hurt you but I need to be honest with you. I’ve reconnected with someone from my past… someone who I love very much and who amazingly enough loves me in return.” Kate stopped when she heard a loud bang over the phone. “Tim, are you okay?”

 

Silence stretched on for a while before he responded.

 

“You want a divorce?” he asked, voice gruff.

 

“Yes,” Kate answered simply, knowing there were no words she could say that would make him feel better about this.

 

“Can I ask who it is?”

 

“Do you have some time? It’s not a quick story if you really want to understand.”

 

Tim answered that yes, he had the time so Kate told him everything. From beginning to end.

 

“I guess that certainly explains why our marriage didn’t last very long,” he commented when she finished.

 

Kate could hear his anger and he was certainly justified in it. She’d been wrong to marry him when she already knew it wasn’t going to work, not for long anyway.

 

“I am truly sorry I’ve hurt you,” Kate told him, voice remorseful.

 

“Well, it helps that we haven’t been playing happy family for a while anyway,” he responded bitterly. Sighing he started over again. “I’m sorry Kate, I guess this is still coming as a shock even if we haven’t really been together in a long time. I think I just need some time to adjust.”

 

“I understand.”

 

“I’ll call the lawyer in the morning and have the divorce papers drawn up. It shouldn’t take too long since we’re both in agreement.”

 

“Thank you, Tim.”

 

“I really hope she’s the one that will make you happy,” he commented sincerely.

 

“She is,” Kate answered, leaving no room for doubt.

 

They both said goodbye and then hung up. Kate sighed and took a drink from the glass in front of her. A part of her felt bad for having ever dragged Tim into this, but now that she’d made the call she felt like celebrating. If she felt free before now she felt weightless. If she floated off the floor this instant she wouldn’t be surprised. Momentarily she thought about calling Jeri but a frown came to her face when she realized she’d never gotten her number. _Oh well, I’ll see her tomorrow and get it then_ , she thought. Thinking of Jeri she hoped she was going to be okay speaking to Chris and her son.

 

She remembered Alex fondly, having encountered him a number of times over the years filming Voyager. He was a delightful child and she looked forward to seeing him again. Briefly she wondered how he would take the news, but she wasn’t worried. Something told her he would accept it without too much trouble. However, she was very worried about how Chris would take the news when Jeri told him. Irrationally she wished she could be there with Jeri when she did tell him, but that was the worst possible scenario she could imagine. She knew she would have to wait until tomorrow to find out how things went, but she couldn’t help but feel anxious for her. The need to be by her side was overwhelming but unrealistic at the moment. Silently she sent Jeri her love before crawling into bed to try and sleep.

 

*****

 

Jeri yawned as she stretched the muscles in her body. She’d been lying on the couch listening to some music when she fell asleep. Looking at the clock she saw it was 12:30am. Four hours ago she’d driven Alex to Joe’s and came straight back home, intending to figure out what she was going to say to Chris. After ruminating about it for some time she finally decided there was no easy way to tell him. She would just have to be honest and hope for the best. Deciding to relax for a while she’d put some music on and laid down on the couch around two hours ago. The emotional stress of the day must have caught up with her because as soon as she lay down she fell asleep.

 

Hearing footsteps, she knew Chris had arrived home. His entrance was probably the reason she woke up. Flinging her arm over her eyes she sighed as she realized she was going to have to get up and talk with him. She listened as the footsteps moved closer and then stopped just short of the back of the couch. With her eyes closed and covered by her arm she wasn’t aware he’d leaned over the couch to kiss her until she felt his lips on hers. Jerking sharply away from him, she quickly jumped off the couch to her feet.

 

“I am sorry, Cherie, I did not mean to startle you,” Chris apologized as he righted himself.

 

Jeri tried to collect herself and not appear flustered but then she realized there was no point in pretending nothing was wrong anymore. 

 

“I’m fine,” she responded, trying to smile but failing. She sighed and ran her fingers through her hair. “Chris, we need to talk.”

 

Jeri felt her body tense further as Chris’s smile dropped away.

 

“It is never good news when a woman says that,” he frowned.

 

“No, isn’t,” she agreed.

 

Chris sat down in a large armchair to the side of the couch and watched as Jeri began to pace in front of him

 

“I know I’ve been acting rather strange lately,” she began hesitantly but before she could say more Chris cut her off.

 

“You’ve met someone else, yes?” Chris asked, voice unnaturally calm.

 

“I- Yes,” Jeri stammered, caught off guard at his quick, though accurate presumption.

 

Chris sat silently but she could see from the flexing of his hands and the tightness of his jaw, that underneath the calm exterior he was seething. After a moment more he jumped out of the chair and stalked to the windows where he stared out into the black night.

 

“Who!” He spun around and yelled, causing Jeri to jump. Chris stopped, let out a breath and tried to control his temper when he spoke next. “Who is it and where did you meet this man? Was it at Bob’s party?”

 

Jeri started to shake her head no, but corrected herself. “I mean yes, I met them at Bob’s party but that’s not the first time I met them. The first time was seventeen years ago but I ran into her again at Bob’s party.”

 

Jeri closed her eyes and cursed in silent admonishment at herself when she saw Chris’s eyes widen at the word ‘her’. She hadn’t meant to let that slip, not yet. Not until she thought that he was truly in control of himself enough to deal with that fact.

 

“A woman?” Chris shouted, anger back in full force.

 

“Yes,” Jeri answered steadily, opening her eyes and meeting his gaze.

 

“You are leaving me for a _woman_!” Chris spat out with contempt.

 

Jeri wasn’t surprised by his reaction but she felt her own ire raise a notch at his emphasis on the word woman.

 

“I want to be adult about this. I care about you and if you’d just let me exp-.”

 

“Care about me! You _care_ about me! What happened to love! You only met this _woman_ again at Bob’s party after not seeing her for seventeen years and suddenly what we have is over?” He demanded.

 

“It hasn’t been seventeen years since I last saw her!” Jeri told him. Her own voice was raising now and she tried to keep a check on it. She really didn’t want this to deteriorate into a shouting match.

 

“You’ve been having an affair!” he accused, stepping toward her

 

“No!” Jeri defended. “If you’d just let me-.”

 

“Who is it?” Chris demanded again, taking a step toward her.

 

“Chris,” Jeri tried calmly, “I don’t want-.”

 

“WHO?” He shouted again, coming closer.

 

“Kate!” Jeri shouted back, finally having enough of his aggressive behaviour. “Kate Mulgrew. My co-star from Voyager. Seventeen years ago we were involved and then she left me. During Voyager she acted like nothing had ever happened between us. That night at Bob’s party she apologized for the past and this afternoon she told me she’s in love with me and always has been.”

 

Jeri stopped and drew in a lungful of air. She’d rushed the words out haphazardly, feeling as if she needed to before he again cut her off. Chris was staring at her, clearly shocked.

 

“And you believe her?” He asked. Jeri opened her mouth to answer but Chris hadn’t finished. “You believe a woman who dumped you seventeen years ago, had no contact with you in the intervening years and treated you like shit for four years? You actually believe her!” Chris finished incredulously.

 

“Yes. I can’t give you an explanation that won’t hurt you further.” She said, thinking about the love and utter devotion she saw in Kate’s eyes for her.

 

“This is absurd!” Chris exclaimed, throwing his arms up in the air and pacing the room. “If she left you once, she’ll leave you again.”

 

Chris stopped pacing and stared into Jeri’s eyes, daring her to refute the accusation.

 

“No, she won’t.” Jeri responded with absolute surety.

 

“She’ll never be able to satisfy you!”

 

Rolling her eyes at the typical yet completely absurd statement she simply replied, “She had no problems seventeen years ago.” The look in her eyes left no room for doubt.

 

Chris gawked at her for a moment before he looked down and shook his head, she hoped in realization at what an inane comment that was. She knew from past conversations with Chris that he had no problems with women being together. However she also knew that things often looked different when the situation was suddenly in your own life.

 

“I want Ortolan,” he told her, locking gazes and walking to within five feet of her.

 

Now Jeri’s eyes flashed with barely restrained anger, her voice tight when she replied.

 

“I will not be giving up Ortolan now or ever. Should I remind you whose idea it was? Not to mention whose money mostly funded it?”

 

They angrily regarded each other for what felt to Jeri an eternity before Chris finally broke the gaze and stormed off. When she heard him pound up the stairs she released the breath she’d been holding and put her hand to her forehead.

 

“Damn it!” she cursed softly. “This is not how I wanted this to go.”

 

A moment later she heard Chris storming back down the stairs and she turned to see him carrying a suitcase with him.

 

“What are you doing?”

 

“What the hell do you care?”

 

“Of course I care, Chris. You don’t have to leave. I can stay in one of the guest rooms tonight.”

 

Despite his threats she knew he was only angry right now, rightly so and she really didn’t want to leave things like this. If he would just give her the time to explain everything fully, without the angry words passing between them, she was sure he could come to understand.

 

“I don’t want to be anywhere near you right now,” he replied with more hurt than anger now before he walked out the door.

 

Jeri jumped as the door slammed despite the fact she could see it coming. Sighing she dropped onto the couch, running her fingers through her hair. _That could have gone better._ At this stage she could only hope that some time on his own would give him the distance he needed to think things through.

 

Her eyes drifted to the clock. Only thirty minutes had passed since Chris had some in and left again. Jeri felt like it had been hours. Despite her nap she still felt exhausted.

 

“I guess having your entire life change in a day will do that to you,” she mumbled to herself, getting off the couch.

 

Jeri went about the routine of locking up the house for the night on automatic pilot. She felt too drained to think even though she knew there were a hundred and one things she needed to work out. Ortolan and the house being the main two, but she really couldn’t go for more than a minute without yawning and she needed a clear, fresh mind to work those situations out.

 

Finally the bottom half of the house was locked up and she trudged her way up the stairs to check those rooms. Entering her and Chris’s room she started to pull her clothes off and search for something comfortable to wear for the night. As she pulled on a pair of joggers and a t-shirt she shivered as a gust of cold air passed over her bare arms. Realizing she forgot to close the bedroom window she made her way over to do so just in time to see a streak of lightening flash through the black sky. A loud crack of thunder followed soon after.

 

“Great, another storm,” she sighed.

 

Jeri found herself smiling however as she settled into bed, remembering what she was doing last time she’d heard a crack of thunder. She’d been wrapped securely in Kate’s arms, kissing the woman passionately, oblivious to the rain beating down on them. Sighing with contentment at the feelings the thought brought her, she turned and automatically grabbed the pillow next to her, wanting to hold something to her body. However, smelling Chris’s cologne on it caused her to sit up in bed and replace the pillow. Suddenly sleeping in this bed didn’t feel right to her. She and Chris had purchased it together and now it no longer felt like her bed.

 

Making a decision she grabbed her own pillow and walked down the hall to one of the guest rooms. Hopping into the bed she hugged the spare, clean smelling pillow to her body and wished it was Kate instead. She was just beginning to doze off when a sharp crack of thunder woke her, causing another memory to enter her mind. It was one she hadn’t thought about in a long time and she let herself bask in the warmth it brought to her now.

 

Jeri smiled as she remembered Kate’s cute little scowl as they drove along a twisting road in the pouring rain. The redhead had been planning the trip for weeks and was infuriated at the turn the weather had taken. She knew Kate had planned for them to go boating, swimming and possibly snorkelling but now the entire weekend called for rain. However, Jeri ended up being quite thankful for the turn in the weather. Instead of a weekend filled with water sports the two had spent a very cosy, romantic weekend inside making love whenever the urge took them. Which was often. 

 

It was the place where Kate had told Jeri she loved her, but it was also the last place they’d ever spent any time together before Kate had broken it off.

 

The memory used to bring Jeri a bittersweet pain but not anymore. Briefly she thought of getting up and going to Kate but she resisted. Kate wanted her to have twenty-four hours to think about things. She didn’t want them to begin something they weren’t both prepared to follow through this time. Jeri knew Kate was being sensible but she also knew what she felt and twenty-four hours wasn’t going to change that. Nothing would.

 

Pulling the blanket up around her shoulders, Jeri snuggled into her pillow and let the knowledge that tomorrow at this time she would be wrapped in Kate’s arms, lull her into a deep sleep.

 

*****

 

Jeri heaved a heavy sigh and pushed the paper away from her as she took another drink of her water. She felt far too restless to take in the words she was reading about President Bush’s latest screw up. It was only lunchtime and she was itching to get in her car and drive over to Kate’s hotel.

 

_Why the hell did I say six PM!_

 

Momentarily she thought about going to look for the beach house she’d recalled from last night. She’d dreamed about their time together there and was now more curious than ever to find out if it was still there. She’d debated that idea with herself earlier though and decided to speak to Kate about it. The two of them could go back together.

 

Jeri had also thought about calling Chris since he hadn’t come home yet, but she decided leaving him alone would be best. He would contact her when he was ready to deal with it.

 

So, that leaves me with about five hours to fill.

 

Realistically she knew there was a number of things she could do but she couldn’t concentrate on anything for very long. Except Kate.

 

Thumping her head down onto the table she had no choice but to resign herself to the waiting.

 

*****

 

Kate paced her hotel room with worry. It was quarter past six and Jeri still hadn’t turned up. If anything she’d expected her to turn up early, not late. For the tenth time she cursed herself for not getting Jeri’s cell phone number.

 

Rationally she was positive Jeri would turn up. She had seen the love in her eyes and felt it in every kiss and touch they exchanged; Jeri would arrive. Yet emotionally Kate couldn’t help but hear that tiny, insecure part of herself whispering that maybe Jeri had changed her mind.  Kate knew better than anyone that sometimes love wasn’t enough. Yet somehow Kate knew that wasn’t the cause for Jeri’s lateness. Even if Jeri had changed her mind she would still turn up and tell Kate to her face.

 

Glancing at the wall the clock told her another ten minutes had passed and all sorts of theories started flying around in Kate’s mind. What if Chris hadn’t handled it very well when Jeri told him about them? True he appeared nice enough when Kate had briefly met him but you never really knew someone’s potential for harm until you put them in a difficult situation. Or what if Jeri had been in a car accident? Kate felt sickened at image of Jeri lying trapped, bleeding and broken in her car.

 

Taking a deep breath, Kate stopped pacing and forced herself to sit down.

 

She’s probably just delayed.

 

Then why hasn’t she called to tell you that?

 

She can’t.

 

Why?

 

She probably misplaced my number.

 

Not likely. Did you see the way she held onto that scrap of paper before she stuffed it into her pocket? No way is she going to lose that. You know what I think?

 

Shut up.

 

I think she’s –

 

Shut up!

 

Kate jumped up and resumed her pacing.

 

*****

 

Jeri tapped her fingers on the steering wheel, just barely resisting the urge to start beating it. She’d been stuck in traffic now for nearly an hour and stuck inside a damned tunnel for thirty-five minutes. The concrete surrounding her made it impossible for her to get a signal on her cell phone so she could call Kate and let her know she was going to be delayed. It was now six-thirty and she could only imagine what Kate must be thinking.

 

“Damn it!” she cursed aloud, thumping the steering wheel hard.

 

Finally after another ten minutes the traffic started to clear. Jeri was now less than five minutes from the Hilton so she opted not to bother calling now since she was so close.

 

Three and a half minutes later Jeri parked her car and sprinted into the hotel. Once she was through the doors she started to run again but noticed a few patrons giving her strange looks and she forced herself to walk, although briskly, to the elevators. She was at least grateful no one had stopped her and asked for an autograph. Thankfully all the people she passed were older and much too full of self-importance to do such a thing.

 

Arriving at the elevators she jabbed the up button repeatedly, buying into the age old falsehood that the more you press the button the faster the elevator will get to you. When it finally did arrive she quickly got in, not bothering to look up until she’d hit the button for Kate’s floor. When she did look up she was struck with the horrific scene of about ten sixteen to eighteen year old boys occupying the elevator with her. She noticed they were all already staring at her, in particular at a certain part of her anatomy but when one of them finally looked up at her face, she knew she was in trouble.

 

“Holy shit! It’s Seven of Nine!”

 

The other boys all muttered curses of agreement as Jeri cursed inwardly at the situation. She knew there was no way she was going to get out of this elevator without them following her unless she autographed something for each of them. Even then they may try to follow her.

 

She smiled at them and tried to be polite as they predictably all started searching for something for her to sign. Five of the boys riffled through their backpacks and came back up simultaneously, all shoving the same magazine in front of her.

 

Jeri stifled a groan as she saw it was the FHM magazine she’d most recently done. She’d done it and the article inside to promote Shark but at this particular moment in time she wished she hadn’t.

 

She finished signing the magazines and was moving onto just normal pieces of paper when the elevator dinged that it had arrived at a floor. Briefly looking up she was relieved to see it was three floors before her stop. They would be getting off before her so she wouldn’t have to worry about having them follow her. The boys held the elevator open while she finished signing the rest. Finally she finished and the boys got out of the elevator. As the doors shut she could hear them all carrying on about how much hotter she was in person and then one of them hollered back to her that she should come down and party with them later.

 

When the elevator doors closed she leaned against the back wall and sighed in relief. It could have been worse, she thought.

 

After a few more seconds the elevator arrived at her floor and she sprinted out down the hall. Thankfully it was empty so she didn’t have to pretend to be calm. Forgetting she had her own key card to Kate’s room she knocked on the door, held her breath and waited.

 

The door swung open two seconds later and she was greeted with worried grey-blue eyes. Immediately both women began to talk at once.

 

“Kate, I’m so sorry! I tried to call but-.”

 

“Jeri, thank God! I was so worried I-.”

 

Both women stopped and started laughing at the same time. Jeri stepped forward into the room and wrapped her arms around Kate in a firm embrace which was readily returned. Pulling back from the hug Jeri instinctively went for Kate’s lips, capturing them in a soft, heated kiss. Jeri heard Kate moan softly at the contact before breaking it a few moments later.

 

“I guess you still feel the same way,” Kate told her, voice husky.

 

Jeri controlled her raging hormones that told her to jump Kate every time she was near the woman. “Did you really doubt I would?”

 

“No, not really,” Kate smiled.

 

Jeri shivered as Kate moved her fingers over her cheek, caressing. She closed her eyes welcoming Kate’s touch.

 

“Come sit down. Tell me what happened,” Kate instructed, guiding Jeri to sit at a table.

 

Jeri sat down shaking her head. “It was ridiculous. The worst possible luck. I got stuck in traffic. By the time I realized I was going to be seriously delayed I was stuck in a damn tunnel and couldn’t get reception on my phone. Then on the way up here ten male teenagers waylaid me in the damn elevator! Can you believe five of them had a copy of the latest FHM spread I did?”

 

“Doesn’t everyone have a copy?” Kate asked innocently, a blush rising in her cheeks.

 

Jeri raised her eyebrow at her. “You don’t?”

 

Kate suddenly found something very interesting to look at on the floor. “I do.”

 

Jeri strained to hear the reply but she did, her eyebrow shooting up further. Moments later she burst out laughing causing Kate to look up sharply at her before she too broke into a fit of laughter. After a few minutes both calmed down, but still wore amused smiles.

 

“I think we both needed that,” Jeri remarked.

 

“I agree.”

 

They held each other’s gaze for a few moments before Kate spoke again.

 

“I told Tim about us. I explained everything to him. He’s having our lawyer draw up the divorce papers today.”

 

Jeri winced. “How’d he take it?”

 

“Oh he was a bit upset, but he’ll move on quickly enough once he adjusts to the idea.” Kate noticed Jeri’s eyes widen and she hastened to explain. “Tim and I have been separated for just over three years now. We stayed married as a type of comfort to each other, but any passion in the relationship died long ago. Actually, there never was any passion in the relationship.”

 

“I’m sorry,” Jeri began.

 

Kate laid her hands over Jeri’s on the table, halting the remaining words. “Don’t be sorry. I’m not and I wasn’t then. The only thing I was sorry for was ever agreeing to marry him in the first place. Not because he’s a bad husband, but because I knew even then I couldn’t love anyone like I love you. I knew you would always own my heart.” Kate stared lovingly at Jeri for a moment before continuing. “Tim was safe, comfortable and my mother adored him. I thought if I married him I could force myself to play the role of happy wife and in public I did. But behind closed doors was a very different story.” Kate stared into soft blue eyes as she continued, “I’ve wasted my entire life with socially acceptable stand-ins when who I really wanted was you. All that time I spent being afraid of what other people would think if I was involved with a woman, so much time wasted.” Kate shook her head. “Worst of all I hurt deeply the only person in this world I ever loved.”

 

Jeri couldn’t bear to hear the pain in Kate’s voice any longer. Leaning over the table she covered Kate’s trembling lips with her own. Jeri kissed Kate thoroughly until she felt the trembling disappear. Easing back she held Kate’s gaze.

 

“You’ve melted a part of me I thought frozen forever. Our love will heal us both.”

 

“You’re incredible,” Kate uttered quietly.

 

“No, I’m in love and I don’t want to see you hurting.”

 

Jeri felt Kate’s gaze intently. When her body began to hum and she had visions of herself jumping over the table and into Kate’s lap she broke the gaze and started the conversation again.

 

“I told Alex and Chris.”

 

Jeri looked back up and Kate appeared to have snapped out of the little trance they were both in as well. She nodded her head for Jeri to continue.

 

“I was amazed by how easily Alex took the news. His first concern was if you made me happy. When I told him you do, he said it might be a little strange at first, but that he’d get used to it.”

 

Jeri watched Kate nod her head, as though she expected that to be Alex’s reaction.

 

“He also told me he likes you.”

 

Jeri smirked when Kate’s head snapped up to look at her again.

 

“He told me something else as well,” Jeri began, raising her eyebrow a fraction. “He told me that you used to talk to him when I’d bring him to the set. He said you asked how I was, if I was happy and then you played with him for a while.”

 

Jeri had a hard time not breaking into hysterics at the deer in the headlights look Kate was now wearing.

 

“Jeri let me exp-.”

 

“Kate, I think it’s adorable,” Jeri interrupted; wanting to save Kate from thinking she’d done something else wrong. She took the older woman’s hand again. “I am touched to know you cared enough to ask.”

 

“I more than cared, Jeri, you know that now. And it broke my heart a little each time when he’d tell me you weren’t.”

 

Jeri’s face fell. “I always tried to hide it from him when I wasn’t happy. I always wanted him to be happy.”

 

“Every time I saw Alex he was happy,” Kate reassured. “One of the happiest little boys I’ve ever seen, but also one of the most astute when it came to his mother.”

 

Jeri allowed a half smile and nodded her head. “I could never hide anything from him.”

 

Kate squeezed Jeri’s hand once more before standing.

 

“How about a drink?”

 

“I suppose I am thirsty. A glass of water would be good.”

 

Kate retrieved a glass of water for each of them, returning to her seat and sitting the drinks on the table. After she’d taken a drink from hers she asked Jeri the question she’d been wondering about for a while.

 

“How did Chris take it?”

 

Jeri drank from own glass, sat back in the chair and sighed.

 

“That well huh?” Kate commented.

 

“Yeah, not very well at all. He couldn’t believe I was leaving him for a woman, made a typical comment about you not being able to satisfy me,” Jeri quickly met Kate’s gaze before saying, “which I promptly corrected him on.”

 

Jeri grinned and shook her head good-humouredly at the smug smirk Kate now sported.

 

“Then he told me he wanted Ortolan. I quickly corrected him on that as well,” Jeri explained, in response to Kate’s raised eyebrow. “After that he stormed out. Said he needed to be away from me. I haven’t seen him since.”

 

“I’m sorry things didn’t go better.”

 

“I expected he would be angry, but I’d hoped we could be adults about it. I’d hoped he and I could keep running Ortolan together. He really is a brilliant chef and at least in that regard we make a good team. What do you think?”

 

“You want to know what I think?” Kate asked, clearly caught off guard by the question.

 

“Yes. Would you be bothered by me working with someone I was going to marry?”

 

“Do you love him anymore?”

 

“No. I’m not sure I ever did. All I do know is that whatever I did feel for him didn't match my feelings the moment you told me you loved me.”

 

“I have no problem then.”

 

 Kate’s quiet reply conveyed to Jeri how touched she was by her words.

 

“Were you concerned I still loved him?” Jeri asked. For some reason she’d never thought that Kate might be concerned about it. She hadn’t been concerned about Tim because Kate was the one who had come after her and made it very clear she was in love with her.

 

“It had crossed my mind,” Kate admitted, averting her gaze.

 

“Look at me, Kate,” Jeri demanded gently, leaning over the table. She continued speaking when she had Kate’s gaze. “I do not love him anymore. The only person I want to be with is you.”

 

Soon they gravitated closer together until their lips were again locked in a loving embrace. Jeri found herself moving out of her seat without breaking the kiss, her tongue slipping inside Kate’s mouth. She was nearly in Kate’s lap when a cell phone rang, startling them both.

 

“Shit!” Jeri cursed. “I forgot to turn the damn thing off!”

 

Kate smiled her hands slipping off Jeri’s shoulders. “That’s all right. See who it is, it could be work or Alex.”

 

The mention of Alex snapped Jeri out of her hormone-induced trance. Moving to her purse she pulled out her phone and checked the caller ID to identify the caller.

 

“Chris.” She sighed, looking up at Kate.

 

“You should answer it.” Kate responded, rising to her feet, “I’ll go downstairs for a while and give you some privacy.”

 

“No, stay. There’s no reason for you to leave. Besides, there’s some rabid Trek fans lurking around out there,” Jeri joked.

 

Chucking, Kate sat back down. “Well, if you want some privacy, just let me know.”

 

Jeri nodded, took a deep breath and began pacing as soon as she answered the phone.

 

“Hi, Chris.”

 

Jeri modulated her voice to sound neutral. She didn’t want to appear angry or upset unduly. The fact that Chris was calling her she took as a good sign.

 

“I wasn’t sure you’d answer,” Chris said, voice also sounding neutral.

 

“Of course I’ll answer. I don’t want things to have to be this way between us.”

 

Chris was silent for a moment before he responded.

 

“I’m sorry about last night, Jeri. I had no right to say some of the things I said.”

 

“I understand. You were angry and upset.”

 

“I still love you. Your feelings may have changed for me but mine aren’t going to change overnight. Are you sure we can’t try to work this out?”

 

“I’m sorry, Chris, it’s over. I meant what I told you about Kate and I.”

 

“But this is all so sudden. Don’t you even want some time to think about it?”

 

Jeri could hear a note of pleading in his voice.

 

“I’ve already had more than enough time. I know you don’t understand. We didn’t really have time to talk about it last night. I’d be happy to meet with you and explain everything.” Jeri told him sincerely.

 

“I’d like that.” After a moment of silence he spoke again. “I suppose we should talk about what to do with Ortolan.”

 

“I’d like to keep running it together as we are,” she responded without hesitation.

 

“You would?” Chris asked surprised.

 

“Yes. You are an excellent chef and we have done very well running Ortolan together. Nothing needs to change as far as Ortolan is concerned. As long as you believe you can continue working with me.”

 

“I agree.”

 

Jeri wasn’t really surprised by his quick agreement. She knew he loved Ortolan as much as she did and he actually had more to do with the running of it now than she did since she started work on Shark.

 

“I suppose I should move out then,” he sighed.

 

“Even if only temporarily. We still need to discuss what to do about the house.”

 

“I assumed you’d want it.”

 

“I’m not sure yet.”

 

Jeri could hear she’d surprised him again. It was true though. She didn’t know what she wanted to do with the house right now. She and Kate hadn’t yet discussed what they wanted to do about living arrangements. Normally she would never consider moving in with a lover so quickly, but these were not ordinary circumstances. She was curious as to Kate’s opinion on it but they hadn’t the chance to talk about it. There was also the fact that Kate lived in New York and she in L.A. They would have to choose and Jeri really didn’t like the idea of commuting from New York to L.A.

 

“Do you want to meet for dinner and talk about what we want to do?”

 

The question from Chris snapped Jeri out of her internal queries.

 

“Now isn’t a good time. We can meet sometime tomorrow.”

 

Chris said nothing for the longest time and Jeri started to wonder if he’d hung up when he spoke again.

 

“You’re with her now, aren’t you?”

 

There was no maliciousness in his question. It was said with more of a sigh of resignation.

 

“Yes, I am.”

 

“Okay,” he said after a moment. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow then.”

 

Chris hung up before Jeri could say goodbye. She sighed as she pushed the end call button.

 

“Well, that went a lot better than last time.” She told Kate, sitting back down.

 

“But?” Kate prodded gently.

 

“How do you know there’s a ‘but’?”

 

“Intuition.”

 

Jeri grinned briefly. Kate always had the ability to make her smile no matter the situation.

 

“But I’m concerned he isn’t going to let go easily. He told me he still loves me.”

 

“I’m not surprised. This is an entirely new situation to him. Maybe once you’ve met with him again and explained everything he will understand better.”

 

“Maybe… I just wonder if staying partners with him in Ortolan is a good idea. I don’t want him viewing that as something more than it is.”

 

Kate leaned forward, putting her hand on Jeri’s knee.

 

“Just give him some time. If there are any problems, I’ll be right there beside you.”

 

Jeri met Kate’s dark blue gaze and found herself getting lost in it. She caught a hint of Kate’s perfume and automatically inhaled deeply. The warmth of Kate’s hand started to permeate her jeans. She imagined that warmth moving from her knee to slide up her thigh.

 

I can’t control myself around her. It’s been far too long.

 

A twinge between her legs made her jump out of her seat and over to Kate where she straddled the woman’s lap. Jeri swallowed Kate’s surprised gasp with a hungry kiss. She ran her hands through Kate’s hair and down the woman’s back, dragging her nails on the way back up, causing Kate to groan. Jeri broke the kiss, moving her lips along Kate’s jaw line now, making her way to a sensitive earlobe.

 

“We shouldn’t do this here. There’s somewhere else…I don’t-.”

 

Kate lost coherent thought when Jeri’s hot mouth enveloped her earlobe and started to suck. Jeri grinned to herself when Kate’s head fell back and a low moan escaped.

 

Then, much to Jeri’s consternation, she heard the ringing of a cell phone again. On the second ring she knew it wasn’t hers.

 

“Kate,” she whispered, around chewing gently on soft flesh.

 

“Mmm…” Kate moaned in reply.

 

“Your phone’s ringing.”

 

“Let it ring,” she husked back.

 

Jeri was prepared to do just that, but once the ringing stopped, it started up again only seconds later.

 

“I think it’s important,” she murmured around tasting Kate’s pulse point. They’re calling again.” Jeri stopped the pleasant torture her lips were dispensing and looked down into Kate’s half-closed eyes.

 

Jeri reached behind her onto the table and grabbed Kate’s phone, handing it to her.

 

“How am I supposed to hold a conversation with someone with you sitting in my lap?” Kate asked, voice still heavy with desire.

 

“I’m going into the bathroom. You’ve got two minutes.” Jeri leaned forward again, her mouth pressed to Kate’s ear as she whispered, “Then I’m going to come back out and devour you.”

 

Kate groaned at the teasing promise, smiling sensuously at Jeri as she watched her walk out of the room.

 

“Oh my God,” were the first words Jeri heard as she stepped back out of the bathroom. Then Kate followed with, “I’ll be there as quickly as possible.” Jeri was immediately concerned and was at Kate’s side instantly.

 

“What’s wrong?” Jeri asked once Kate had ended the call.

 

Kate turned to face her with a stricken look that caused Jeri’s stomach to clench with anxiety.

 

“That was my son, Ian. My apartment building in New York caught fire.”

 

“Oh God! How did that happen? Was anyone hurt?”

 

Kate sat down and Jeri kneeled next to her, taking her hand in silent support.

 

“No one was hurt. They’re not sure how it started yet. The police are investigating.”

 

“Did Ian say how much damage there was to your apartment?”

 

“It’s a fairly large building. The fire didn’t start on my floor. From what Ian has been told there is only smoke and water damage. They were able to stop it before the flames reached my apartment.”

 

“I’m so sorry, Kate.” Jeri said, embracing her.

 

“I’m just grateful they were able to stop it before it spread to my apartment. Still, they told Ian there could still be damage to my furniture and belongings due to the smoke and water.”

 

Jeri could feel Kate take a shuddering breath before saying quietly, “What a mess.”

 

Jeri continued to hold her close, rubbing a hand up and down her back comfortingly.

 

“You’re going to have to go back,” Jeri said matter-of-factly. She didn’t let her voice convey the disappointment she felt. She didn’t want Kate feeling bad about something which was completely out of her control.

 

Kate moved her head from Jeri’s shoulder and looked at her.

 

“Yes. I’m so sorry. The last thing I want to do right now is leave but I have to.”

 

“Don’t be sorry,” Jeri started, wrapping the older woman in a hug again when she saw tears start to form in her eyes. “This is in no way your fault. It’s completely beyond your control.”

 

“I don’t want to leave you right now. I know you’re afraid to trust me again and with good reason. I don’t want you fearing I won’t come back.”

 

“Oh, Kate, I am not thinking that at all and I’m not going to think that.” Meeting Kate’s gaze again she continued. “I know you love me. I know you’ll be back as soon as you can be.”

 

“I will be. A week at the most. But I’m hoping for sooner. I’ll call you everyday.”

 

“I’ll look forward to it,” Jeri smiled. “I wish I could go with you for support.”

 

“I know you have commitments to Shark you can’t break. I’ll be okay. Ian is going to be there.”

 

Jeri nodded.

 

“Ian already made reservations for me on a flight that leaves at 10:00PM.”

 

Jeri checked the clock. “Ninety minutes. You don’t have much time. Do you want me to help you pack?”

 

“Thank you,” Kate responded emotionally. Jeri could see from the look in her eyes she meant more than just the surface statement with those two words.

 

*****

 

Kate accepted Jeri’s offer to drive her to the airport and the two were now parked outside Kate’s terminal.

 

“I really don’t want to leave you,” Kate told Jeri, still holding the hand she’d held for the entire drive to LAX.

 

“I know. You have to. I’ll be waiting for you when you come back. We’ll pick up right where we left off,” Jeri said with a playful wink.

 

Kate’s lips curved into a half smile, her mind racing back to the feel of Jeri in her lap before she’d received the disastrous phone call.

 

“I’ll think of nothing else,” she purred back, taking Jeri in her arms.

 

“Have I ever told you your voice drives me wild?”

 

Kate let out a deep, throaty chuckle. “I’ll remember that when we talk on the phone,” she promised, hot breath tracing Jeri’s ear.

 

Jeri shivered in response.

 

Reluctantly untangling herself from the embrace, Kate kissed Jeri deeply before opening the car door and stepping out.

 

“I love you,” Kate said, leaning back in the car momentarily.

 

“I love you,” Jeri replied smiling. “Call me anytime day or night if you need anything.”

 

“I will.”

 

Kate gave Jeri one of those dazzling smiles that took her breath away before she shut the car door and disappeared into the busy airport.

 

*****

 

Jeri fumed as she stormed out of the restaurant. She’d barely managed to restrain herself from slapping him. The audacity of the bastard! She should really just buy him out, fire him and be done with it!

 

Nearly at her car she pressed the remote in her hand and heard the familiar beep signalling the car was now disarmed and unlocked. Angrily opening the door she slammed it as she sat down and tried to calm her breathing before she tried to drive in the busy L.A. traffic.

 

Kate had been gone now for three days. She’d kept herself busy with work and talking a lot to Alex. She needed to keep making sure he was okay with everything even though every time she asked he gave her an annoyed look and told her he had no problems with it. She knew she was being overly paranoid about his feelings on the matter, but she was his mother; she couldn’t help it.

 

Between working on Shark, talking with Alex and spending time talking to Kate on the phone, she hadn’t made the time to meet with Chris. Until today. At the moment she sorely wished she hadn’t.

 

Everything had been going along smoothly for the entire lunch. They discussed managing Ortolan together and she had told him the entire story of what had happened between her and Kate seventeen years ago and since. He actually sounded sympathetic at times and she really thought they’d be able to be friends. She’d been unsure since their previous phone conversation and after a few chats with Kate about it. Jeri had explained to Kate how she and Chris had never been friends to begin with. They didn’t build a friendship before they started seeing each other romantically. All they’d ever known of each other was lovers and she wondered if it was even possible that he’d be able to deal with going from that to trying to build a friendship. Of course while they were involved they considered each other friends as well as lovers but the one seemed intrinsically tied in with the other and she didn’t think for him the friendship could survive without being lovers as well. Looks like her gut instinct had been correct after all.

 

They were enjoying dessert and chatting about a few decorative changes to Ortolan when her cell phone rang. She checked the ID and saw it was Kate. It wasn’t a normal time for Kate to call and she quickly answered the phone, greeting her by name. Kate recognized her worried tone in that one word and immediately assuaged her fears, explaining that everything was fine, she just wanted to hear Jeri’s voice. Warmth suffused Jeri’s body at the tender words and she told Kate she missed her too and was counting the days until she returned from New York. Chris cleared his throat at that moment, reminding her he was there and Jeri told Kate she was having the meeting with Chris and would call her back as soon as they were done. She hung up after an “I love you.” After putting her phone away, she looked up to see Chris looking decidedly jealous. A moment later he spoke and the change in him from minutes before shocked her.

 

“She’s left already. Back to her home in New York? You really think she’s coming back?” Chris nearly taunted, words dripping with venom.

 

Jeri was too shocked to say anything at first. She just gawked at him like he was a stranger.

 

“She’s used you, Jeri. For whatever reason she has used you again just like she did seventeen years ago. She’s screwed you and your head and now she’s gone.”

 

Adrenaline pounded through her body at the anger she now felt infusing her. Slowly she stood up, her gaze drilling angrily into his. Her voice was low and menacing.

 

“You have no fucking idea what you’re talking about. Kate is over there because her apartment caught fire and she has to deal with the mess of that. If you ever speak of her in such a derogatory manner again I will make you very, very sorry.”

 

Without waiting for a response from him she turned and strode from the restaurant.

 

Now she was in her car, debating whether or not she shouldn’t just march back in there and buy him out of his share of Ortolan. She understood he was angry and jealous but nothing excused what he just said to her.

 

Hastily she picked up her cell and dialled Kate’s number. She answered on the second ring.

 

“I’m going to buy him out and fire him.”

 

It wasn’t the way she normally would start a conversation with Kate but she was so angry right now she couldn’t think straight. Kate centred her; she needed that now.

 

“What happened?” Kate asked, concerned.

 

“That… bastard had a few things to say about you being in New York at the moment.”

 

“Tell me.”

 

Jeri quickly related what Chris had said and what she said to him in turn. Kate was quiet for a few moments while she digested the information.

 

“Don’t buy him out. Don’t fire him. He reacted before he knew why I was here and he’s only speaking out of jealousy and hatred for me.”

 

Jeri felt dumbstruck. “Why are you going so easy on him? You know he hates you and is talking bullshit about you, yet you don’t think I should just get him out of both our lives?”

 

“I’m not defending his words or his behaviour, but I know where he’s coming from.”

 

“Excuse me?” Jeri asked feeling completely confused now.

 

“I know what it’s like to lose you. I know what it’s like to think about you in the arms of someone else, loving someone else. I know how hard that was even though I brought it on myself. I can only imagine how hard it is to helplessly sit back and lose you to someone else. I don’t think I’d handle it nearly as well as he is.”

 

Jeri was stunned into silence. She had no idea Kate had thought about those things.

 

“You are never going to know what that’s like again,” she promised.

 

A knock on her car window startled her, nearly causing her to drop the phone. She looked up to see Chris. He couldn’t see her through the tinted windows but she’d turned the car on before, a dead giveaway she was inside.

 

“Is it Chris?” Kate asked. “I heard the knock,” she explained before Jeri could ask.

 

“Yes, it is,” she replied with disdain.

 

“My bet is he wants to apologize. I’ll call you back tonight at our normal time.”

 

“Just a minute,” she told Kate before rolling down her window.

 

“I’ll be with you in a minute,” she told Chris, voice filled with resentment.

 

“Kate,” she directed back into the phone, her window rolled up again, resentment replaced with affection. “I love you, I miss you and thank you.”

 

Jeri could hear Kate’s smile, “And I love and miss you. Try not to bite his head off,” she added, chuckling slightly.

 

“I make no promises,” she chuckled. “Talk to you soon. Bye.”

 

Both women hung up and Jeri took a few deep breaths before opening her window. Chris was immediately apologetic.

 

“Jeri, I am so sorry. I was an asshole. I had no right to speak about things I know nothing about. I assumed she’d just made up an excuse and went back to New York. I’m sorry, I still love you and… I’m just sorry. I was wrong.”

 

Chris lowered his head shamefully. Jeri thought about what Kate said as well as Chris’s sincere sounding apology for a few minutes before she replied.

 

“We were getting along well before that happened. That is what I want for us. But Chris, if something like this happens again…” Jeri left the rest unsaid. She knew she didn’t need to say it.

 

“It won’t.” He sighed. “I think it’s probably best if I stay out of your life for a while. I think I need the distance right now if there’s any hope of us salvaging a friendship from this.”

 

Jeri nodded, thinking the same thing.

 

“I agree. I have a lot of screen time coming up in Shark so I won’t be around Ortolan very much for a while. I’ll call ahead if I need to come by for anything so you’re aware of it.”

 

Chris nodded his agreement.

 

“I’ll talk to you later then. Take care of yourself,” she told him sincerely before she shifted the car into drive.

 

“You too,” Chris replied.

 

*****

 

Kate placed her phone back onto the handset, keeping her hand lightly pressed to it for a few seconds, not wanting to fully part with her only connection to Jeri at the moment. No, that wasn’t exactly right she corrected herself, she felt very connected to Jeri. More so than she could ever remember feeling. From the moment Jeri told her she loved her she felt a connection with her that nothing could break. 

 

Still, she missed Jeri more than she thought possible. She’d only been away for three days but it felt like a year. Every moment she was awake she ached to be with Jeri and every moment she was asleep she dreamed of being with her.

 

How did I ever live without her?

 

She didn’t know but she did know she never wanted to live without her again.

 

Kate admitted to herself it slightly alarmed her how much she felt she needed Jeri. They hadn’t even spent a full day together yet, had not even made love and already she felt as if part of her was missing without having Jeri by her side. She’d never felt that before with any of her previous partners.

 

You never loved them like this.

 

Kate chuckled at the complete truth of the statement. Jeri made her feel things more deeply than she thought possible and she fully embraced all those feelings. So what if she felt incomplete without Jeri, she was in love, that’s how it’s supposed to feel! She couldn’t wait until she could fly back to L.A. and hold that beautiful woman in her arms again.

 

She felt her pulse rate suddenly jump a notch at the images holding Jeri brought into her mind. Running her fingers through long blonde hair, feeling soft, silky skin pressed against hers. Arms urging her downward where fingers would tangle in her hair and long legs would wrap around her shoulders while she-

 

Kate forcibly stopped that train of thought and roughly shook her head, trying to clear it. She’d been driving herself crazy with thoughts of making love to Jeri ever since leaving L.A. It had been so long and they’d come so close on a number of occasions. Though she was glad her cell phone ringing interrupted them during their last close call, even if it was bad news, because she really didn’t want their first time after seventeen years to be in a hotel room again. Too reminiscent of their past affair. She wanted it to be special and she had the perfect place for it. In the meantime however her body was practically vibrating whenever she spoke to or thought of Jeri.

 

Standing from the chair she was seated in she went into the small hotel bathroom to splash some cold water on her face. Another hotel room she thought with distaste. She was getting sick of damn hotel rooms. A few family members, including her sons, had offered her to stay with them but she’d declined. More now than ever she felt as if she needed her own space and since her apartment was a mess right now, this would have to suffice.

 

Thinking of her burned out apartment led her to think about living arrangements. She and Jeri had yet to discuss anything but it seemed a given that she was going to go stay in L.A., at least for a time. Jeri had a full time job there as well as Ortolan. Kate felt given both those things she would probably be saying goodbye to New York and making L.A. her home again. She loved living in New York but she loved Jeri more and she really had nothing keeping her in New York. She was working on The Black Donnellys now, but her part in that series was small enough that she would only need to commute to New York occasionally to fulfil her commitments. So, given the circumstances, Kate started to think about where she would make her home in L.A. She had a place she could live, but it was about an hour’s drive out of L.A. and that was too far away from Jeri.

 

Immediately that led her to think of moving in with Jeri. She normally would never consider living with a lover so quickly but this was an entirely different situation. She found herself wanting nothing more than to live with the woman she loved as soon as possible. However, she didn’t know if Jeri felt the same. For the moment she decided to just live in the property she owned just outside of L.A. Once she told Jeri about the place she hoped it would naturally open up conversation about living together. Or if it didn’t then at least Kate would know it wasn’t something Jeri wanted right now. That would disappoint her but she would understand. Jeri was already going through enough.

 

Thinking back to their recent conversation she hoped everything had gone all right with Chris once they’d hung up. She was relieved Chris wasn’t making personal attacks on Jeri. Let him sling his arrows her way, she could understand that. However if he attacked Jeri’s character in such a way, she would not be so understanding.

 

Checking the clock she saw she had two hours before she’d normally call Jeri. That gave her just enough time to run down to the insurance office to sign more claim forms for her apartment. Only two more days of signing and evaluations by the redecorators before she could go back to Jeri. It couldn’t come soon enough. 

 

*****

 

Jeri cursed under her breath as an assistant to executive producer Ian Biederman called out her name and ran to catch up to her. She had almost made it out of the building. She’d received a call four hours ago to come in on her day off to re-shoot some scenes making her postpone her call with Kate. She’d phoned Kate just as she was leaving the house to let her know and if she didn’t get out of here now, she was going to miss the time again!

 

Stifling a sigh she turned to the assistant, “Hi Roxette, what can I do for you?”

 

“Mr. Biederman wants to talk to you,” she informed her smiling.

 

“Now?” Jeri asked, her heart sinking. If she had to speak to Ian now there was absolutely no way she’d make it home in time to talk to Kate.

 

“Yes.” Roxette answered simply, giving no further information. Jeri didn’t really expect any.

 

“Alright. Just let me make a quick call first.”

 

Roxette nodded and moved some feet away to give Jeri privacy while she made her call. Dialling the now familiar number she felt a large smile play over her lips when she heard Kate’s voice.

 

“Hello darling,” Kate purred. “You’re early. I was going to call you in thirty minutes.”

 

Jeri let herself get lost in the seductive tones before she replied, “I know that’s why I’m calling. I was just leaving the studio and I’ve now been summoned to meet with the Executive Producer. I have no idea what he wants to speak with me about or how long the meeting is going to go on for. Whatever it is I’ll try to make it quick.”

 

“Is everything okay?”

 

“Everything is fine as far as I know. I’ll let you know what it was about once I can talk to you for a decent length of time,” Jeri said, sounding frustrated.

 

“It’s alright, it actually suits me as well. I’m caught up in a typical New York traffic jam and don’t think I’ll be home for another hour. I just planned to call and talk with you on my cell.”

 

“I thought I heard horns honking.”

 

“Yes, you have to admire the patience of New Yorkers,” Kate joked. “Tim phoned me not long after we hung up from talking about Chris. He’s in town on business and invited me out to dinner.”

 

Instantly the mention of Tim’s name caused an irrational surge of jealousy to run through Jeri. The thought of Kate having a nice, quiet, intimate dinner with her soon to be ex-husband did not sit well with her despite knowing everything she did.

 

“Oh,” Jeri finally said after moments of silence.

 

“Jeri, I love you. It was just dinner with a friend,” Kate assured, reading Jeri’s mind.

 

“Of course,” she responded quickly, feeling ridiculous.

 

“He gave me the divorce papers.”

 

Jeri’s jealousy vanished instantly, a wide smiling coming to her face. “That’s great!”

 

Kate chuckled, “Yes, it is!”

 

“I don’t think I’ve ever been so happy about someone getting their divorce papers before,” Jeri laughed. “That was damn fast,” she added.

 

“There are perks to being a politician.”

 

The sound of heels walking toward her caused Jeri to turn around to see Roxette.

 

“Ms. Ryan, we really must go. I just received a page from Mr. Biederman.”

 

Jeri could hear the anxiety in the young woman’s voice and nodded at her.

 

“I better go. I think Ian’s assistant will have a break down if I don’t go up there this very second,” Jeri told her, chuckling lightly.

 

Kate responded in kind before saying, “Okay. I’m sure whatever it is it’s not a problem. I’ll call you in an hour. If I don’t get you, I’ll try every twenty minutes until I do,” Kate smiled.

 

“You better,” she bantered back. “I love you.”

 

“And I you.”

 

Ending the call she strode quickly to where Roxette was practically leaping out of her skin waiting for her.

 

“Lead the way,” she said with a smile.

 

*****

 

Entering Ian’s office Jeri put on her best smile as the man rose from his chair to greet her.

 

“Jeri! It’s wonderful to see you again. Please, sit down,” he offered, shaking her hand and gesturing at the two plush leather chairs in front of his desk.

 

“Thank you, Ian,” she replied, settling into one of the chairs.

 

“I’m sorry to grab you on your way out. I meant to speak with you when you first arrived but somehow time slipped away from me.”

 

“No problem,” Jeri lied. She liked Ian and they got along well but didn’t know each other in any way besides work. She wasn’t about to tell him he’d interrupted her mad dash home so she could talk with her female partner. She’d cross that bridge if and when she came to it.

 

“I wanted to talk to you about the direction of the show, and more specifically your character. At the end of this season we want to bring in another strong female character for you to play off. You and James are great on screen but we want to give your character more… energy.”

 

Jeri looked at him with confusion, not really sure what he was considering. She and James worked very well together and while she thought the romantic chemistry just wasn’t there, certainly they played off each other well.

 

“We can’t use Sarah, frankly she looks too much like you and she’s too young. We want a fire and ice dynamic between you and another female lead.”

 

“Lead?” Jeri asked, surprised.

 

“Well, not lead exactly, but she would get considerable air time with you.”

 

“Ian, I don’t get a lot of air time anyway,” Jeri saw him raise his eyebrow at the remark and quickly went on to clarify. “Not that I’m complaining. I’m not.”

 

Ian smiled, “Well, that’s going to change. We haven’t ironed out all the details yet, but Jessica Devlin will be having much more screen time next season. Specifically with this new character.”

 

“And the character is going to be?”

 

“The mayor.”

 

“We already have a mayor.”

 

“We won’t as of episode twenty. You’ll see it in the script when you get it,” he said, brushing off her puzzlement. “The point is we are going to bring in a new female mayor. We know just the person we want to play this part and I thought maybe you could talk to her and see if she’s interested.”

 

“I know her?” Jeri asked, very confused.

 

“She’s one of your old co-stars, Kate Mulgrew.”

 

If Jeri hadn’t already been sitting she would be now. She swore she could actually see the room spin somewhat as she focused her eyes again. Before she could say anything Ian was off and running with his thoughts.

 

“I pulled the script writers together and talked about it at length. You two had unbelievable chemistry when you were filming Star Trek Voyager together and we want to bring that chemistry to Shark. I called her agent myself today but was told she was busy with an emergency right now and that Ms. Mulgrew isn’t actively looking for any further work commitments at the moment. I left my number and told her to have Ms. Mulgrew contact me but I thought if you spoke to her as well it couldn’t hurt. I know she has The Black Donnellys show she’s doing but the part we’re offering her is much more than the one she has on there. What do you think?” He asked, reclining in his chair with his hands behind his head.

 

“Chemistry?” Jeri mumbled faintly.

 

Ian sat forward excitedly, voice getting louder and causing Jeri’s eyes to grow wider with each word. “Absolutely! You two played off each other on Voyager flawlessly! It was almost like the two of you could read each other’s minds. You both knew what you wanted from the other and that showed on camera!”

 

“It did?” Jeri nearly squeaked, quickly clearing her throat to get control of her voice again. 

 

“You two are fire and ice. The perfect dynamic to create strong tension and climactic highs!”

 

Jeri made a choking noise and felt her cheeks turning a bright shade of red.

 

“Are you okay, Jeri?” Ian asked, concerned.

 

Jeri sucked in a lungful of air. “Yeah, fine.”

 

“Let me get you a glass of water.”

 

Ian was out of his chair and filling a glass for her before she could object. He was back just as quickly and handed it to her.

 

“So, do you think you could talk to her? Feel her out a little?”

 

Jeri choked on the water she was trying to swallow. Ian took the glass from her shaking hand and set it down before she dropped it.

 

“Jeri!” He exclaimed patting her on the back as her face turned redder.

 

She held out her hand, signalling for him to stop. “I’m fine, I’m fine, just give me a minute.”

 

Ian nodded and went back behind his desk to sit down. He waited patiently while Jeri got her breath back.

 

Chemistry, what we wanted from each other, tension, climatic highs, feel her out! Jesus! Jeri forced herself to filter those words out so she could concentrate on the rest of what Ian was telling her. While she got her breath back she thought about what it would be like to work with Kate again. She found herself instantly warming to the idea of actually working with Kate this time instead of around her as she had on Voyager. 

 

“You said her agent said she’s not looking for more work right now?”

 

“Yeah. I thought it strange since she’s not doing much in the way of acting at the moment.”

 

Jeri nodded her head, decision made. “Okay, I’ll talk to her. I’m going to be seeing her soon and I’ll discuss it with her then.”

 

Ian stood up, enthusiastic. “Great! I’m going out of town for a week but when I come back I’ll set up a meeting.”

 

Jeri nodded her head again and stood to leave.

 

“Thanks for your time, Jeri!” Ian called out, still jovial, as she opened his door.

 

“No problem.” Still dazed, she shut the door and made her way out of the building.

 

*****

 

Kate tried unsuccessfully to stifle another yawn as she read a book and waited to phone Jeri. She’d tried to phone the other woman fifteen minutes ago but received no answer. So true to her word she would try again in five minutes until she reached her. As long as she could stay awake that long. It was only eleven-thirty but exhaustion was slowly creeping over her. However, she knew she’d stay awake as long as needed for her to hear Jeri’s entrancing laugh again.

 

She also felt more anxious than usual to speak to Jeri, she was sure the meeting with the Executive Producer had been nothing to worry about but she couldn’t help worrying a little. The last thing Jeri needed right now were complications in her working life.

 

The phone started ringing at that moment, causing Kate’s book to drop from her hands in surprise. She leaned over to the bedside table and checked the caller ID. When she identified the caller she immediately picked up, a large grin on her lips.

 

“I couldn’t wait a minute longer,” Jeri told her before she could say anything.

 

Kate chuckled, low and throaty, the one she knew caused goose bumps to run up and down Jeri’s perfect white flesh. “I was just about to try you again in a few minutes.”

 

“Now I’ve saved you the trouble.”

 

“Nothing about you is trouble.”

 

“I can’t believe you’ve only been gone three days,” Jeri sighed with longing.

 

“I know. I miss you too,” Kate empathized. They shared a moment of silence before Kate asked, “How did your meeting go?”

 

Jeri gave a short bark of laughter. “Oh you will not believe it!” she exclaimed before breaking down into fits of laughter.

 

Both Kate’s eyebrows rose off her forehead at Jeri’s mirth wondering what on earth could possibly be so hysterical. “Do tell.”

 

Ten minutes later Kate was rolling with laughter in her bed as Jeri finished relaying her conversation with Ian Biederman. “Oh my God, Jeri,” she started, wiping the beginnings of tears from her eyes.

 

“I know! I was having a hard enough time concentrating on anything he said after he said your name. But then when he started talking about our on-screen chemistry I lost all chance of thinking straight again after that! When he asked me to feel you out I really thought I might pass out!”

 

Both women broke down into hysterics, Kate thinking about Jeri’s reactions and Jeri reliving the conversation in her head. When they both calmed Jeri spoke again.

 

“So, what do you think?”

 

“I never thought I’d have the opportunity to work with you again,” Kate said and she could hear Jeri quietly breathe in a lung full of air and hold it, “but I love the idea.”

 

Jeri let the breath out in a quick whoosh with a short, relieved laugh at the end. “I love the idea as well.”

 

“The only problem I can see is that I’ve already committed to The Black Donnelly’s for the first season.”

 

“Well, from what Ian tells me they don’t plan on bringing in the new Mayor until the very end of this season. He said something about the current Mayor being written out in episode twenty-two. I think there are only twenty-four episodes this season, maybe only twenty-three. I’m not entirely sure. But they won’t require a great deal of your time for probably six months yet. Maybe more.”

 

“My role on The Black Donnelly’s isn’t very big. I think in season one I only appear in about ten episodes and very short appearances in those. It shouldn’t be a problem. I can probably do both but I’ll wait to make any final decisions until I speak with Ian and get more details from him.”

 

“Sounds good.”

 

Kate could tell the way Jeri trailed off on the last word she had more to say but for some reason was hesitant.

 

“Yes?” Kate prompted.

 

Jeri chuckled lightly, “You’re too good at reading me already. I was just curious… your agent told Ian that you weren’t currently looking for work?”

 

“That’s correct. I spoke with him yesterday and told him that besides The Black Donnellys I would be taking on no further work commitments at this time.”

 

“Why?”

 

Despite not being able to see Jeri, Kate could envision the look of confusion. “I want to give everything I am to this relationship. One full time working actress is stressful enough on a relationship.” Kate paused, trying to organize her thoughts on the matter. “I’m already going to have to fly to New York several times for my working commitments here. I don’t want to live separate lives. Too often that’s the trap two full time actors fall into. I don’t want that to happen to us.”

 

“And you call me incredible,” Jeri murmured, touched. “But Kate?”

 

“Mmm?”

 

“I don’t want you to give up something you love so much. You’ll only end up resenting me for it later.”

 

“No. My priorities have changed. I’ve found something I love more than acting,” Kate explained sincerely.

 

Jeri’s eyes began to tear up but Kate couldn’t see that; she did however hear the choked emotion in the younger woman’s voice when she next spoke.

 

“I guess Shark is the perfect solution then.” Jeri remarked, smiling lightly.

 

“It does look as though things are falling together for us in ways I wouldn’t have expected them to.”

 

“I take it from what you’ve said then that means you’re planning on moving back to L.A.?” Jeri asked, hopeful.

 

“Of course I am!” Kate exclaimed. “I don’t want a long distance relationship with you. These five days are killing me enough as it is!” Kate laughed.

 

Jeri returned a laugh of agreement before she continued. “When I had lunch with Chris today, before I stormed out, we discussed the house.”

 

Kate held her breath. “Yes?”

 

“He told me I could have it, but I don’t feel right about that for a couple of reasons. One, we did pay for it together; I don’t want to take his money. Second, I want you and I to pick out a house together we both love so it feels as much as home to you as it does to me. So, I told Chris we should sell the house and split what we get for it. What do you think?”

 

Kate expelled the breath and laughed in delight. “I think that’s a fantastic idea!”

 

Jeri laughed with relief. “I’m so glad to hear you say that. I almost lost the nerve to ask you. I mean, it’s so soon.”

 

“I know it appears that way, but I feel like I’ve wasted enough time waiting. Besides we will still have to wait out the time until we find a place. I have some place I can stay until then.”

 

“Not a hotel I hope. I don’t want you living out of one of those for what could be months.”

 

“No, not a hotel,” Kate said cryptically.

 

“You’re not going to tell me?”

 

“Nope. I’m going to show you once I get back.”

 

Jeri’s eyebrow quirked curiously, “I’ll look forward to it. How long until you get back do you think?”

 

“I should only be here another two days, but it’s possible it will be three if there are delays.” Kate sighed. “I wish I was leaving on the next plane out.”

 

“Once you do get back here I’m not going to let you out of my sight for days.”

 

Kate grinned, imagining where she planned to spend her time as soon as she had Jeri in her arms again.

 

The sound of a buzzer interrupted both their thoughts and Jeri cursed under her breath as she turned it off.

 

“Sorry Kate, I have to go. I have to pick Alex up from soccer practice.”

 

“That’s running pretty late,” Kate commented, thinking it was about eight-thirty at night in L.A. right now.

 

“Yeah, they decided to put in some more practice because they were rained out three days ago. They have a big game in two weeks.”

 

“Okay. Maybe tell Alex I say hi if you want,” Kate offered tentatively.

 

Jeri smiled, “I will.”

 

“I’ll talk to you tomorrow then,” Kate told her, trying to stifle another yawn, but failing this time.

 

“Sweet dreams,” Jeri said, imagining how great it would be to sleep with Kate beside her soon.

 

“Good night.”

 

“Night.”

 

Kate replaced the receiver and pulled the blankets around her shoulders, snuggling down into them. She felt relaxed and content after speaking with Jeri, she always did. Closing her eyes she let herself drift off to sleep with the thought of how it would feel to soon have Jeri wrapped in her arms again.

 

*****

 

The wind whipped through Kate’s hair as she drove along the highway with the top of her Mercedes convertible down. It was a beautiful L.A. night and she sucked in a breath of fresh ocean air before she got back into the heart of the city. She felt alive and reckless. She finally felt as if life had no limits for her. She could have anything she wanted.

 

She’d arrived back in L.A. from New York two hours ago. Immediately she picked up her rental and headed for the house she owned. Jeri wasn’t expecting her for another three hours and she had some planning to put into action for the beautiful blonde before she picked her up from the set of Shark.

 

Jeri had called her before she left New York today and told Kate that Alex had volunteered to go away on a weekend camping trip with this best friend so the two of them could reconnect. After laughing over the young boy’s mature wording she asked Jeri if he always spoke like such an adult. Jeri laughed, replying that he confessed to her he picked it up off some movie he’d watched that week. Kate had asked Jeri if she was positive it was okay for them to have the weekend together and Jeri reassured. Alex was at that age where he didn’t want to hang out with his mom all the time. Kate had laughed, knowing that stage very well from her own two sons. So Jeri told her she’d take a cab into work and Kate could pick her up at eight when her filming should be finished for the day. Kate agreed, not telling Jeri that she’d moved her flight ahead a few hours and would be arriving earlier.

 

Now she couldn’t wait to pick the woman up and make the drive back to the house with her. The look on Jeri’s face would be priceless. Noticing it was already seven-thirty she stepped on it, hoping she wasn’t going to end up late.

 

Thirty-five minutes later she got out of her car and started walking toward the studio. She got no more than five paces before Jeri walked out of the building. Kate’s breath was momentarily taken away as a gust of wind brushed over Jeri, causing blonde hair to blow wildly. The long, light cotton skirt she wore clung against her body, as did the silk shirt she had on. Eyes were hidden behind dark, black sunglasses. Jeri hadn’t spotted her yet, instead distracted by chatting to a colleague as she walked out. When the colleague moved off Jeri’s eyes roamed the parking lot briefly before falling on Kate. A large smile spread across full lips as the tall woman strode quickly toward her.

 

Kate felt like running to Jeri and wrapping her in her arms. It had only been six days but it felt like eternity. It should only have been five but due to some last minute delays she’d had to stay over in New York an extra night. Now it was all she could do not to run into Jeri’s arms. Struggling against the urge due to there being a hundred other people around, she returned the smile and pressed the button to unlock the car. Jeri walked quickly past her to the passenger side of the car, throwing her a knowing look over the top of her glasses before she opened the door and slid inside. Kate took a moment to look up at the heavens and smile in silent prayerful thanks before she opened her own door. 

 

As soon as the door closed and the tinted windows of the car prevented prying eyes from observing them, Kate felt Jeri’s hands grab her head as she brought their lips together in what soon became a very heated kiss.

 

“God I missed you.” Kate moaned as they finally parted for some much needed air.

 

She shivered with expectation as Jeri’s eyes hungrily travelled over her body. Jeri leaned closer again, running her hand through Kate’s hair, staring into her eyes before lowering her head for another kiss.

 

When the kiss ended this time she moved her mouth to Kate’s ear and whispered, “Take me somewhere, anywhere, and make me yours again.”

 

Kate swallowed hard at the seductive command. “I have just the place,” she managed to reply, fumbling with the car keys for a moment before getting them into the ignition.

 

Soon they were cruising out on the open road, heading out of L.A. Kate actually found herself a bit nervous and silently chuckled at herself. All this time she’d been waiting for this moment and now that it was nearly here she was nervous! She wasn’t thirty-four anymore after all but fifty-one and hadn’t indulged in a night of passion in years. Jeri was only thirty-eight and in her sexual prime. They stopped at a set of traffic lights and Kate took what was supposed to be a quick glance at Jeri. However her gaze ended up lingering and Jeri caught her, giving her a seductive smile and moving her hand to Kate’s thigh where she caressed lightly.

 

She’s in her sexual prime and she’s mine. She wants me!

 

Suddenly Kate felt giddy as anticipation coiled even more tightly in her stomach. The light changed to green and she stepped hard on the gas, causing the tyres to squeal slightly as the car lunged forward into the night.

 

“In a hurry for some reason?” Jeri asked, chuckling with amusement.

 

Kate let the comment pass until they stopped at the next set of lights. Then she leaned close to Jeri and spoke in a low growl with deliberate intent. “If you run your fingers any higher up my thigh I’m going to pull over on the side of the road and we’ll never make it to the comfort of a bed.”

 

Kate moved back just in time for the light to turn green and this time she took off with more grace, feeling herself stepping onto equal footing with Jeri’s sexual appetite. Sparing a glance at Jeri she found the younger woman giving her a crooked half smile. The fingers had ceased their torturous journey but Jeri left the hand resting on her thigh.

 

“So, where are you taking me anyway?” Jeri asked. Curiosity tempering her raging libido for the time being.

 

Kate shook her head, “Uh uh, that’s a surprise,” she answered, bestowing a knowing grin Jeri’s direction.

 

“Can I at least know how long the drive will be?” Jeri laughed.

 

“About another thirty minutes.”

 

Jeri nodded and reclined fully in the seat, getting comfortable. A few minutes later Kate turned to see what she was doing since she’d become so silent to find the woman staring at her.

 

“What are you doing?” Kate asked grinning. She was constantly grinning or laughing around Jeri and it felt great.

 

“Remembering.”

 

Kate raised her eyebrow, “Remembering what?”

 

“Everything,” Jeri answered simply, eyes dancing with memories. “And when I’m done remembering I’m going to memorize everything about this moment.”

 

Kate understood what Jeri meant. She would love to just sit back and be able to stare at Jeri, remembering and memorizing everything about her. She planned to before the night was over.

 

*****

 

Memories began to stir within Jeri when Kate took the last turn off and the car began to ascend a narrow, winding road. The car headlights illuminated a cliff face on Kate’s side, the ocean stretching on for eternity out her own window. Despite the blackness surrounding them Jeri knew this road. She hadn’t been on it for a very long time but she certainly remembered it.

 

Turning to look at Kate she commented, “I know this area.”

 

“I wasn’t sure you’d remember.”

 

“I could never forget.”

 

Rounding the last sharp corner on the winding road Kate turned off onto a long driveway that wound up to a beautiful two-story beach house sitting atop a bluff. A place Jeri never thought she’d see again. The house she’d dreamed of only days ago.

 

When Kate thumbed a gate opener attached to the sun visor above her head and drove through the gates, Jeri turned and looked at her with surprise and curiosity. Kate glanced back giving her a dazzling smile before parking the car in front of the closed garage. Jeri only stared blankly at Kate while she turned off the car, hopped out and walked around to Jeri’s door.

 

A light breeze caressed her lightly covered legs when Kate opened the door and held out her hand for Jeri to take. Still looking at Kate’s smiling face blankly, she took Kate’s hand and stood from the vehicle. Kate shut Jeri’s door, took her hand and began walking to the front door. She stopped a few feet from it and turned to Jeri.

 

“Do you remember this place?”

 

“I dreamt of it,” Jeri said, slightly in awe. She couldn’t believe she was standing outside of it now.

 

Kate smiled, nodding, “I’ve dreamt of it as well.”

 

“I dreamed of it just before you left for New York,” Jeri clarified.

 

Kate’s eyebrow rose with surprise but she said nothing.

 

“How did you… I mean, do you-?”

 

Jeri stopped speaking as Kate reached into her pocket and pulled out a set of keys.

 

“It’s mine. The very dear friend I borrowed it from for us passed away ten years ago. I’d spoken to him about what this place meant to me on many occasions and he left it to me.”

 

Jeri stood motionless; she didn’t know what to say. She watched, enchanted as Kate bridged the distance between them, soft hands wrapping around her own. A gentle gust of wind blew up from the ocean, dancing around them.

 

“I have never brought anyone else here.”

 

“But you’ve had it for ten years. Surely you-.”

 

Kate stopped her with a shake of her head. “No. This place is ours. The only person that belongs here with me is you.”

 

Jeri felt her eyes began to tear at the softly spoken, sincere, heartfelt words. She tried to hold them back but she knew she was fighting a losing battle as Kate continued to speak.

 

“The best weekend of my entire life was spent at this house with you. When I took possession of it ten years ago my boys were away at summer camp. I spent an entire week here by myself remembering and reliving every moment of that weekend.” Kate took a shuddering breath, giving Jeri’s hands a squeeze and capturing her gaze before continuing. “I’ve spent a lot of time here over the last ten years remembering what we shared. I believed I couldn’t have you but I refused to let go of the memories. I refused to let go of the feelings.”

 

Jeri felt tears slip down her cheeks as Kate stepped closer, wrapping arms around her waist and pulling her into her body. Jeri looked down into equally teary, loving eyes.

 

“And now I refuse to ever let you go again.”

 

The love Jeri felt for Kate in that moment was indescribable. Having no words to adequately express her feelings she lowered her head to Kate’s and pressed their lips together. Tongues soon met and passions flared.

 

“I need you,” Kate murmured around a kiss.

 

Jeri felt the admission resonate within her soul. Nodding her head they separated and made it the rest of the way to the front door. Kate inserted the key and motioned for Jeri to step in first.

 

The house was dark but candles illuminated a path leading to the stairs. More candles were placed along each side of the stairs themselves, lighting the way to the upper level.

 

“When did you?” Jeri breathed out in wonder.

 

“I took an earlier flight in from New York and came here directly.”

 

“You planned this?” Jeri asked, still in amazement.

 

A small smile curled Kate’s lips and Jeri had her answer.

 

“I love you,” Jeri told her, hoping those three words would be able to convey just how very much Kate meant to her.

 

“And I love you,” Kate responded, taking her hand. “Let me show you how much.”

 

Jeri followed Kate down the lighted path and up the stairs. Once at the top a path of candles lead the way to the master bedroom. She could hear soft instrumental music playing. Her heart started to race in expectation of what was about to come.

 

She looked around in wonder at the number of candles Kate had also placed in the bedroom until Kate pulled her near. Fingers slipped through her hair, pulling her mouth down to join Kate’s. Immediately both women’s passion ignited and finally there was nothing to extinguish it.

 

“I have waited so long for this,” Kate told her, voice heavy with mounting desire.

 

Jeri’s respiration increased as Kate started to undo the buttons of her silk shirt. She watched Kate’s eyes light up with unconcealed desire as the older woman’s hands finished with the last button and then pushed the silk shirt off her shoulders to reveal soft, firm breasts. Kate continued to guide the shirt down Jeri’s arms, letting it drop to the floor. Jeri moaned when she felt Kate’s lips placing soft kisses along her chest, studiously avoiding her breasts.

 

Her breath hitched when she felt Kate’s hands circle around her waist for the zipper of her skirt. It took only a moment for Kate to unzip it and let it drop away from her body. Jeri made to step out of it but before she could move Kate’s hands were running back up her legs and slipping off her underwear as well. Jeri shivered with lust as she felt Kate move back up her body, stopping for a moment to breathe in her scent before standing again. Nimble fingers soon dispatched her bra as well and left her standing naked next to the bed.

 

Kate took a step back and let her eyes rake over the luscious body illuminated by the candlelight. “You are impossibly more beautiful than I remember.”

 

Jeri blushed, “Now it’s your turn.”

 

She held Kate’s gaze as she approached, a wealth of information being communicated without words. Slowly she began to unbutton Kate’s shirt. Her finger lightly brushed over Kate’s skin in the process, causing the woman to inhale sharply at the touch. Jeri, still holding her gaze, gave a seductive grin as she opened the last button. She could see Kate held her breath expectantly. Dropping her eyes she slowly opened the shirt, her pupils dilating as she took in the sight of Kate’s breasts. Her mouth begged her for a taste but she refused. Instead she met Kate’s gaze again, watching as she ran her index finger from Kate’s collarbone, down between her breasts, to the button of her pants. There she undid the button, quickly followed by the zipper. Sliding the pants and underwear down Kate’s legs, her body followed while her eyes kept contact with Kate’s. As she began to rise back up she stopped and breathed in. Slowly she moved her head closer and licked the spot just above Kate’s pubic hair. Kate gasped, her eyes growing darker with desire, both hands moving to tangle in Jeri’s hair. Jeri chuckled wickedly and moved the rest of the way back up, once again looking down at Kate.

 

“Anticipation is half the fun,” Jeri commented, smirking.

 

“The wait’s over,” Kate growled.

 

Jeri felt a thrill chase up her spine as she watched Kate’s last shred of restraint snap. Kate grabbed her and they both fell to the bed, arms and legs immediately tangling together. Mouths easily found each other while hands roamed, remembering the way each enjoyed being touched.

 

Jeri was on fire. Since the moment she’d watched Kate ascending those stairs she’d wanted to take her. She’d wanted to be taken by her. She needed this woman with desperation and longing; the intensity of which she’d never felt before. Becoming impatient she pinned Kate on her back and got on top of her. She moaned with burning need as she felt her wet centre press against Kate’s abdomen. Instinctively her hips began to rock, trying to find a rhythm for release.

 

*****

 

Kate watched the vision above her, captivated. Jeri kept her gaze as she rocked against her, her hands moving to capture Kate’s breasts, squeezing as she increased her pace. Kate’s mouth watered as Jeri’s breasts moved in time to her thrusts, her mouth begging her to finally let her taste them again. She moved her hands to Jeri’s hips, stilling them.

 

Jeri whimpered.

 

Kate sat up, her arms sliding around Jeri’s back as the woman slipped back into her lap. “Not that way. Not this time,” Kate told her.

 

A part of her still couldn’t believe Jeri was sitting naked in her lap, legs wrapped around her as she looked at her with eyes swimming in love and desire. She felt her eyes start to water as her feelings for this woman surged and consumed her.

 

“Kate?” Jeri asked, moving fingers to wet eyes with concern.

 

Smiling and with a voice rich with emotion Kate replied, “I love you so much.”

 

Jeri’s brow smoothed as her concern vanished, understanding bringing a smile as she leaned in to kiss Kate deeply.

 

“Show me,” Jeri whispered as their lips met and bodies melted together. 

 

Kate felt her need for Jeri intensify with every stroke of the woman’s tongue upon her own. Soon the demand for air caused them to part but Kate only took a short breather before lowering her head to an erect nipple and capturing it between her teeth, pulling it hard before wrapping her lips around it and sucking. Jeri’s legs tightened around her while hands went to her head, both trying to pull her closer as a groan tore from Jeri’s lips.

 

“Oh God!” Jeri exclaimed.

 

Kate flicked her tongue across Jeri’s hard nipple as she massaged it with her teeth, giving it a sharp pull now and again, causing Jeri to gasp deliciously with each tug. Her hands worked at massaging Jeri’s ass, fingers kneading, her palms sliding up and down the firm, soft flesh. Occasionally she let her fingers dip low enough to lightly tease Jeri’s centre. Never touching firmly, just enough to make the blonde squirm.

 

She alternated to the other breast for only a short time before Jeri jerked her head upward, kissing her hard. Kate revelled in the feel of those soft, full lips moving against her own. She loved the feel of Jeri’s tongue sliding into her mouth and the way Jeri gasped into her mouth as she grabbed a breast and pulled on the nipple, twisting it between her fingers.

 

“Kate, please,” Jeri moaned into a kiss.

 

A chill went up Kate’s spine at the deep erotic tone. She ached to touch Jeri so she decided to give into the plea. Jeri sitting in her lap, legs spread open to wrap around her, afforded her excellent leverage. She moved her hand lower with torturous slowness, only grazing pubic hair with the lightest of touches. Jeri whimpered into her mouth, pulling back. Kate momentarily forgot what she was doing as Jeri’s sensual blue eyes held her gaze, only an inch away.

 

“Touch me,” Jeri pleaded, warm breath caressing Kate’s lips.

 

Looking into burning blue, Kate felt the words move through her body, leaving her fingers slightly trembling with the desire to fulfil the request. Fingers moved back to Jeri’s warmth and this time she let them lightly touch warm skin. Then, ever so slowly, she teased her index finger between the swollen labia.

 

Jeri’s head tilted back in pleasure, exposing her neck. Unable to resist the temptation Kate began kissing the bare flesh gently, nibbling with her teeth. Gradually she began running her finger between the swollen folds but stayed away from the one place she knew Jeri was aching for her to touch.

 

“You are so wet,” Kate whispered into Jeri’s neck as her fingers continued to bathe in copious moisture.

 

“Yesss,” Jeri groaned, rubbing her hands up and down Kate’s back.

 

Kate kept her rhythm, never touching Jeri’s clit or the source of all the moisture. Jeri pulled herself closer to Kate with arms and legs and began rocking, trying to make Kate’s fingers slide through the wetness faster so they would move higher and touch the spot she desperately needed them. Jeri’s breasts touched Kate’s own with every move but her fingers did not stray.

 

I could live forever like this, she thought as she watched Jeri’s head fall, chin touching her chest and breathing heavy.

 

Giving into temptation she finally let her finger brush Jeri’s clit very lightly. Just enough to make the woman gasp and jerk in her arms, mumbling ‘yes’ a few times.

 

“Go inside, I need you inside,” Jeri panted, head still down.

 

She could barely restrain herself from obeying the request but she did. Instead she continued to stroke wetness while Jeri continued to try to make her fingers slip in the direction she wanted them to go. After more torturous moments passed Jeri spoke again.

 

“Kate, please. I’m burning. I need to feel-.”

 

Before Jeri could finish her plea Kate swiftly slid two fingers deep inside her. Jeri’s head flew up and her eyes locked with Kate’s penetrating gaze. Both women groaned from not only Kate’s fingers now moving inside Jeri but also from the feelings their gaze conveyed to the other.

 

“Oh God, yes!” Jeri moaned when Kate began a slow thrusting.

 

Jeri placed her lips over Kate’s again, her tongue matching the strokes of Kate’s fingers, driving both of them even wilder. Both women absorbed the breath of the other with a driving need to consume the each other. Kate plunged harder and faster into Jeri, eventually causing the woman to rip away from their kiss and scream out her pleasure. When Kate’s thumb began a slowly rubbing her clit, Jeri thrust her hips hard at Kate, her upper body bending back. She moved her arms from around Kate putting them behind herself for support as well as giving her more power with every thrust.

 

Kate was in awe. Jeri looked magnificent. Kate could see the muscles of her body straining with each movement as Jeri tried to make Kate’s fingers go deeper and deeper. Kate moved her index finger over Jeri’s g-spot and Jeri stilled briefly, screaming out her name before resuming her thrusts with more force. When Kate added a third finger the bed head crashed into the wall from the power of one of Jeri’s thrusts. Kate was so incredibly turned on she could feel her own wet walls grip and flex in time with Jeri’s. She’d never had an orgasm without being touched but at the moment it wouldn’t surprise her if she did.

 

Finally Kate began a more insistent pace on Jeri’s inflamed clit. After a short time she felt Jeri’s walls start to tighten around her fingers. 

 

“Yes Jeri, give it to me,” she demanded huskily.

 

Jeri alternated between moaning and screaming when Kate would flick over her g-spot. Soon her body went tight and Kate felt her fingers gripped hard inside hot, wet flesh. When she felt Jeri start to descend from the pinnacle she ceased her ministrations. With her unoccupied hand she began to lightly rub Jeri’s quivering abs. Jeri’s arms began to lose their strength and that is when Kate plunged three fingers back inside the woman. Her thumb immediately started a pleasurable assault on a still engorged clit while one finger inside Jeri teased her g-spot with perfect skill.

 

Jeri screamed out her appreciation and flung herself back up, her arms wrapping around Kate’s neck, her nails digging into Kate’s back.

 

“Oh fuck!” Jeri yelled out, using her thigh muscles to push herself up and down on Kate’s fingers, keeping the rhythm Kate set.

 

Kate moaned as Jeri lowered her head and sucked Kate’s earlobe into her hot mouth. Feeling Jeri’s wet tongue and hot breath on her ear excited her further causing her to plunge her fingers harder into Jeri’s heat.

 

“Yes, Kate. Fuck me,” Jeri whispered with primal desire into her ear. “Oh yes, just like that,” she grunted as Kate altered her rhythm. “You feel so good inside me.”

 

“Oh, God,” Kate groaned, Jeri’s erotic words arousing her as much as their actions. Wrapping her free arm around Jeri she raked her nails down firm ass cheeks. Jeri gasped out in surprised pleasure and Kate felt her start to convulse around her fingers. Nails raked down her back as Jeri cried out her. The only coherent word Kate recognized was her own name. This time she kept up her tender assault until she was sure Jeri had given her everything she was capable of giving at the moment. When Jeri finally collapsed into her arms Kate slowly slid her fingers out. Jeri moaned softly as she eased out and Kate lovingly caressed the area for a moment before wrapping both her arms around Jeri and holding her tightly.

 

“You are amazing. I love you,” she whispered into sweet smelling blonde hair.

 

Jeri moved her head from where she’d buried it in Kate’s neck and met the dark blue gaze.

 

“And I love you,” she whispered with wet eyes, a tear escaping and sliding down her cheek.

 

Kate caught the tear with her tongue, closing her eyes briefly at the taste. “I promise you these are the only type of tears I will ever make you cry again.”

 

Jeri’s reply was to gently push Kate back onto the bed, kissing her deeply. They were both lost in the kiss for many minutes before Jeri began to kiss her way down Kate’s body.

 

*****

 

Jeri’s body still hummed with sexual satisfaction as she kissed a trail down Kate’s neck. She traced a familiar path of freckles down Kate’s chest to between her breasts where the trail ended. Her tongue wandered right while she brought her opposite hand up to the left. With tongue and fingertips she traced both areolas lightly, softly blowing on the one now wet from her tongue.

 

Kate moaned and squirmed beneath her while trying to move her aching right nipple into Jeri’s hot mouth. Jeri was not ready to give in quite yet; she wanted to make Kate feel as much as she had just felt.

 

Lifting herself on her one free arm Jeri moved from sitting atop Kate to stretching her legs out behind her onto Kate’s own legs. A small nudge from Jeri’s right leg had Kate spreading her legs immediately. Jeri slipped her leg between them while her left leg went to the other side. Kate started to raise her right leg to come into contact with Jeri’s centre causing Jeri to catch the leg between her thighs before it reached its destination.

 

“No. Keep your legs down and spread,” Jeri breathed out over Kate’s nipple.

 

She heard Kate whimper her agreement and drop her leg back to the bed while spreading her legs even further apart.

 

“Good.”

 

Jeri let her left hand drift from Kate’s breast to caress down the woman’s side while her tongue moved from the other breast to trail down Kate’s stomach until it reached the area just before the pubic hair. Kate began moaning above her as she kissed and nipped gently knowing this soft skin to be a very sensitive area that the older woman very much enjoyed having touched. After some moments Jeri began to suck more roughly on an area of skin intending to leave her mark there. Kate’s hips bucked sharply once and a low groan of pleasure started to leave her lips. On another occasion when Jeri had done this Kate told her it felt like Jeri was sucking directly on her clit. She’d put the words to the test that time, trying to see if Kate was capable of having an orgasm from that alone and while she wasn’t, it did put her on knife’s edge and make her incredibly wet.

 

After a minute Jeri stopped sucking and moved her head back slightly to admire her creation. A nice love bite now adorned the area and seeing the mark suddenly made Jeri feel more primal than ever. Lowering her head back down she kissed the mark once more before slowly averting her eyes upward. Kate was looking down at her, eyes half-lidded and thick with passion. Kate licked her lips and Jeri started moving back up her body. Languidly she took her time, placing kisses and soft caresses with her tongue as she moved up but still avoiding Kate’s now painfully erect nipples. When she finally reached Kate’s head both women were breathing heavily with barely controlled desire as they held each other’s gaze.

 

Jeri licked her lips and she felt Kate’s breathing increase another level. Slowly she lowered her head while keeping Kate’s gaze. When she was just about to lose her focus she stopped and instead of pressing her lips against Kate’s she slid her tongue from her mouth and softly caressed Kate’s lips with it. The older woman’s eyes darkened to an impossible shade of blue as their gaze held and she extended her own tongue to meet Jeri’s. Jeri felt her arms start to tremble as their tongues caressed against one another and she knew she wasn’t going to be able to hold herself up much longer. It was difficult enough making herself keep her leg away from the heat she felt emanating from Kate’s centre. This was too much.

 

A second later she didn’t have to worry about it anymore when Kate wrapped both arms around her, yanking her down onto her own body. Her tongue swiftly entered Kate’s mouth and she greedily absorbed the small ‘oomph’ of air that expelled from the woman’s lungs as her weight dropped onto her. Fingers dug pleasurably into her back and she moaned into Kate’s mouth. Jeri felt their kiss permeate every molecule of her body, soaking into her soul. She could feel the love and desire Kate felt for her rolling off the older woman in waves.

 

After long minutes Kate finally pulled away, gasping for air. Jeri didn’t care about air. She needed to consume Kate, to drown in every part of her. Moving to Kate’s ear she growled low into it before sucking the earlobe into her mouth. Kate moaned but Jeri didn’t stay there long, instead kissing along Kate’s jawbone and then down her collarbone, back to the middle of her chest. Again tongue went to the right breast while fingers moved to the left. After only thirty seconds Jeri felt Kate’s fingers move to her head, grabbing and trying to forcefully move her mouth to the nipple.

 

Jeri refused, not letting her head budge.

 

“Please, Jeri. I need you… I need you so damn much.”

 

She couldn't resist that tone of longing in Kate’s husky voice. The need in Kate’s voice sounded like a desperate hunger and Jeri wanted to satisfy it.

 

Simultaneously she moved her fingers to one nipple, her lips and teeth to the other while impacting Kate’s now very wet centre with her right leg. Kate was suddenly overwhelmed with sensation and screamed out in pleasure as Jeri’s fingers and teeth manipulated her nipples in only the way Jeri knew they needed. Her hips began a fast tempo against Jeri’s leg, spreading moisture over the strong thigh.

 

Jeri sucked hard on the nipple while her teeth alternated between nibbling gently and biting roughly. She grinned wickedly as she felt Kate’s nails scratch up her back. She and Kate had both always loved that.

 

Gradually she moved her fingers from manipulating a now very red nipple to moving down Kate’s body to touch her lightly where the woman had been wanting it most. Moving her leg away from undulating hips she stilled them with the palm of her hand against Kate’s pubic bone. Fingers reached the crease and were immediately bathed in hot wetness. Jeri moaned at the amount of moisture and moved her mouth from Kate’s other nipple. Having nearly used all of her patience she moved quickly between Kate’s legs, her eyes now gazing at glistening wetness. Lying on her stomach she used her fingers to part Kate’s labia. She moaned again at the vision, thinking how deeply she loved this woman. She felt Kate’s body shift and angled her head to look up at her. Kate had propped herself on her elbows and was looking down at Jeri, eyes nearly black in the candlelight.

 

An erotic chill ran down Jeri’s spine as she remembered Kate liked to watch, at least until she lost the strength to hold herself up.

 

Jeri ran her tongue along her lips suggestively at Kate before lowering her mouth to the heat. Keeping the labia spread with her fingers she slowly licked one side, feeling her head spin with the sensation of the soft, hot flesh against her tongue. Kate began to groan low and deep above her. Oh god, how did I ever live without her? Licking the other side as well Jeri stopped briefly to enjoy the moment before she plunged her tongue directly into the source of Kate’s wetness. That one, sudden move caused Kate to lose her strength, her head flopping back and her hands moving to Jeri’s head. Jeri hummed with pleasure as Kate ran her fingers through her hair, encouraging her without words while Kate’s throat let loose moan after moan. Jeri felt her chest swell almost painfully with love for the older woman as she licked every inch of flesh over and over again.

 

After endless minutes filled with the most exquisite torture she finally heard Kate plead, “Inside, please. I need to feel you inside me.”

 

Jeri had lost all of her patience and with abandonment swiftly entered three fingers as deeply as she could push them into Kate. She moved her tongue to Kate’s clit and began to rub against it furiously. Kate’s hips surged forward again and again as a low, guttural moan escaped her. After a length of time Jeri calmed her pace, now moving her fingers in a slow, sensual rhythm in and out of Kate while her tongue swirled at a less hurried pace around the now fully engorged clit.

 

“Oh yes, I need you so much. I need you. I need you. I need you,” Kate moaned sensually over and over again, almost chanting, her head moving side to side.

 

Jeri felt the words resonate within her, their meaning twofold. Her eyes watered with the vulnerability the admission brought. Her own emotions for Kate overwhelmed her and suddenly the need to bring her to release become all encompassing.  Jeri sucked Kate’s clit into her mouth, wrapping her lips around it, while increasing the force of her thrusts. Her tongue lavished forceful attention onto the hard bundle of nerves as her lips sucked and in moments Jeri felt her hair being pulled as Kate’s wet muscles convulsed around her fingers. The older woman screamed out Jeri’s name as she came. Just as Kate started to come down Jeri sent her back over the edge causing Kate to thrash from side to side while moaning, “Oh yes, fuck me, fuck me, fuck me.”

 

The primal words heated Jeri’s blood to boiling point and made her own clit ache almost painfully. Keeping her fingers deep inside Kate she fluidly moved back up her body. She positioned herself atop Kate’s thigh, this time letting her own hot centre impact with it. Kate’s eyes flew open and her hands dropped from Jeri’s head to the taller woman’s breasts, pinching the erect nipples.

 

Jeri began sliding herself in time against Kate’s thigh with each thrust of her fingers inside Kate. Her thumb rubbed against clit and both women grunted each time Jeri’s fingers plunged into Kate.

 

“Look at me,” Kate groaned out.

 

Jeri moved her head from its thrown back position and met Kate’s gaze.

 

“Come with me,” Kate told her as she twisted her nipples, voice low and loving.

 

“Yes,” Jeri moaned. 

 

Jeri started to feel Kate’s walls squeezing around her fingers again. This triggered her own orgasm and soon both women grunted one last time before they screamed out in unison, the erotic sounds from each other causing the orgasm to become more intense with each millisecond. They struggled to maintain eye contact throughout, just barely succeeding. Neither woman formed any coherent words as they rode wave after wave of pleasure together.

 

Jeri felt Kate coming down from her high first and removed her fingers when the quivering muscles stopped twitching. Moving her hands to Kate’s breasts she continued to move herself against Kate’s thigh as her orgasm still ripped through her. Just when she thought she was spent Kate grabbed her hips, coaxing her to continue the movement, pressing her thigh more firmly against Jeri’s centre.

 

“I know you’ve got more. Give it to me. I want to watch you,” Kate growled, eyes flashing with lust and love.

 

The deep, sexual tone set Jeri off again and she squeezed Kate’s breasts in her hands throwing her head back, crying out in pleasure while another orgasm over took her.

 

When the last of the shudders passed through her she fell exhausted onto Kate, feeling more loved than she could ever remember as arms wrapped around her, holding her tightly. Both women lay panting and sweaty for long minutes before either moved or could even find the strength to speak.

 

*****

 

As Kate lay holding Jeri in her arms she knew in this moment she was more loved than she’d ever been in her life.

 

I’ve wasted so much time! So much damn time playing a part I was never truly happy playing.

 

You can’t beat yourself up about it forever. Let the past rest for now and enjoy the moment.

 

For once Kate was in full agreement with herself.

 

She ran her fingers up and down Jeri’s back soothingly while she enjoyed the feeling of the body resting against hers. The blonde’s breathing had evened out and the rhythmic pattern of it lulled Kate.

 

“Jeri, that was…”

 

“Incredible,” Jeri finished for her, smiling dreamily at her.

 

“Beyond incredible,” Kate smiled back.

 

The candlelight around them began to dim causing Jeri to attempt to raise herself off Kate to see what was happening with them.

 

“Don’t worry about it. They were only eight hour candles,” Kate explained, holding Jeri in place.

 

As if on cue more candles behind them began to go dark until after only a minute the last of the candles on the bed table next to them singed out of existence, leaving them in total blackness.

 

“This was truly amazing, Kate. From the moment you picked me up at the studio. I will never forget this night,” Jeri promised, placing a kiss against Kate’s collarbone.

 

Kate smiled brightly in the darkness, satisfied that she had succeeded in giving Jeri the memorable night she’d hoped to.

 

“Nor will I,” she responded, placing a kiss on Jeri’s forehead.

 

She sighed with pleasure as Jeri moved up slightly and captured her lips in a warm, loving kiss. Not meant to arouse this time but to impart their deep and abiding love for each other.

 

Jeri yawned when the kiss ended causing Kate to chuckle.

 

“Tired you out, did I?”

 

“Time certainly hasn’t tempered your sexual appetite,” Jeri teased.

 

“Are you complaining?” Kate bantered back.

 

“Oh, not at all. I am entering my prime you know. I plan to feed your hunger to the point of over-indulgence,” Jeri intoned seductively, softly licking a pulse point on Kate’s neck.

 

A soft groan escaped Kate and then her breath caught as she imagined the look in Jeri’s eyes that would go along with that tone.

 

“But I think for now, we could both use some sleep,” Jeri added, stifling another yawn.

 

“Tease,” Kate joked as Jeri rolled off her.

 

Jeri chuckled before telling Kate to turn over. Kate obediently moved onto her side and Jeri spooned in behind her, wrapping her arms securely around the smaller, shorter woman. She felt Jeri nuzzle into her hair, breathing her scent in.

 

“I love you,” Jeri told her, voice deep with emotion.

 

“I love you,” Kate responded, raising one of Jeri’s hands to her lips to kiss.

 

Still holding the hand in her own she brought it to her chest and hugged it against her, absorbing the feeling of Jeri wrapped around her before quickly drifting off.

 

*****

 

Consciousness tugged at Kate’s sleepy brain, her eyes opening a fraction to see a magnificent, perfectly shaped breast. A deliriously happy smile came to her lips as she realized that her waking life was now far better than anything her dreams could offer her. She’d fallen asleep in Jeri’s arms last night and now awoke with her head pillowed on one side of her chest, arm draped over a slender torso. She sighed with contentment as she felt Jeri’s chest rise and fall and listened to her heartbeat.

 

Details from last night’s love making flooded her into her mind causing parts of her to tingle pleasantly. Absently her fingers started stroking in slow patterns on the sleeping woman’s side. Looking up she let her eyes gaze over a long neck, over supple lips parted slightly and to eyes that were still closed in peaceful slumber. Feelings of love surged inside her and her eyes fell back to soft, supple lips. The tingling she felt throughout her body centred in her groin as she remembered those lips wrapped around her, loving her.

 

I need to taste her.

 

The impulsive desire to do so drove Kate to immediately slide down the bed. Gently she used her hands to start to push Jeri’s legs apart. As she started however Jeri spread them apart as far as they would go and Kate looked up in surprise, thinking Jeri must have woken but the blonde beauty was still fast asleep. Kate raised an eyebrow, curious as to what exactly Jeri was dreaming.

 

Lowering her head Kate begin placing soft kisses along a taut, slim stomach, quickly working her way down to the place her tongue was demanding she taste. As she kissed her way to her destination she heard Jeri sigh softly and mumble something unintelligible. Kate finally came to the trimmed patch of short hair and placed kisses there as well. Again Jeri sighed and this time her body shifted slightly upward, giving Kate even greater access.

 

Gently she extended her tongue and firmly slipped it between surprisingly already wet skin. This time Jeri cried out softly, moaning “Oh god, Kate” and slipped one hand onto Kate’s head, pushing down gently in encouragement.

 

“How long have you been awake?” Kate asked humorously before slipping her tongue back between hot folds.

 

Jeri groaned at the probing tongue exploring her before she could answer, “Since you began kissing… oh God!” Jeri cried in pleasure as Kate flicked her tongue over her clit and slowly moved one finger inside the blonde. “My stomach,” Jeri managed to finish between moans.

 

Kate hummed her acknowledgement, the vibration going directly to Jeri’s clit.

 

“Oh, yes,” Jeri groaned out, voice thick with desire.

 

Jeri thought she might explode from pleasure when Kate added another finger inside her. Instinctively she bucked her hips against her while moaning and muttering encouragement. She cried out sharply when she ran her fingers through Kate’s hair and the older woman hummed her pleasure, the vibration again adding to the already incredible sensations. Jeri couldn’t stop herself from using her hands to press herself harder into Kate’s mouth. 

 

When she felt Kate run her teeth over her engorged clit and then suck it hard into her mouth she knew she was gone. Within seconds she could feel her muscles clamp tightly around Kate’s fingers. She cried out, her hips pumping wildly against Kate’s face. The orgasm shuddered through her quivering body and Kate rode it out with her, not stopping her attentions until Jeri dropped her hips back onto the bed, spent.

 

Jeri’s arm lost its strength and dropped away from Kate’s head. She felt Kate kiss her throbbing but satisfied centre tenderly before moving back up her body.

 

Lazily Jeri opened her eyes to find Kate looking down at her with such love and adoration she thought she might melt.

 

“Kiss me,” she demanded, voice still thick with need.

 

As soon as Kate’s mouth touched hers she pushed her tongue past the slightly parted lips and explored every inch of Kate’s mouth she could find. The mixture of tasting her own desire as well as Kate caused Jeri’s head to spin with renewed sexual energy. However, her mounting desire to make love to Kate was cut short when Kate pulled back from the kiss and chuckled.

 

Jeri raised her eyebrow, “And just what is so amusing?”

 

“You didn’t hear that?” Kate asked, grinning.

 

“Hear what?” Jeri asked, eyebrows knitting together in confusion. This caused Kate to chuckle again before answering.

 

“Your stomach. You’ve either got something alive in there or you’re famished.”

 

As if on cue her stomach let loose with a very loud growl, Jeri blushed and grinned sheepishly.

 

“I guess I am hungry. I haven’t eaten since yesterday afternoon at the studio.”

 

“Then it’s time we fix that,” Kate told her, moving onto the bed and sitting on the edge.

 

“But I’m hungry for something else right now,” Jeri growled, pulling Kate back down against her.

 

Before Kate could protest Jeri moved on top of the woman, pinning her arms with her own and recapturing her lips. After no more than five seconds she heard a phone ringing.

 

“Christ!” she fumed, “Is this always going to happen!”

 

“You still have the cutest little pout,” Kate told her, barely holding back her laughter.

 

Jeri looked down at her, frowning. “I am not pouting!”

 

“Oh yes you are,” this time laughing.

 

Jeri couldn’t help but break into a smile. “Maybe a little,” she admitted.

 

“Now answer the phone. It could be-”

 

“Alex, I know,” Jeri finished, releasing Kate’s wrists and rising from the bed.

 

“He probably didn’t expect that his mother would still be ‘reconnecting’,” Kate laughed.

 

Jeri laughed too as she searched the room for her clothes.

 

“Robes are in the bathroom,” Kate told her, still lounging on the bed.

 

“You really did think of everything didn’t you?” Jeri smiled as she entered the bathroom and emerged wearing the cotton white robe Kate had bought her. She held a blue cotton robe in one hand and tossed it at Kate.

 

“Don’t you like me lounging around naked?” Kate asked.

 

Jeri moved fast, only a breath away from Kate’s face within a second, her voice deeply erotic.

 

“Of course I like it. I love it. And if you don’t put something on to cover it up I’m never going to leave this room for anything.” She emphasized her point by squeezing Kate’s breast provocatively.

 

Satisfied she’d made her point when Kate gasped under her touch, Jeri turned to find her purse as the phone kept ringing. When she turned back around, phone in hand, Kate was sitting on the edge of the bed, robe now on, grinning at her.

 

An answering grin formed on her lips as she snapped open the phone and greeted the caller.

 

*****

 

Kate stood from the bed feeling euphoric. Assuming the caller was Alex she left the room and went downstairs to make Jeri something to eat. She noticed the now burnt out remnants of the candles littering the bedroom, hallway and stairs, making a mental note to clean them up once she’d finished cooking. Before she could decide what to make Jeri she heard her running down the stairs at full pelt. She turned around to see what was going on just in time to see Jeri come charging into the room, smiling widely, eyes alive with excitement. Kate only had a moment to brace herself against the kitchen counter as Jeri flung herself into her arms letting out a shout of joy.

 

Kate wrapped her arms around the excited blonde and laughed. She didn’t even know what was so damn exciting yet but it thrilled her to see Jeri so happy. After a moment Jeri moved her face from Kate’s neck to look at her. Kate’s breath was nearly taken away by the utter beauty looking back at her.

 

Will she always make me lose my breath like this?

 

She knew the answer was yes. There was never a time Jeri hadn’t taken her breath away.

 

“What’s going on?” she asked, placing her hands on Jeri’s arms.

 

“That was Chris!” Jeri responded, nearly bouncing.

 

“Riiight,” Kate said slowly, hoping it would encourage Jeri to say more. She couldn’t think of a single reason why talking to Chris would make Jeri so excited.

 

“He has a buyer for the house!”

 

Now Jeri did literally jump up and down with joy. Kate laughed at her enthusiasm as Jeri wrapped her in another hug.

 

“Isn’t that great?” Jeri exclaimed, pulling back and searching her eyes.

 

“It’s wonderful!” Kate replied, grinning more from Jeri’s excitement than her own. “How’d he find one so fast? You two haven’t even had time to put it on the market yet.”

 

Jeri stopped bouncing but the smile stayed firmly etched on her lips. Kate noticed as she started to make the morning coffee.

 

“Here, let me. I was about to start making some breakfast when you came in,” Kate told her.

 

“You don’t have to do that,” Jeri responded, continuing with her preparations.

 

Kate stopped her by placing her hands on top of Jeri’s. “I want to do it,” she explained sincerely, looking her steadily in the eye for a moment before giving her a quick kiss while taking the coffee pot from her hands. “You just sit down and relax and tell me about the house.”

 

Jeri’s smile got impossibly wider and she placed a kiss on Kate’s neck before she took a seat at the table.

 

“Well, he’s got a chef friend who he said has always been interested in the house. Mainly because of the kitchen. The kitchen is set up to be a chef’s dream and his friend just fell in love with the place.” Kate nodded her acknowledge while she brewed the coffee. “So last night he was at this friend’s house, got drunk and told him that him and I split up. He told him we were selling the house and asked his friend if he wanted to buy it. The friend agreed immediately!”

 

Finished with the preparations the coffee could now be left alone to brew and Kate walked to the table to join Jeri.

 

“That’s wonderful,” Kate repeated, getting lost looking into Jeri’s eyes.

 

The smile dropped from Jeri’s lips as she became serious. “I know everything is happening probably faster than you planned it to but after last night… I don’t want to wake up without you ever again.”

 

Kate felt her heart melt all over again at the emotional yet unsure words. Reaching across the table she took Jeri’s hands in her own, squeezing them slightly in reassurance.

 

“It’s not moving too fast at all. I want nothing more than to live with you. Waking up next to you this morning was everything I’ve always wanted.”

 

The bright smile returned to Jeri’s face. “So, do you want to go look around for a house on Monday?”

 

“Absolutely!” Kate returned, “I am more than ready to start planning a life with you.”

 

Rising from her seat she bent over Jeri and kissed her with soft, unhurried passion, only intending to further assure the younger woman. However, before either could figure out how their desire soared and Jeri’s hands moved inside Kate’s robe, sliding up smooth skin toward her breasts.

 

Kate pulled back, eyes dilated with barely controlled passion. Jeri reached out and grabbed the front of her robe, pulling Kate back to her.

 

“Where do you think you’re going?” The seductive tone made Kate shiver.

 

“I am going to make you breakfast,” she replied, moving Jeri’s hands from her robe and trying to control her breathing.

 

“There’s something else I want to eat right now.”

 

Jeri stood and Kate backed up into the bench. She couldn’t take her gaze away from Jeri who was only inches away, looking her up and down with hungry eyes.

 

The taller woman’s stomach chose that moment to let loose with a very loud growl.

 

Jeri stopped her approach and met Kate’s gaze. In seconds they were both doubled over laughing.

 

“I think your stomach is demanding its needs come first,” Kate finally managed after a few moments.

 

“I guess you’re right,” Jeri replied, a crooked half grin on her lips.

 

Kate turned to the now ready coffee behind her and poured two cups. She turned back around and handed them to Jeri. “Here, take them out to the balcony. I’ll throw together a couple of omelettes and be out shortly.”

 

Jeri kissed Kate softly, taking the cups. “Okay, but don’t think this is over. As soon as my stomach has had her demands met I plan on satisfying mine as well.”

 

“I’m counting on it,” Kate replied, returning the suggestive look.

 

Jeri smiled, then turned and made her way out to the balcony. Kate watched her go for a moment before turning back to the stove to make the omelettes.

 

Finally I am exactly where I want to be with who I want to be with.

 

Kate knew their life wasn’t going to be easy. There were going to be those who hated them being together romantically, family, friends and fans alike. Then there was going to be the press. She knew once they started looking for a house together the paparazzi would be all over it. She and Jeri would suddenly be the latest lesbian couple in Hollywood. She needed to make sure they discussed the implications of this thoroughly before Monday. She had no doubt Jeri already knew all this but they both needed to know where each other stood on the matter. For her part, she didn’t care what people thought anymore. As long as she had Jeri she had everything she would ever need. 


End file.
